Suggestions please for books
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Hi Sasha
I think the Tolle book is The Power of Now, yes.
Jon Kabat Zinn is always a good read. His most famous book is probably
Wherever You Go, There You Are
He has some other books that are in my reading queue like Falling Awake: How to Practice Mindfulness in Everyday Life
and Meditation Is Not What You Think: Mindfulness and Why It Is So Important
One book I would like to read is Resilience: Powerful Practices for Bouncing Back from Disappointment, Difficulty, and Even Disaster By Linda Graham
The latest must read book seems to be The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*** | by Mark Manson
for a fictional read I recommend Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah by Richard Bach.
Its message is everything will be ok in the end and I think a lot of us need that reassurance right now
take care Sasha - remember you're not alone - we're here to help
D
I think the Tolle book is The Power of Now, yes.
Jon Kabat Zinn is always a good read. His most famous book is probably
Wherever You Go, There You Are
He has some other books that are in my reading queue like Falling Awake: How to Practice Mindfulness in Everyday Life
and Meditation Is Not What You Think: Mindfulness and Why It Is So Important
One book I would like to read is Resilience: Powerful Practices for Bouncing Back from Disappointment, Difficulty, and Even Disaster By Linda Graham
The latest must read book seems to be The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*** | by Mark Manson
for a fictional read I recommend Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah by Richard Bach.
Its message is everything will be ok in the end and I think a lot of us need that reassurance right now
take care Sasha - remember you're not alone - we're here to help
D
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 1,327
Originally Posted by Sasha4 
Thanks
I am off booze as you put it.
Ive been off booze for 8 years.
Yes I think thats the book I was thinking of.
I am off booze as you put it.
Ive been off booze for 8 years.
Yes I think thats the book I was thinking of.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 2,937
I feel awful Dee.
My point about things being financially tight was not wanting a book for free.
I just wanted to make sure I bought the right book.
The one that everyone talks about on here that has helped them.
I'm sorry but I cannot find a solution to what how I feel.
These thoughts have been circulating in my head for over 10 years.
Ive had enough of them.
I stopped drinking 8 years ago.
I go to AA when I can.
I meditate.
When everyone talks about self care, me stopping drinking was the biggest act of self care that I could make.
But the reward?
This misery.
This isolation.
This constant torment of memories.
What makes it worst is I have an amazing memory.
I never forget.
I am known for having memories from my childhood when I was really young.
At the moment it does not feel like a good thing to have.
It's a mental affliction.
I hate it.
What we are going through now does not help.
Isolation does not help.
I know that.
But my thoughts are the same as when I was in my 30"s. Thats 17 years of it and I am exhausted.
They never change ever.
The same thing from the moment I wake up to when I go to sleep.
Will I be sat in my rocking chair at the age of 88 still torturing myself?
Because that is no life.
If thats how it will be then no, I don't want that.
Why can I not figure this out?
Why can I not find a solution?
Does anyone else do this?
For crying out loud, yes I drank. Yes i made a complete idiot of myself. The hazy memories I have, please God don't let them be true.
I'm just so tired of all this.
My point about things being financially tight was not wanting a book for free.
I just wanted to make sure I bought the right book.
The one that everyone talks about on here that has helped them.
I'm sorry but I cannot find a solution to what how I feel.
These thoughts have been circulating in my head for over 10 years.
Ive had enough of them.
I stopped drinking 8 years ago.
I go to AA when I can.
I meditate.
When everyone talks about self care, me stopping drinking was the biggest act of self care that I could make.
But the reward?
This misery.
This isolation.
This constant torment of memories.
What makes it worst is I have an amazing memory.
I never forget.
I am known for having memories from my childhood when I was really young.
At the moment it does not feel like a good thing to have.
It's a mental affliction.
I hate it.
What we are going through now does not help.
Isolation does not help.
I know that.
But my thoughts are the same as when I was in my 30"s. Thats 17 years of it and I am exhausted.
They never change ever.
The same thing from the moment I wake up to when I go to sleep.
Will I be sat in my rocking chair at the age of 88 still torturing myself?
Because that is no life.
If thats how it will be then no, I don't want that.
Why can I not figure this out?
Why can I not find a solution?
Does anyone else do this?
For crying out loud, yes I drank. Yes i made a complete idiot of myself. The hazy memories I have, please God don't let them be true.
I'm just so tired of all this.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
I'm sorry you're in such pain Sasha. The current world situation can't help matters much either, I'm guessing.
