Day 1 again - maybe?
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
i am doing well, Coz, thanks.
and good to hear you are feeling better with a bit more time.
i would like to caution you t not expect to feel better each day in a straight line, as the straight-line thing doesn't seem to be the way it goes for many. i think of it as a graph where the general tendency is definitely "up", but with dips and valleys.
definitely the right direction!
and i share this thread
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ml#post3836936 ("stages" of recovery)
because it might be helpful to you as you move along this time, or to maybe see some resonance to what happened in your last attempt.
and good to hear you are feeling better with a bit more time.
i would like to caution you t not expect to feel better each day in a straight line, as the straight-line thing doesn't seem to be the way it goes for many. i think of it as a graph where the general tendency is definitely "up", but with dips and valleys.
definitely the right direction!
and i share this thread
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ml#post3836936 ("stages" of recovery)
because it might be helpful to you as you move along this time, or to maybe see some resonance to what happened in your last attempt.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,097
Day 4 today. Feeling relieved to have made it through the last three days and don't want to ever do that again.
Thanks fini for the stages of recovery - they do resonate with me from last time so I have added it to my list of threads to read if I ever even thinking about a drink and for regular reading to understand more what is happening in my recovery mode.
I have made my list of things to do today, but still keeping the list quite short. Lots more reading and not putting too much pressure on myself. Hubby wants me to make more progress on the deck that we are building, but don't quite trust myself with power tools at the moment. He doesn't quite understand what I am going through and a bit frustrated that I am at home and not getting anything achieved while he is out working. He also thinks it will be better if I keep busy, but I'm not ready for that yet.
Oh well, I reckon I will be able to pull my weight in a few more days (albeit not as efficiently as either of us would like).
Thanks fini for the stages of recovery - they do resonate with me from last time so I have added it to my list of threads to read if I ever even thinking about a drink and for regular reading to understand more what is happening in my recovery mode.
I have made my list of things to do today, but still keeping the list quite short. Lots more reading and not putting too much pressure on myself. Hubby wants me to make more progress on the deck that we are building, but don't quite trust myself with power tools at the moment. He doesn't quite understand what I am going through and a bit frustrated that I am at home and not getting anything achieved while he is out working. He also thinks it will be better if I keep busy, but I'm not ready for that yet.
Oh well, I reckon I will be able to pull my weight in a few more days (albeit not as efficiently as either of us would like).
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 205
I am glad to hear your husband is working. That must be a relief for both of you. I don't blame you for not feeling comfortable around power tools at this shaky stage.You are doing great and it sounds like you are over the hump of theworst of the physical withdrawal.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,097
Day 4 done and dusted!
I confess that there were a couple of moments that cravings were a bit tempting, but got through them with reading my threads and a few of my favourite threads - and eating jelly beans.
I spent some time thinking about the timing of the AV voice to work out a few of the extra triggers for me so I can be ready for them. It was kind of interesting and not sure if it is real, but the strongest ones were when the trades people left and I had the house to myself again. I am not lonely and love time to myself, but it was almost like I could drink and no one would know (I used to mostly drink when on my own). The other one was when hubby came home from work and poured himself a drink.
I used all the info I've gained from SR and my past effort to just take it one minute at a time and do something to keep me busy. Both those strongest desires vanished in less than 10 minutes.
So now onto day 5 - yay. If I can get through this next day, I think I am over the risk of seizures.
I'm feeling heaps better so going to get a bit more done tomorrow. Might even progress the deck building if the shakes subside a little more.
I confess that there were a couple of moments that cravings were a bit tempting, but got through them with reading my threads and a few of my favourite threads - and eating jelly beans.
I spent some time thinking about the timing of the AV voice to work out a few of the extra triggers for me so I can be ready for them. It was kind of interesting and not sure if it is real, but the strongest ones were when the trades people left and I had the house to myself again. I am not lonely and love time to myself, but it was almost like I could drink and no one would know (I used to mostly drink when on my own). The other one was when hubby came home from work and poured himself a drink.
I used all the info I've gained from SR and my past effort to just take it one minute at a time and do something to keep me busy. Both those strongest desires vanished in less than 10 minutes.
So now onto day 5 - yay. If I can get through this next day, I think I am over the risk of seizures.
I'm feeling heaps better so going to get a bit more done tomorrow. Might even progress the deck building if the shakes subside a little more.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,097
Originally Posted by fini 
" it was almost like I could drink and no one would know "
you are not no one, Coz.
you are not no one, Coz.
