One week sober
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2020
Posts: 12
One week sober
Hi everyone! I am one week sober from mostly wine today. I happened to come across this site when I started to have a craving at 5pm yesterday. I am in my mid forties and a wife/mom of three littles. I have always had red flags for an addictive personality. I binge drank in college and even an ambulance ride at one point. when I met and married my husband I kept it under control. I never drank while pregnant or breastfeeding. However, when I became a stay at home mom I started down the wino track. Everyone who knows me knows that I love red wine. I quit drinking for three years after a blackout (dinner with husbands partners/colleague). I started on an anti depressant and was doing very well for three years and then my father passed away. I talked to my therapist about coming off of the medication...looking back all for the reason of strictly being able to drink wine again. I think I was grieving and wanting to desperately numb out. I planned it. I spoke confidently to my husband about being ready to have a glass...only a glass of red wine with dinner. And for a very brief time it started out that way..I enjoyed two glasses and stopped. However, I woke up the next day excited to have some wine that night. Obviously, things very quickly progressed. It quickly went from two glasses a night to a bottle. I started to hoard wine once the pandemic hit (scared that they would ban alcohol sales). It is amazing to me over eight months how quickly things escalated. I would watch the clock..my start time initially was 5 o’clock but I would start to move it up on Friday and Saturday to 4. After the first few glasses a would lose all discipline and started to open a second bottle...soon my new normal was a bottle and half..maybe a vodka tonic to start dinner. I would wake every night at two or three, heart pounding, sweating...not sure of how the night ended. I started to write myself notes while drunk to ease the anxiety. I would get up in the middle of the night dump whatever was left of the wine and swear to never touch it again only to go out buy more. I became paranoid that the cashier was judging me for the amount of wine I was buying...going to different stores to mix it up. At one point I dumped 10 bottles of wine down the drain only to go out and buy more a week later. A couple of weeks ago I started to have heart palpitations and experience numbness in my arms. I started to google my symptoms and really think my body was sending me signs that enough was enough. I sat my husband down and told him that I couldn’t control my wine intake ( knowing this would be a point of no return as he takes it very seriously) He agreed and we rid the house of all alcohol. That was one week ago today. I’m feeling great. Sleeping great. I’m running again and present with my children but still around dinner...I miss it. I’m here to ask for your support. Thank you so much for reading.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2020
Posts: 12
Originally Posted by rainyengland 
Well done on ditching the wine , was my vice and similar story although I was polishing the bottle off for breakfast at the end !
life is so much better , keep going !
life is so much better , keep going !
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,097
Congratulation on one week sober!
Great that you have support at home. You have set yourself up for a better and healthier life ahead. Keep up the good work, and if you ever feel tempted, post here first.
Great that you have support at home. You have set yourself up for a better and healthier life ahead. Keep up the good work, and if you ever feel tempted, post here first.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,100
I'm in mid 40s and also a wife and mother. My experience has been very similar. Whenever I tried to moderate it always escalated over time and then I would dump it down the drain only to go out and buy again....within a day. It is a vicious cycle.
The cycle didn't end for me until i FULLY embraced the notion that moderation would never be possible...end of.
Someone posted on here yesterday that normal drinkers don't need to think about moderation...and that is the difference between "us" and "them". Makes perfect sense to me now.
Unfortunately, I didn't figure this out until my daughter was 18. She has suffered and I didn't even realize how bad until I stopped drinking. More clarity comes with every sober day. I really hope you can nail it this time...for you and your family. The clock is ticking away....
Today, I'm almost 7 months sober. My life is so much better. When I got up this morning I was pondering all the different things I can do this weekend. I think it's going to be a bbq and maybe a good movie...and there's always some dark chocolate on the menu. When I was drinking, I was consumed by thoughts of drinking every darn morning...hating myself. So there was no room left for the things I'm doing now.
Sounds to me like your ready to make this your final quit. Do it!
The cycle didn't end for me until i FULLY embraced the notion that moderation would never be possible...end of.
Someone posted on here yesterday that normal drinkers don't need to think about moderation...and that is the difference between "us" and "them". Makes perfect sense to me now.
Unfortunately, I didn't figure this out until my daughter was 18. She has suffered and I didn't even realize how bad until I stopped drinking. More clarity comes with every sober day. I really hope you can nail it this time...for you and your family. The clock is ticking away....
Today, I'm almost 7 months sober. My life is so much better. When I got up this morning I was pondering all the different things I can do this weekend. I think it's going to be a bbq and maybe a good movie...and there's always some dark chocolate on the menu. When I was drinking, I was consumed by thoughts of drinking every darn morning...hating myself. So there was no room left for the things I'm doing now.