All I can tell you is you don't deserve the pain you're in. I believe the trauma we carry around for years really can be worked through and set down.
I know it will be hard to access therapy help right now, but maybe it's time to start the ball rolling?
17 years is a long time to be carrying around things that cause you pain.
I hope you find some respite and peace you deserve it
D
All I can tell you is you don't deserve the pain you're in. I believe the trauma we carry around for years really can be worked through and set down.
I know it will be hard to access therapy help right now, but maybe it's time to start the ball rolling?
17 years is a long time to be carrying around things that cause you pain.
I hope you find some respite and peace you deserve it
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 2,937
ter.
The concern I have is that how I feel cannot be made better.
Every effort I have so far made has failed.
"It" has not responded to any therapy before.
It's worse because I only have myself to blame for my own stupidity.
This is all my making.
I ruined my own life.
The way my mind is built is wrong.
Every effort I have so far made has failed.
"It" has not responded to any therapy before.
It's worse because I only have myself to blame for my own stupidity.
This is all my making.
I ruined my own life.
The way my mind is built is wrong.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
I think you're better to try and see, rather than not try at all and stay as you are?
I'm speaking a little from experience here - I had a lot of trauma I was carrying around - stopping drinking and drugging was a major help but it didn't actually deal with the trauma and the self image.
That took hard work, a little courage to face my past , a little faith that I'd end up some place better and not worse, and a little help from counselling professionals, but I'm the happiest I've ever been now.
I think you're every bit as brave and capable as anyone else here,
Think about it anyway - I believe this is a better life for you in your future Sasha.
you're not alone on this journey - we're all with you
I'm speaking a little from experience here - I had a lot of trauma I was carrying around - stopping drinking and drugging was a major help but it didn't actually deal with the trauma and the self image.
That took hard work, a little courage to face my past , a little faith that I'd end up some place better and not worse, and a little help from counselling professionals, but I'm the happiest I've ever been now.
I think you're every bit as brave and capable as anyone else here,
Think about it anyway - I believe this is a better life for you in your future Sasha.
you're not alone on this journey - we're all with you
Member
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 2,909
The way my mind is built is wrong.
Books that helped me are any by Thich Nhat Hanh, Jon Kabat-Zinn, and Dan Millman. Other good books are, I Had It All the Time by Alan Cohen and Stand Like Mountain Flow Like Water by Brian Luke Seaward and the Little book of Letting go by Hugh Prather. Two good works of fiction with insights are Breakfast with Buddha by Roland Merullo and Surfing the Himalayas by Frederick Lenz. A great memoir is Turtle Feet by Nikolai Grpozni.
I could go on and on listing because there are so many good ones out there. The only thing that is more powerful than the mind is the quiet. That is where the soul resides and teaches. Reading quietens my mind and opens the door to learning.
Leave your front door and your back door open. Allow your thoughts to come and go. Just don't serve them tea. Shunryu Suzuki
Member
Join Date: Mar 2019
Posts: 519
The Power of Now saved my life, seriously. It opened me up to become willing and ready to take my next steps into recovery. This is by Eckhart Tolle.
-The Surrender Expirement - Michael Singer
-When Things Fall Apart - Pema Chodron
-A New Earth - Eckhart Tolle
All of my faves.
-The Surrender Expirement - Michael Singer
-When Things Fall Apart - Pema Chodron
-A New Earth - Eckhart Tolle
All of my faves.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,513
Thanks for the great suggestions everybody. I have added them to our Book List:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ependence.html (Books on Recovery, Spirituality & Codependence)
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ependence.html (Books on Recovery, Spirituality & Codependence)
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 1,327
Originally Posted by TimeNeedsTime
Gabor Mate. In The Realm Of Hungry Ghosts.
A world leader in all things addiction.
A world leader in all things addiction.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2020
Posts: 4
Originally Posted by Sasha4
I feel awful Dee.
My point about things being financially tight was not wanting a book for free.
I just wanted to make sure I bought the right book.
The one that everyone talks about on here that has helped them.
I'm sorry but I cannot find a solution to what how I feel.
These thoughts have been circulating in my head for over 10 years.
Ive had enough of them.
I stopped drinking 8 years ago.
I go to AA when I can.
I meditate.
When everyone talks about self care, me stopping drinking was the biggest act of self care that I could make.
But the reward?
This misery.
This isolation.
This constant torment of memories.
What makes it worst is I have an amazing memory.
I never forget.
I am known for having memories from my childhood when I was really young.