So true - and I am embarking on this recovery for me (mostly). Definitely something to add to my thinking when AV is tempting me.
Thanks SR for being here.
You're doing it, Coz. The misery will end, & you never have to return to it.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,097
Day 6. I'm doing OK, but very highly strung and emotional - but only about really little things.
The formatting issues on SR rattled me this morning. It is my safe place and security blanket and it was not the same as before. I couldn't read the formatting update post at all, can't see any "thank yous" and feeling insecure. Not being able to find my glasses (which I don't really need) but me in tears. Lots of other little things were setting me off.
But a burst water pipe and having to turn off the water hasn't bothered me at all.
I think I'm going nuts.
I am feeling physically heaps better, just not sleeping well, a headache, crappy skin and red eyes. I know all these will fix themselves over time. It's just the emotional stuff that is not usually me.
I think it is time to put on some happy music and go outside to work on the deck for the day, or at least until I make a mistake and break-down.
The formatting issues on SR rattled me this morning. It is my safe place and security blanket and it was not the same as before. I couldn't read the formatting update post at all, can't see any "thank yous" and feeling insecure. Not being able to find my glasses (which I don't really need) but me in tears. Lots of other little things were setting me off.
But a burst water pipe and having to turn off the water hasn't bothered me at all.
I think I'm going nuts.
I am feeling physically heaps better, just not sleeping well, a headache, crappy skin and red eyes. I know all these will fix themselves over time. It's just the emotional stuff that is not usually me.
I think it is time to put on some happy music and go outside to work on the deck for the day, or at least until I make a mistake and break-down.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,384
Hi Coz
the techies have decided to focus on what is the new default style - Classic Next Gen Sober Recovery Desktop - so I recommend using that one.
Its not perfect yet but I think you'll find there's not many problems with it apart from looking different.
I know its different but if past changes are anything to go by, we'll all get used to it
The important thing is the support and help is still here
D
the techies have decided to focus on what is the new default style - Classic Next Gen Sober Recovery Desktop - so I recommend using that one.
Its not perfect yet but I think you'll find there's not many problems with it apart from looking different.
I know its different but if past changes are anything to go by, we'll all get used to it
The important thing is the support and help is still here
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,097
I am nearly at the end of Day 8. Wow is it better than the first week (in withdrawal symptom terms).
I am eating, drinking heaps of water, smiling sometimes, getting a few things done around the house so it is cleaner than it has been been for a long time, I've cut and fitted some of the tricky decking pieces around posts and learnt to use some of the new woodworking tools that I bought to start making furniture (that is going to be a big learning curve for me).
I wan't sure how I could change my recovery plan which failed me after a couple of months earlier this year, but know I need to have something more in place. So my other little success is starting a new thread with some thoughts and steps to work through if I feel like a drink. It might need some modifications still, but I do feel like I have at least something in place to not fall into the 'have a drink' trap again.
I have had many desires to have a drink already, but so far they haven't been too hard to push aside. I do understand that recovery is not linear in the 'getting better' feeling, but so far every day is better than the last. The test will come when the day is not better than the last. Hopefully my plan will see me through those moments.
I know that this is just a bit of a ramble, but I do want to have a record of my thinking and feelings to reflect back on my journey when I need.
Can't thank the SR community enough for such amazing support, encouragement and advice - I truly believe that I would never achieve long-term sobriety without this forum. Thank you so much.......
I am eating, drinking heaps of water, smiling sometimes, getting a few things done around the house so it is cleaner than it has been been for a long time, I've cut and fitted some of the tricky decking pieces around posts and learnt to use some of the new woodworking tools that I bought to start making furniture (that is going to be a big learning curve for me).
I wan't sure how I could change my recovery plan which failed me after a couple of months earlier this year, but know I need to have something more in place. So my other little success is starting a new thread with some thoughts and steps to work through if I feel like a drink. It might need some modifications still, but I do feel like I have at least something in place to not fall into the 'have a drink' trap again.
I have had many desires to have a drink already, but so far they haven't been too hard to push aside. I do understand that recovery is not linear in the 'getting better' feeling, but so far every day is better than the last. The test will come when the day is not better than the last. Hopefully my plan will see me through those moments.
I know that this is just a bit of a ramble, but I do want to have a record of my thinking and feelings to reflect back on my journey when I need.