Sounds to me like your ready to make this your final quit. Do it!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2020
Posts: 12
Originally Posted by Sober45
I'm in mid 40s and also a wife and mother. My experience has been very similar. Whenever I tried to moderate it always escalated over time and then I would dump it down the drain only to go out and buy again....within a day. It is a vicious cycle.
The cycle didn't end for me until i FULLY embraced the notion that moderation would never be possible...end of.
Someone posted on here yesterday that normal drinkers don't need to think about moderation...and that is the difference between "us" and "them". Makes perfect sense to me now.
Unfortunately, I didn't figure this out until my daughter was 18. She has suffered and I didn't even realize how bad until I stopped drinking. More clarity comes with every sober day. I really hope you can nail it this time...for you and your family. The clock is ticking away....
Today, I'm almost 7 months sober. My life is so much better. When I got up this morning I was pondering all the different things I can do this weekend. I think it's going to be a bbq and maybe a good movie...and there's always some dark chocolate on the menu. When I was drinking, I was consumed by thoughts of drinking every darn morning...hating myself. So there was no room left for the things I'm doing now.
Sounds to me like your ready to make this your final quit. Do it!
The cycle didn't end for me until i FULLY embraced the notion that moderation would never be possible...end of.
Someone posted on here yesterday that normal drinkers don't need to think about moderation...and that is the difference between "us" and "them". Makes perfect sense to me now.
Unfortunately, I didn't figure this out until my daughter was 18. She has suffered and I didn't even realize how bad until I stopped drinking. More clarity comes with every sober day. I really hope you can nail it this time...for you and your family. The clock is ticking away....
Today, I'm almost 7 months sober. My life is so much better. When I got up this morning I was pondering all the different things I can do this weekend. I think it's going to be a bbq and maybe a good movie...and there's always some dark chocolate on the menu. When I was drinking, I was consumed by thoughts of drinking every darn morning...hating myself. So there was no room left for the things I'm doing now.
Sounds to me like your ready to make this your final quit. Do it!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2020
Posts: 12
Originally Posted by Coz
Congratulation on one week sober!
Great that you have support at home. You have set yourself up for a better and healthier life ahead. Keep up the good work, and if you ever feel tempted, post here first.
Great that you have support at home. You have set yourself up for a better and healthier life ahead. Keep up the good work, and if you ever feel tempted, post here first.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
That sounds good, clane42.
All you have to do is not pick up the first one. Go to bed sober tonight. Simples.
Welcome and congrats on your first Week.
Join us over in Weekenders if you'd like, we just chat about everything and nothing - some good experience, strength, support and hope over there. We start anew every weekend and it runs through the week. :
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ly-2020-a.html (Waving away Weekend Wobbles. Weekenders 24 - 27 July 2020)
All you have to do is not pick up the first one. Go to bed sober tonight. Simples.
Welcome and congrats on your first Week.
Join us over in Weekenders if you'd like, we just chat about everything and nothing - some good experience, strength, support and hope over there. We start anew every weekend and it runs through the week. :
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ly-2020-a.html (Waving away Weekend Wobbles. Weekenders 24 - 27 July 2020)
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
welcome, clane
yes, finally accepting my inability to control this thing was the turnaround point for me. getting engaged with others has been a huge part of my ongoing sobriety.
good to have you here, and congratulations on one week!
yes, finally accepting my inability to control this thing was the turnaround point for me. getting engaged with others has been a huge part of my ongoing sobriety.
good to have you here, and congratulations on one week!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 666
Originally Posted by clane42
Hi everyone! I am one week sober from mostly wine today. I happened to come across this site when I started to have a craving at 5pm yesterday. I am in my mid forties and a wife/mom of three littles. I have always had red flags for an addictive personality. I binge drank in college and even an ambulance ride at one point. when I met and married my husband I kept it under control. I never drank while pregnant or breastfeeding. However, when I became a stay at home mom I started down the wino track. Everyone who knows me knows that I love red wine. I quit drinking for three years after a blackout (dinner with husbands partners/colleague). I started on an anti depressant and was doing very well for three years and then my father passed away. I talked to my therapist about coming off of the medication...looking back all for the reason of strictly being able to drink wine again. I think I was grieving and wanting to desperately numb out. I planned it. I spoke confidently to my husband about being ready to have a glass...only a glass of red wine with dinner. And for a very brief time it started out that way..I enjoyed two glasses and stopped. However, I woke up the next day excited to have some wine that night. Obviously, things very quickly progressed. It quickly went from two glasses a night to a bottle. I started to hoard wine once the pandemic hit (scared that they would ban alcohol sales). It is amazing to me over eight months how quickly things escalated. I would watch the clock..my start time initially was 5 o’clock but I would start to move it up on Friday and Saturday to 4. After the first few glasses a would lose all discipline and started to open a second bottle...soon my new normal was a bottle and half..maybe a vodka tonic to start dinner. I would wake every night at two or three, heart pounding, sweating...not sure of how the night ended. I started to write myself notes while drunk to ease the anxiety. I would get up in the middle of the night dump whatever was left of the wine and swear to never touch it again only to go out buy more. I became paranoid that the cashier was judging me for the amount of wine I was buying...going to different stores to mix it up. At one point I dumped 10 bottles of wine down the drain only to go out and buy more a week later. A couple of weeks ago I started to have heart palpitations and experience numbness in my arms. I started to google my symptoms and really think my body was sending me signs that enough was enough. I sat my husband down and told him that I couldn’t control my wine intake ( knowing this would be a point of no return as he takes it very seriously) He agreed and we rid the house of all alcohol. That was one week ago today. I’m feeling great. Sleeping great. I’m running again and present with my children but still around dinner...I miss it. I’m here to ask for your support. Thank you so much for reading.
