overforty

My AV is loud.
I REALLY want to go and get wine.
I'm so bored.

least

Don't do it!! You'll regret it if you do. Ride it out. Count your blessings. Take a walk. Clean something. Anything but drink!

overforty

Thanks least x
I'm feeling crippled I sprained my ankle 10 days ago so Im limited in what I can do and I've been for blood tests today so my arm is dead.
I'm sick of watching TV etc ..
I live on my own so I've got no one to talk to.
I cant relax.

Kaily

Think exactly how you will feel tomorrow, not only a horrible hangover, regret, remorse and relentless anxiety.

Don't do it.

Well done for posting!!

Philemon

Honestly you will regret it. I'm on day 1 again and I feel dreadful in every ways it's possible to feel dreadful😥

overforty

Thanks Kaily and Philemon x
I know you're right and I will regret it and feel awful tomorrow.
But Im not sure I care.
I have nothing to do tomorrow , nowhere to go.
I'm not sure what the point in being sober is anymore

Kaily

You do care, that's AV talking.

owen90

I saw some advice posted somewhere on here before which is to "Play the tape through to the end". Meaning, skip ahead in your mind to the part where you feel guilty/sick/hurting etc after relapsing and where you find yourself back at square one again, just worse than last time. That works for me when I get cravings at the moment. You can do it

Philemon

It's not just the physical stuff. Sitting around all day tomorrow with that anxiety, depression and feeling of impending doom makes the day feel endless. This day seems to have lasted 6 months already and it's only tea time

someday147

Hi Overforty,

Sorry to hear you're feeling this way. I'm sure you already know this but there's nothing drinking will not make worse.
Have you tried the online zoom meetings? They have helped with my loneliness. There's so many people out there staying sober in truly dire situations. I'm alone too many of us are. It's difficult but try not to think of tomorrow just today or even just now. My thoughts are with you.

LumenandNyx

You're not sure what the point in being sober is because your AV won't let you think for yourself right now.

The real (insert your name here) would know EXACTLY what the point in being sober is.

I got sober on my own - alone. I know where you're at with the way you feel and with your stinkin' thinkin'.

And I also know that at 50 years old, there's not one thing on this planet that I've encountered so far that beats being sober.

Right now you're going through some Sh!t, but you don't ever have to go through this again if you'll just never swallow any more alcohol.

There's a lot going on out here in the sober world and a lot of it is pretty cool. You don't have to keep missing it for a liquid that makes you feel like you're in hell on earth. Alcohol might feel alright for a minute, but that feeling NEVER lasts.

Decide that you care about (insert your name here again) and start acting like it and the feeling will follow.

overforty

Thankyou for all your replies.
I don’t think abstinence is for me.
I've tried before and failed - Ive had up to 3 months sobriety and felt miserable the whole time - the only good thing about it was that I wasn't hungover.
I know a lot of people are alone right now and not working because of the pandemic- but my life was the same before the pandemic- I was still alone.
I did work though so at least I got to speak to people.
I'm so tired of being alone all the time - I know that alcohol will make me forget just for a while.
I know it sounds dramatic but no one would notice or care if I died - it's just the truth.

nez

I don't know abut you...but nothing was more boring than my drinking. The same old, same old, every single time. Drink. Pass out. Wake up. Repeat. Over and over again.

nez

True for me, that is the reason I kept repeating the cycle of drinking, because alcohol made me forget that I hated alcohol, hated what it did to me, hated the day after, hated being back at day one again. Most all, alcohol made me forget why I wanted to break the cycle in the first place...but just for a while. Then the reasons why would return to me in full force.

2ndhandrose

Dear overforty, this too, shall pass

"Ive had up to 3 months sobriety and felt miserable the whole time - the only good thing about it was that I wasn't hungover."

It took me a lot longer than 3 months to feel better after I quit drinking. We all have different timelines for feeling better.

On top of that, this is a challenging time and boredom is definitely part of the challenge for me, too.

I don't even have any specific advice or 'how to's' to offer other than Please stay with us and keep posting

LumenandNyx

It does sound dramatic.

And, I'm pretty certain you can't speak for me or any other member on this forum. What you think is the truth is not what YOU (insert your name) think at all. That's the voice of your addict bellowing right now. It doesn't appreciate it when you juggle ideas of removing alcohol from your - its - life.

My bet is that everyone on this forum has your back and is rooting for you. And there's a lot of us here ...

SirFHaddock

Three months is not a failure that in itself is an achievement (I've not got anywhere near that yet). And you didn't have hangovers which is a positive you can build on. I don't know you or what your interests are but can you not spend use some of the money you're saving to take up a new hobby and meet other people albeit online?

Coldfusion

SoberRecovery works if you work it! Join a class thread, post in the 24-hour club, hop on board with the weekenders. Here's some good reading for inspiration:

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-part-one.html (Dee74's story - Part One)

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-part-2-a.html (Dee's Story Part 2)

Anna

Your AV is trying to take control. When I look back at my life when I was drinking, it was so boring because I isolated myself and I stopped my involvement in all my activities and hobbies. I know the pandemic limits what we can do, and that's tough. When you were sober for three months, did you make any other changes in your life besides stopping drinking? Making changes to support my recovery was really important for my recovery. Do hang in there.

brighterday1234

There is a solution.