Day 1 again - maybe?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,097
Plan for today - find a rehab facility that I can afford and get help. In a bad way today and using the excuse of 'just a couple' to let me function in getting a plan in place. Relationship issues due to drinking in a vague but real way. I need to stop pretending with hubby that I am OK when I am not and being a rather nasty partner to live with. I am hoping he can provide some support in my rehab, but I am not sure I deserve his help at the moment.Spending lot of time on SR and trying to finding rehab places in Queensland within our travel restrictions today - but still on the turps trying to find a way forward.
zero score today
zero score today Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 205
I think looking into rehab options is smart. It sounds like you may need medical help with detox and it would be great if you could get into an environment with fellow alcoholics. Perhaps your doctor could recommend a place that would be affordable. Your husband sounds like a good guy from what you've said and he may have to educate himself on what an alcoholic is and it is the first drink for you that is the problem.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,097
Today is it - I no longer drink.
I shall keep watching the clock and see every hour go by until I get to the end of day one.
I was hoping to book into a rehab program, but they are all a bit on the expensive side, so will do what I did last time and make it happen.
Why I failed last time after a couple of months is something I will put more thought into after this first week is over and I am feeling physically and mentally stronger.
I really don't want to go through the pain and anguish of these first days, but I do want to come out the other end committed to never drinking again.
Here goes!
I shall keep watching the clock and see every hour go by until I get to the end of day one.
I was hoping to book into a rehab program, but they are all a bit on the expensive side, so will do what I did last time and make it happen.
Why I failed last time after a couple of months is something I will put more thought into after this first week is over and I am feeling physically and mentally stronger.
I really don't want to go through the pain and anguish of these first days, but I do want to come out the other end committed to never drinking again.
Here goes!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,097
Originally Posted by BeckoningCat 
Coz please take good care of yourself. I am proud of you for taking the first step. If you need help, please put your health and your survival over expense.
Thanks BeckoningCat
I really am still tossing up on needing to go to a rehab retreat - but would prefer to keep some money aside so I don't have to go back to work for a while. A large part (or at least that is my excuse) of drinking again was the stress of work - particularly having to work from home.
One of the facilities I can get into within a few days, but it is a 12 hour drive to get there and lots of $$. Also nervous about the concept of being locked away for 30 days with no phone or computer.
15 hours since my last drink! Neighbours have just invited us over for an afternoon drink - it would be great to have our 'over the fence' catch up as they are the easiest way to socialise with social distancing in place. But, I need to get past day 1 so I can then aim for day 2 etc., so I am probably going to have to say no as watching others drink is a bit too much for me at the moment.
Really appreciate the message -
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
Originally Posted by Coz
Choices as I see them, destroy all hope and keep drinking, or do the tough yards forever. .
i hear you on them being the choices you see at this time, but your vision is not clear.
many examples here on SR of different ways folks have followed to get to other, better choices with more satisfying results.
you can, too.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,097
Thanks SoupconIt was a rough day, but made it through.Holding on to the knowledge that it will get easier in a few days time.
Really appreciate you checking in on me regularly - it helps a lot.
Really appreciate you checking in on me regularly - it helps a lot.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,097
Day 2 is nearly done.
I'm feeling a little better than yesterday (thank goodness), but looking forward to this week being over.
Thanks to all that provided support and positive comments and advice. SR is fantastic!
A note for me when I ever think I can have a drink to read back on and remember: night sweats, trembling, eyes that can't focus, headache, needles jabbing in my feet, tingling, upset stomach, brain that can't work and even managed to offend SR people with poor choice of words, unable to eat, so much to do around the house and can't do anything, scared of having a shower as no balance, letting family down on special occasions due to physical and mental state.
COZ - don't touch alcohol again. You can't be a normal drinker and most certainly can't stop at one drink or one day.
I'm feeling a little better than yesterday (thank goodness), but looking forward to this week being over.
Thanks to all that provided support and positive comments and advice. SR is fantastic!
A note for me when I ever think I can have a drink to read back on and remember: night sweats, trembling, eyes that can't focus, headache, needles jabbing in my feet, tingling, upset stomach, brain that can't work and even managed to offend SR people with poor choice of words, unable to eat, so much to do around the house and can't do anything, scared of having a shower as no balance, letting family down on special occasions due to physical and mental state.
COZ - don't touch alcohol again. You can't be a normal drinker and most certainly can't stop at one drink or one day.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Arizona, USA
Posts: 1,598
Originally Posted by BeckoningCat
I went to two on-line meetings in the past few hours and I have to say that there's something to being on Zoom watching people on their little screens, some with cats or dogs, and listening to them share that made me feel a lot less alone. I really think they serve a great purpose with the lack of personal contact.
I have been loving zoom meetings too. Dunno what it is. Just really easy to get to a meeting.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,097
Hi soupcon.
On day 3 now.
I know that have a few more days of really awful withdrawal to go through, but woke up this morning and feel so much better in that I haven't been dry retching - great to have that one out the way! Just working hard to count the little positives that each day brings. Hopefully tomorrow (or wishfully later today) I can drop another symptom off the list.
My positive at the moment (aside from not throwing up) is that I am thinking that I can get through this. I'll spend lots of today reading here and hope to have a couple of little tasks completed (thinking shower, eat something and a short walk).
How are you doing soupcon?
On day 3 now.
I know that have a few more days of really awful withdrawal to go through, but woke up this morning and feel so much better in that I haven't been dry retching - great to have that one out the way! Just working hard to count the little positives that each day brings. Hopefully tomorrow (or wishfully later today) I can drop another symptom off the list.
My positive at the moment (aside from not throwing up) is that I am thinking that I can get through this. I'll spend lots of today reading here and hope to have a couple of little tasks completed (thinking shower, eat something and a short walk).
How are you doing soupcon?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 205
I used to dry retch daily first thing in the morning. I sure don't miss that. You can do this, Coz. I never thought I could stop drinking. You did it for two months. You can do that again. If your husband wants to help you, tell him what you need from him. Remove that wine from your refrigerator. Don't put temptation in front of your face. It makes it too easy to slip. You don't need to test yourself like this in early sobriety. Congrats on day 3!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,097
Originally Posted by fini
way to go on day one, Coz!
Hi fini
I apologise. I meant to send you a message to say thanks for your post.
Day one was atrocious, day two awful and now up to day three. Today is a great improvement on the first two days, so I am glad that I am sticking it out.
I am really looking forward to feeling better each day. I know last time at about a month, I was feeling pretty good. Inability to sleep and being emotional and moody were the only real physical issues left. So I want to feel like that again and then have a plan to keep it up for longer.
Hope you are doing well!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