At the moment it does not feel like a good thing to have.
It's a mental affliction.
I hate it.
What we are going through now does not help.
Isolation does not help.
I know that.
But my thoughts are the same as when I was in my 30"s. Thats 17 years of it and I am exhausted.
They never change ever.
The same thing from the moment I wake up to when I go to sleep.
Will I be sat in my rocking chair at the age of 88 still torturing myself?
Because that is no life.
If thats how it will be then no, I don't want that.
Why can I not figure this out?
Why can I not find a solution?
Does anyone else do this?
For crying out loud, yes I drank. Yes i made a complete idiot of myself. The hazy memories I have, please God don't let them be true.
I'm just so tired of all this.
My point about things being financially tight was not wanting a book for free.
I just wanted to make sure I bought the right book.
The one that everyone talks about on here that has helped them.
I'm sorry but I cannot find a solution to what how I feel.
These thoughts have been circulating in my head for over 10 years.
Ive had enough of them.
I stopped drinking 8 years ago.
I go to AA when I can.
I meditate.
When everyone talks about self care, me stopping drinking was the biggest act of self care that I could make.
But the reward?
This misery.
This isolation.
This constant torment of memories.
What makes it worst is I have an amazing memory.
I never forget.
I am known for having memories from my childhood when I was really young.
At the moment it does not feel like a good thing to have.
It's a mental affliction.
I hate it.
What we are going through now does not help.
Isolation does not help.
I know that.
But my thoughts are the same as when I was in my 30"s. Thats 17 years of it and I am exhausted.
They never change ever.
The same thing from the moment I wake up to when I go to sleep.
Will I be sat in my rocking chair at the age of 88 still torturing myself?
Because that is no life.
If thats how it will be then no, I don't want that.
Why can I not figure this out?
Why can I not find a solution?
Does anyone else do this?
For crying out loud, yes I drank. Yes i made a complete idiot of myself. The hazy memories I have, please God don't let them be true.
I'm just so tired of all this.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2020
Posts: 3
Originally Posted by Sasha4
Dear SR family
My mind now tortures me 24 hours a day.
Even when I am sleep.
It tortures me over things I did non the past.
Most were embarrassing things at work.
I cannot carry on like this.
It's making me ill.
Please can anyone suggest the best book I could read to help me stop doing this.
Many thanks
My mind now tortures me 24 hours a day.
Even when I am sleep.
It tortures me over things I did non the past.
Most were embarrassing things at work.
I cannot carry on like this.
It's making me ill.
Please can anyone suggest the best book I could read to help me stop doing this.
Many thanks
Maybe DBT could help you.
Source: rawpixel.com
Dialectical behavior therapy, or DBT, is a type of psychotherapy that teaches group skills to help people learn, and utilize the skills and strategies that they need to create a life that they will be able to experience and live with. It was developed by Marsha Lineman, who used it initially for those who had BPD, and it now can be used for a majority of the population for other disorders. Essentially, the therapy gives the person new skills that the person can use to help with managing emotions that are painful, and decrease relationship conflicts in a person.
Four key elements are focused on in DBT, and they are as follows:
- Mindfulness, which focuses on improving the ability to accept and be present within the moment
- Distress tolerance: this is geared towards increasing the tolerance for negative emotion, rather than trying to escape this
- Emotional regulation: a means and strategy used to manage and change the emotions that are super intense and creating a problem in a person's life
- Interpersonal effectiveness: techniques that allow someone to communicate with others in a way that's assertive, allows for self-respect to be maintained, and strengthen the relationship of a person
When Is DBT Used?
It was originally used to treat borderline personality disorder. But, it can help treat those that experience depression, binge-eating, bulimia, PTSD, bipolar disorder, or even any form of substance abuse. DBT skills are thought to help those improve and regulate their emotions, allowing for more tolerance of distress and negative emotion, allowing the person to be mindful and present within the moment, improving communication, and the ability to interact with others betterhttps://www.betterhelp.com/advice/th...arn-from-this/
Last edited by Dee74; 04-04-2020 at 06:44 PM. Reason: added text source
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 2,937
I'm still here yes.
Thanks Dee for looking out for me,
Thanks for the book recommendations.
I have to sort out this jumble of feelings and shame.
I hope everyone is staying safe.
Love to you all
Xx
Thanks Dee for looking out for me,
Thanks for the book recommendations.
I have to sort out this jumble of feelings and shame.
I hope everyone is staying safe.
Love to you all
Xx
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