Day 1 again - maybe?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,097
Thank you so much for your posts Listae, Dee, Orchid, Tired Carpenter and Bilbao.
I feel supported and encouraged to know that I am not alone, and your acknowledgement of my achievement so far is so welcomed - the early stage or recovery is not easy.
I am sure that I will never get a "congratulations" or "well done" from anyone that hasn't experienced addiction.
I feel supported and encouraged to know that I am not alone, and your acknowledgement of my achievement so far is so welcomed - the early stage or recovery is not easy.
I am sure that I will never get a "congratulations" or "well done" from anyone that hasn't experienced addiction.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,097
One month sober today. That is half way to where I was earlier in the year when I blew all my hard work.
My complaints are pretty minor at the moment. I am still finding sleep a challenge - averaging about 5 hours a night which is getting me through, but I am tired and would really like to be able to get another hour or two each night. My brain is also remaining a bit foggy and I'm pretty forgetful and find it hard to concentrate for any length of time. Emotions are up and down - I like to up ones, but need to learn how to manage the down ones better. On the positive, I am feeling so much healthier and getting so much more done around the house.
I'm feeling pretty good about success in forever-sobriety, but I also still have many moments when a drink 'would be nice' and I remember the overwhelming 'need for a drink' that came over me in early April at the two month milestone. So I'm spending a bit of time working on what more I can do to not fall into that trap again.
Over the next month, I hope to work on discovering who I am. I have rarely left the house the last month and feeling a bit agoraphobic. I do want to venture out into the world at some stage and hoping to do some volunteer work with the landcare group here and also at the Council nursery. Other big and challenging task for the next month is to give up smoking - it surely can't be as hard as giving up drinking (she says hopefully).
Onward and upward - it will get even better.
My complaints are pretty minor at the moment. I am still finding sleep a challenge - averaging about 5 hours a night which is getting me through, but I am tired and would really like to be able to get another hour or two each night. My brain is also remaining a bit foggy and I'm pretty forgetful and find it hard to concentrate for any length of time. Emotions are up and down - I like to up ones, but need to learn how to manage the down ones better. On the positive, I am feeling so much healthier and getting so much more done around the house.
I'm feeling pretty good about success in forever-sobriety, but I also still have many moments when a drink 'would be nice' and I remember the overwhelming 'need for a drink' that came over me in early April at the two month milestone. So I'm spending a bit of time working on what more I can do to not fall into that trap again.
Over the next month, I hope to work on discovering who I am. I have rarely left the house the last month and feeling a bit agoraphobic. I do want to venture out into the world at some stage and hoping to do some volunteer work with the landcare group here and also at the Council nursery. Other big and challenging task for the next month is to give up smoking - it surely can't be as hard as giving up drinking (she says hopefully).
Onward and upward - it will get even better.
Free.
Join Date: Apr 2020
Location: Saskatchewan.
Posts: 2,971
Well done!
It looks like you are worried about what will happen around the 2 month mark. Don’t. You’ll be fine.
This is a different ‘sobriety’ than the previous.
Smoking; Easiest thing I’ve ever quit. Day three was {invent a new word here, TC, to trump horrible,terrible, etc...**
for cravings. After day three, no problem. [Day three cravings: at one point I found myself hollering into cupped hands.] Each Craving, for me, lasted a bit under 7min. Get through a few of those and you’re home free.
Be well.
It looks like you are worried about what will happen around the 2 month mark. Don’t. You’ll be fine.
This is a different ‘sobriety’ than the previous.
Smoking; Easiest thing I’ve ever quit. Day three was {invent a new word here, TC, to trump horrible,terrible, etc...**
for cravings. After day three, no problem. [Day three cravings: at one point I found myself hollering into cupped hands.] Each Craving, for me, lasted a bit under 7min. Get through a few of those and you’re home free.
Be well.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,097
Thank you all for your words of congrats! I really appreciate the encouragement.
TC - yes, I do think a lot about the all-consuming craving that got me last time. I probably think too much all the time about thee maybe's, but I also like to risk-manage (too much time spent project managing and trying to do the same with my recovery effort).
So during my sleepless night, I tried to give my artistic/creative right side of my brain a go (I am a very left brain type of person) and wrote a poem:
You're lurking out there somewhere
The voice I cannot see
Waiting for that moment
To try and challenge me
I've made poor past decisions
Used drinking as my crutch
Ruined health and valued friendships
For this I've paid so much
But I am going to change my life
Fighting though the sick and sad
Learning to be sober me
Away from the druunken life I had
The first few days and weeks to follow
Get harder every try
So voice, when you next call to me
I will fight and ask you why
There is a better life out there
It's one I want to know
Voice don't try to temp me
I will only tell you NO
TC - yes, I do think a lot about the all-consuming craving that got me last time. I probably think too much all the time about thee maybe's, but I also like to risk-manage (too much time spent project managing and trying to do the same with my recovery effort).
So during my sleepless night, I tried to give my artistic/creative right side of my brain a go (I am a very left brain type of person) and wrote a poem:
You're lurking out there somewhere
The voice I cannot see
Waiting for that moment
To try and challenge me
I've made poor past decisions
Used drinking as my crutch
Ruined health and valued friendships
For this I've paid so much
But I am going to change my life
Fighting though the sick and sad
Learning to be sober me
Away from the druunken life I had
The first few days and weeks to follow
Get harder every try
So voice, when you next call to me
I will fight and ask you why
There is a better life out there
It's one I want to know
Voice don't try to temp me
I will only tell you NO
Free.
Join Date: Apr 2020
Location: Saskatchewan.
Posts: 2,971
Awesome, Coz:
I really like the last stanza (verse(?)). Yes, when THAT voice calls, best to hang up on it.
Your right-brain endeavour turned out well.
I’m also very left-brained. Technical manuals and math are my thing.
I get the risk-manage thing, it’s become a part of who you are. I see the safety risk in every thing. Too many morning ‘tailgate’ safety meetings over the years. “I’m not paranoid: I’m safety informed!!”
I think you’ve grown a bunch since your slip. You’ll be heading into it with a greater perspective, but ,yes,I understand your concern. If there is a cycle that is not apparent that can surprise is with some chaos.
My recent struggles, I’m just seeing now, are related to a cycle that I don’t understand as of yet. My tools got me through though.
Be well.
I really like the last stanza (verse(?)). Yes, when THAT voice calls, best to hang up on it.
Your right-brain endeavour turned out well.
I’m also very left-brained. Technical manuals and math are my thing.
I get the risk-manage thing, it’s become a part of who you are. I see the safety risk in every thing. Too many morning ‘tailgate’ safety meetings over the years. “I’m not paranoid: I’m safety informed!!”
I think you’ve grown a bunch since your slip. You’ll be heading into it with a greater perspective, but ,yes,I understand your concern. If there is a cycle that is not apparent that can surprise is with some chaos.
My recent struggles, I’m just seeing now, are related to a cycle that I don’t understand as of yet. My tools got me through though.
Be well.
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