Clane,
I'm so glad you introduced yourself here. This is a wonderful group with a lot of collective wisdom. I "met" you over on my other post, but wanted to speak up here too. I totally relate to your situation. This group is what made the difference for me in being able to quit. I did it on my own, with the help of this group. No AA or other outside support, although that works for many people too.
I see so much of myself in you, just a decade or so younger! You are SO smart to get on this now.
It's amazing how fast drinking can escalate, isn't it, once you've opened the floodgates of trying to moderate, isn't it? "One glass or two" never worked long for me either. I even tried measuring by ounces. Or certain glasses. Or by buying individual serve bottles. Craziness.
I too would write notes to myself when I'd been drinking to try to help me resist the next day, but it was futile. I"d be fine the first half of the day when I felt sick and tired and ashamed, but by the time 4 or 5 pm rolled around, I would talk myself into going out to buy a bottle of wine to replace the one I had poured down the drain early the same morning in shame and desperation. It's lunacy! Limiting how much I bought at a time and have on hand to try to "force moderate" never worked for me. Finally, the ONLY thing that did was to realize alcohol was NOT working for me (understatement) any more in any way, and I had to just cut it out completely. It makes everything so much easier. Moderation was a losing battle, and the more you read here you will find that is a universal experience.
I know you want better and more for yourself and your family. Huge congrats to you for getting on the path and already being a week along the way! Keep reading and posting here. I can't tell you how thankful I am to have all that behind me. You said your kids are young... I was drinking when mine were in middle and high school. I faced the horrible situation of needing to go pick them up somewhere from a friend's house or a dance and having to time my drinking around that, or being forced to not be able to get them because of secretly drinking my wine. Or having them come home wanting to tell me about something important about a relationship or crisis and being unable to speak without slurring my words and then not remembering the next day what they told me. It's a dreadful memory. You can prevent all that now.
Life is so much better and easier when you aren't prioritizing a bottle of wine! over yourself and your family.
I have often thought through this shutdown that I"m so relieved to not be actively drinking now. I am POSITIVE I would've been hoarding wine just like you describe.
We totally understand and are here to help!
Truly, all the best,
from your friend tealily
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2020
Posts: 12
Originally Posted by tealily
Clane,
I'm so glad you introduced yourself here. This is a wonderful group with a lot of collective wisdom. I "met" you over on my other post, but wanted to speak up here too. I totally relate to your situation. This group is what made the difference for me in being able to quit. I did it on my own, with the help of this group. No AA or other outside support, although that works for many people too.
I see so much of myself in you, just a decade or so younger! You are SO smart to get on this now.
It's amazing how fast drinking can escalate, isn't it, once you've opened the floodgates of trying to moderate, isn't it? "One glass or two" never worked long for me either. I even tried measuring by ounces. Or certain glasses. Or by buying individual serve bottles. Craziness.
I too would write notes to myself when I'd been drinking to try to help me resist the next day, but it was futile. I"d be fine the first half of the day when I felt sick and tired and ashamed, but by the time 4 or 5 pm rolled around, I would talk myself into going out to buy a bottle of wine to replace the one I had poured down the drain early the same morning in shame and desperation. It's lunacy! Limiting how much I bought at a time and have on hand to try to "force moderate" never worked for me. Finally, the ONLY thing that did was to realize alcohol was NOT working for me (understatement) any more in any way, and I had to just cut it out completely. It makes everything so much easier. Moderation was a losing battle, and the more you read here you will find that is a universal experience.
