Gabe1980

But I am just not doing it. I"m not. I have come to far now.

I obviously jinxed myself yesterday saying none of this stress is triggering my drinking....WELL IT IS TODAY! Just needed to get that out.

Surrendered19

Yeah we can't have wine Gabe. "Wine" to you and me is 120 bottles over the next 60 days and not just back to square 1. It would be back to square negative 108, hangovers, organ pain, shakes, sweating, thoughts disorganized, drunken stupidity. That's the only kind of "wine" we know and we don't do that to ourselves anymore. We cannot because normal drinking is simply not how we roll at all.

LumenandNyx

For some reason, one of the things that helps me when I find myself thinking about wine - just knowing I can go get some anytime I want - helps. There's a ton of it right down the street. You know? And it's not going anywhere. So - instead of going to the store, I'm just going to go to the gym.

Coldfusion

Yup, not just back to square one. My nephew just showed me that: he ended up in the hospital from withdrawals on his last bender.

Gabe1980

Thanks folks - I know! It's all just rubbish swimming around my head and me trying to get away from how I feel.

I'm in bed now and I am going walking tomorrow, instead of being a drunken pathetic mess all day. Its fecking hard sometimes this though

PeaceManic

It sounds counter intuitive but that has helped me too. Hell, if civilization broke down, you would still be able to buy hooch with enough bottle caps.

55 days since latest trip to hell and I don't have any urges thankfully. It would take two bottles minimum to get any buzz, and then weeks or months of fighting a losing battle against horrific withdrawals. And a very real danger of livr failure this time. Screw that, everything's so much easier booze free.

kenton

Sometimes I still fantasise about a cold glass of wine on a warm summer's evening. I see myself standing amongst friends, chatting happily and sipping my wine slowly... Maybe even putting my wine down somewhere and forgetting where I put it.... That's what non-alcoholics can do, I've seen them do it. Couldn't believe it. How could they forget where they put their drink? But we're alcoholics Gabe and what I just described is pure fantasy for us. The reality would be somewhat different. I'd drink the first glass of cold wine on a warm summer's evening ..... But I wouldn't really taste it because I'd drink it so quick and then I'd search for another..... And another .... And another. Then people would start to annoy me. Why are they drinking so slow? Why are they here? It would be better if I could drink on my own. Then I'd get loud and someone would look at me and I'd get defensive and I'd either get into an argument or start crying. Then my husband would suggest I drink a glass of water and this suggestion would make me really angry so I'd start a row with him and say things I never even think when sober. I'd be drinking whilst all this is going on and at some point I'd enter the world of blackout which is frankly terrifying because I'd still be walking and talking but alcohol would have full control of my brain and then I'd wake up with no memory of what happened in blackout. And I'd probably wish I was dead. So, yeah.... I might give wine a miss tonight and have a peppermint tea instead. It's just a lot nicer. Stay sober with me Gabe xxx

Gabe1980

I related to every single part of that......thank you. Especially the gulping down the wine and blackouts. I black out EVERY time. It is all just fantasy and I have to remind myself its not real.

I am on green tea, half a packet of digestives and bought myself some new jeans with the 'wine' money. I'll make it.

That thing about getting off on knowing booze is there but choosing not to - I have that a lot....much prefer it to this Everyone

Virituze2020

Sorry to hear about your nephew, hope he'll be alright. and maybe this will be his rock bottom.

Meraviglioso

Stay strong!!! NO NO NO wine!!!!!!

least

Stay sober and the desire to drink will fade with time.

Gabe1980

I am sorry to hear about your nephew too CF. I hope he gets better soon and doesn't have to go through thst agsin.

Hey Mera - NO NO NO. I don't drink anymore

Meraviglioso

No you don't! Keep pushing forward as a non-drinker! You are amazing.

Would you like some reading material? I wrote something about my alcoholism for a contest here in Italy. It was chosen to be published in a book!

Gabe1980

I would love that. Thank you 💓

Dee74

One of the things I learned from the Alan Carr book was maybe I didn't so much want wine as I wanted a certain effect.
You've identified stress as the problem - so think about what else can you do for stress, Gabe?

Some ideas
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...44-stress.html (Stress)
D

Hodd

I’m a few days short of 19 months sober, and I quite often want wine, especially when eating Italian spicy dishes where red wine really works. I’ll be honest and say that certain foods work better with red wine, but I’ll have to enjoy such pairings in the next life if ever.

I had some sort of control as a drinker. I’d drink a bottle of wine within an hour and wanted more, but it just didn’t taste right after that so I stopped. Later on in my drinking days, I’d buy 2 x 187ml bottles, so about the equivalent of half a normal bottle, but I definitely wanted more. Any enjoyment or savouring of the wine had long gone. It was just guzzling.

Just ignore the cravings. They will fade but reappear occasionally as smaller versions. Think of those sophisticated wine drinkers in continental Europe enjoying wine with their lunch. Those countries have just as many liver problems if not more.

PhoenixJ

My support to you.

overforty

I completely relate to your whole post Kenton- and often get lost in the fantasy of
"social "drinking.
I could never socially drink I was always the one who got too drunk and humiliated myself.
Doing awful or dangerous things that I often couldn't remember doing.

brighterday1234

Alcohol will always be available. Life will not 🙏

Sober45

Congratulations on overcoming the urge. Very constructive actions...even rewarding yourself. Today is a new day and now you can be grateful for what you overcame... major sober muscles!