Can't thank the SR community enough for such amazing support, encouragement and advice - I truly believe that I would never achieve long-term sobriety without this forum. Thank you so much.......
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,097
Three weeks sober today!
I really want to make this sobriety stick forever this time and not ever repeat those days of vodka from breakfast through to lunch (no food required - enough satiation in the drinks), then wine until bedtime (usually crashed out on the lounge rather than making it to bed). Finding any excuse to drink meant not performing at work or around the house, ruining relationships, feeling guilty and ashamed, not able to leave the house as embarrassed to let anyone see me and thinking back, there wasn't a skerrick of enjoyment in living like that.
I just re-read my threads and I sure don't ever want to have any more day 1's or week 1's.
I am feeling pretty good at 3 weeks and dealing with minor life challenges OK (albeit a bit on the grumpy and/or over-emotional spectrum). I am finding that resigning from work was a good thing for me. I have more time on SR which is the most valuable support tool I have - something I didn't have time for while I was working. I gave up a good job to make this recovery work (combined with starting to drink again and could see the quality of my work diminishing) so I have significantly invested in making sobriety work for me.
The purpose of this post is mostly for me. I have found it really useful to read back through my thoughts as I continue on this life-changing journey and will continue to reflect back from time to time, and most definitely if I ever think I want, or can have, a drink or two.
But for anyone reading - my SR friends and family are wonderful. My sincerest thanks to all that have helped me get this far since I discovered this forum early this year.
. .
I really want to make this sobriety stick forever this time and not ever repeat those days of vodka from breakfast through to lunch (no food required - enough satiation in the drinks), then wine until bedtime (usually crashed out on the lounge rather than making it to bed). Finding any excuse to drink meant not performing at work or around the house, ruining relationships, feeling guilty and ashamed, not able to leave the house as embarrassed to let anyone see me and thinking back, there wasn't a skerrick of enjoyment in living like that.
I just re-read my threads and I sure don't ever want to have any more day 1's or week 1's.
I am feeling pretty good at 3 weeks and dealing with minor life challenges OK (albeit a bit on the grumpy and/or over-emotional spectrum). I am finding that resigning from work was a good thing for me. I have more time on SR which is the most valuable support tool I have - something I didn't have time for while I was working. I gave up a good job to make this recovery work (combined with starting to drink again and could see the quality of my work diminishing) so I have significantly invested in making sobriety work for me.
The purpose of this post is mostly for me. I have found it really useful to read back through my thoughts as I continue on this life-changing journey and will continue to reflect back from time to time, and most definitely if I ever think I want, or can have, a drink or two.
But for anyone reading - my SR friends and family are wonderful. My sincerest thanks to all that have helped me get this far since I discovered this forum early this year.
. .
Member
Join Date: Jan 2019
Posts: 964
Coz-you are a strong person; your words have gotten me through my Day 1 (which I was on for 365 days). We all understand.
I drank over job stress (always): performance anxiety and fear of failure. Then, as you know, I lost my job because I drank.
All I know is getting through Day 1 is the hardest but most rewarding (24 hours is all you need). I'm no one to lecture but all I can say is I understand the trap: the desire to drink; it's chemical fix; and the betrayal. Ultimately, drinking will betray you and all of us.
Thinking of you today. Keep posting no matter what happens.
I drank over job stress (always): performance anxiety and fear of failure. Then, as you know, I lost my job because I drank.
All I know is getting through Day 1 is the hardest but most rewarding (24 hours is all you need). I'm no one to lecture but all I can say is I understand the trap: the desire to drink; it's chemical fix; and the betrayal. Ultimately, drinking will betray you and all of us.
Thinking of you today. Keep posting no matter what happens.
Free.
Join Date: Apr 2020
Location: Saskatchewan.
Posts: 2,965
Congrats Coz!
Three weeks is great!
I find that each day further from the drink: my heart grows a bit. I become less frantic and more relaxed. My life has gone from turbulent to peaceful. I feel calm.......hopeful.
I wish this and more for you.
Keep striving toward goodness. You deserve to smile, sigh, and breathe.
Best to you.
Three weeks is great!
I find that each day further from the drink: my heart grows a bit. I become less frantic and more relaxed. My life has gone from turbulent to peaceful. I feel calm.......hopeful.
I wish this and more for you.
Keep striving toward goodness. You deserve to smile, sigh, and breathe.
Best to you.
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