I know you want better and more for yourself and your family. Huge congrats to you for getting on the path and already being a week along the way! Keep reading and posting here. I can't tell you how thankful I am to have all that behind me. You said your kids are young... I was drinking when mine were in middle and high school. I faced the horrible situation of needing to go pick them up somewhere from a friend's house or a dance and having to time my drinking around that, or being forced to not be able to get them because of secretly drinking my wine. Or having them come home wanting to tell me about something important about a relationship or crisis and being unable to speak without slurring my words and then not remembering the next day what they told me. It's a dreadful memory. You can prevent all that now.
Life is so much better and easier when you aren't prioritizing a bottle of wine! over yourself and your family.
I have often thought through this shutdown that I"m so relieved to not be actively drinking now. I am POSITIVE I would've been hoarding wine just like you describe.
We totally understand and are here to help!
Truly, all the best,
from your friend tealily
I'm so glad you introduced yourself here. This is a wonderful group with a lot of collective wisdom. I "met" you over on my other post, but wanted to speak up here too. I totally relate to your situation. This group is what made the difference for me in being able to quit. I did it on my own, with the help of this group. No AA or other outside support, although that works for many people too.
I see so much of myself in you, just a decade or so younger! You are SO smart to get on this now.
It's amazing how fast drinking can escalate, isn't it, once you've opened the floodgates of trying to moderate, isn't it? "One glass or two" never worked long for me either. I even tried measuring by ounces. Or certain glasses. Or by buying individual serve bottles. Craziness.
I too would write notes to myself when I'd been drinking to try to help me resist the next day, but it was futile. I"d be fine the first half of the day when I felt sick and tired and ashamed, but by the time 4 or 5 pm rolled around, I would talk myself into going out to buy a bottle of wine to replace the one I had poured down the drain early the same morning in shame and desperation. It's lunacy! Limiting how much I bought at a time and have on hand to try to "force moderate" never worked for me. Finally, the ONLY thing that did was to realize alcohol was NOT working for me (understatement) any more in any way, and I had to just cut it out completely. It makes everything so much easier. Moderation was a losing battle, and the more you read here you will find that is a universal experience.
I know you want better and more for yourself and your family. Huge congrats to you for getting on the path and already being a week along the way! Keep reading and posting here. I can't tell you how thankful I am to have all that behind me. You said your kids are young... I was drinking when mine were in middle and high school. I faced the horrible situation of needing to go pick them up somewhere from a friend's house or a dance and having to time my drinking around that, or being forced to not be able to get them because of secretly drinking my wine. Or having them come home wanting to tell me about something important about a relationship or crisis and being unable to speak without slurring my words and then not remembering the next day what they told me. It's a dreadful memory. You can prevent all that now.
Life is so much better and easier when you aren't prioritizing a bottle of wine! over yourself and your family.
I have often thought through this shutdown that I"m so relieved to not be actively drinking now. I am POSITIVE I would've been hoarding wine just like you describe.
We totally understand and are here to help!
Truly, all the best,
from your friend tealily
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2020
Posts: 12
Originally Posted by fini
welcome, clane
yes, finally accepting my inability to control this thing was the turnaround point for me. getting engaged with others has been a huge part of my ongoing sobriety.
good to have you here, and congratulations on one week!
yes, finally accepting my inability to control this thing was the turnaround point for me. getting engaged with others has been a huge part of my ongoing sobriety.
good to have you here, and congratulations on one week!
Re-Tread
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Meditation
Posts: 1,300
Wow clane I relate to so much of what you said. It is amazing how many of us think, drink, and feel so similarly.
I totally remember waking up being excited to be able to drink again when I relapsed. Too excited!
I also remember waking up at 3 in the morning sweating, shaking, dehydrated, and with a headache not remembering how the evening finished. I hate that feeling and I pray I never forget that. Thank you for the reminder!
Congratulations on a week 🙂
I totally remember waking up being excited to be able to drink again when I relapsed. Too excited!
I also remember waking up at 3 in the morning sweating, shaking, dehydrated, and with a headache not remembering how the evening finished. I hate that feeling and I pray I never forget that. Thank you for the reminder!
Congratulations on a week 🙂
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2020
Posts: 12
Originally Posted by Fallow
Wow clane I relate to so much of what you said. It is amazing how many of us think, drink, and feel so similarly.
I totally remember waking up being excited to be able to drink again when I relapsed. Too excited!
I also remember waking up at 3 in the morning sweating, shaking, dehydrated, and with a headache not remembering how the evening finished. I hate that feeling and I pray I never forget that. Thank you for the reminder!
Congratulations on a week 🙂
I totally remember waking up being excited to be able to drink again when I relapsed. Too excited!
I also remember waking up at 3 in the morning sweating, shaking, dehydrated, and with a headache not remembering how the evening finished. I hate that feeling and I pray I never forget that. Thank you for the reminder!
Congratulations on a week 🙂
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