ThatWasTheOldMe

How do people do this when they struggle with depression or some other mental illness?

thomas11

I've always thought that me we must get right with ourselves before we can get right with others. As I'm sure you know, not always easy. I take medication, I'm seeing a professional, and taking a mental inventory constantly. With this help me get a job, no idea. But I think perceptive people c an tell when something isn't right. Have you thought about medication or professional counseling?

ThatWasTheOldMe

All of those things cost money and the longer you're out of a career working odd jobs just to get by, the worst off you are.

Dee74

I don't have much in the way of experience Chris. What kind of jobs are you looking for, or applied for?

D

ThatWasTheOldMe

To be honest with you, I think I just messed up my brain so much with alcoholism that I'm terrible at interviewing now. So I've had a lot of anxiety about sending any resumes / applications out.

And if that is the case, I will likely just accept my fate.

listae

I'm in the same position. Don't give up.

Anna

Do you know anyone who might be able to offer you a job, maybe a friend of a friend kind of thing. Try to think of any family member, relative, acquaintance, neighbor who could offer something. I know job-hunting is tough and interviews are hard, but I hope you can find something.

ThatWasTheOldMe

I screwed up one by drinking, but I was a good employee otherwise.
And in all honesty, I probably would have been "laid off" from there anyways due to several factors like nepotism, company culture (they are very conservative and they can tell I am... not), my lack of desire to shoot the **** with people like they're my best friends when I merely put up with them to get a paycheck, etc.

Also, I tend to be self-destructive when I'm drunk, so I would send really stupid text messages to coworkers - and my boss there knows I'm an alcoholic.

I'm still technically employed there but on work attached unemployment. I just hope that if I use him as a reference, he will give me a good word. I don't really trust him enough to take his word for it.

And don't get me wrong here, I'm not trying to downplay anything. I blame myself and my alcoholism for me not having a career.

Cityboy

I can tell you that a lot of managers would give a pinky finger for a halfway decent person to help them out. That being said, they have all had so many bad experiences that it makes them cautious about potential new people. It goes a very long way with me, on the extremely rare occasion that I interview, if someone makes it clear that they want to be productive and dependable, and to solve whatever problems arise. Most just sit there and don't say a word.

Dee74

Every time I thought 'oh well this is the best its gonna get' - be it recovery, brain function, relationships, career or vocation - it always got better.

I know it might seem a long time since you got sober Chris but it does take time for mind and body to heal...

I really think you can expect to see some more improvements, in time and with continued abstinence

Try not to abandon yourself to those negative spirals of thought we can all fall into.

RecklessDrunk

I'm terrible at it and I struggled horribly.

I went through so many interviews and even for some of the jobs I didn't get I wasnt sure if I plain old messed up the interview or somebody else just was better.

The good news is, at least for the near future you only have to land one interview. All the ones that dont lead to jobs are just more practice. This process only has to go right one time. Keep interviewing, let it get to become more and more routine. Increase the odds of that one interview where you meet just the right boss on the right day. Never give up.

ThatWasTheOldMe

Dee,
I've been drinking off and on since early January when I lost my job and had some very uncomfortable situations at my AA meeting.

I only post on here when I'm sober.
Today is day 4 going on day 5.

Like I said, I'm beginning to think it's my fate unless I just get lucky with a job interview.

If my car breaks down, I'm done.

DontRemember

For me nowadays.. a job interview or car trouble would have absolutely zero to do with whether I drink or not.
​​​​​​
i had to take 'control' of my life and accept the plain/simple fact that I'd not ever drink no matter the circumstances.

​personal accountability and ownership were key factors in my recovery.

ThatWasTheOldMe

That's cool.
I'm happy you were able to do that for yourself.

ThatWasTheOldMe

If I drink again, it will be for the courage to say my good byes because nothing else worked out. I'll be in a situation where I'm ready at a moment's notice to go through with it and can't be found quick enough to stop me.

Just not sure if I could do that to my dad. Though he has friends for support. I don't have any close friends for good reason.

I'm not living a life where I'm either homeless or just mooching off my dad. I suppose I could just work a minimum wage job if all else fails. But I'm not doing that until I die.

Steely

Don't say such things ThatWasTheOldMe. Say hello! Take note of your Username.

If you've only been sober 4-5 days your head is not going to be in a good place. Don't be rash, now. Take it easy.

I've had uncomfortable experiences in AA as well, and don't go anymore. Not for that reason alone, but in the end it just didn't gel with. It taught me a lot of things, which still remain, EASY DOES IT, being one. I just come here, now, which works really well for me. But that's just me.

I think advice offered by RecklessDrunk was good. Just keep trying to get interviews, and build your confidence. Don't even think about getting the job, think about practicing interviews.

I don't know how it works in the US, but employment agencies (here) assist people in developing resumes, CV's. Lots of stuff on the net about how to construct them as well.

I hope you land a job soon. And if not, it is not the end of the world. Life goes on without the Boss TWTOM.

Life can be good.

Buttery

BackandScared

Well, I said it on another thread by you...your depression and sad messages are linked to your drinking. You are on the first week again and feeling really low. It is the alcohol messing up with you. when you get a bit of time sober you sound much better.

Nothing will get better until you get this sorted. Everything will get worse in fact. You know it but you keep finding excuses because your AV is stronger and stronger: bad AA experiences/if car breaks down you are done/no job/mental health (all of these, also linked to drinking)

Deeper you dig the hole more difficult is going to be to get out. And yes, you seem to be quite deep in and you will need a lot of effort to progress on your climbing to freedom. Still, digging is lots more effort and it's getting nothing in return for you.

ScottFromWI

I think one of the first steps is dealing with the mental illness. And prior to that addressing your drinking. Sort of like building a house - you can't put the roof on until you build the walls, which can't be done until you build the foundation.

I have been through several career/job changes in the past 3-4 years due to several factors beyond my control, and there is no possible way I could have navigated them if I would still have been drinking. I'm also pretty certain that there's no way I would have made it through if I had not actively addressed my mental health issues with a professional after I quit drinking.

So yeah, IMHO you need to start at the beginning.

Regarding the job search itself, I also learned pretty quickly that just firing off a bunch of resumes ( even good/professional ones ) is not an effective strategy. Anyone can do that these days. Networking and accessing employment resources is almost mandatory these days. By employment resources, I mean things like commercial employment agencies, public job centers ( almost every city has one ), job fairs, etc. There is a shortage both skilled and knowledge workers just about everywhere these days. Dont' rule out additional education either - there are a ton of resources these days for people to secure loans/grants/scholarships to learn new skills, and many times these are employer funded to help train new workers.

Lastly, you mention fate a lot in this thread. I'm a personal believer that you get to choose your fate in most cases. Certainly we could all be hit by a truck out of the blue or struck by lighting in a freak occurrence. But things like quitting drinking and finding a job are much more dependent on our choices.

Nathan57

Don't make it harder than it is. Figure out where you want to work. Dress UP. Look Nice. Make it easy to be hired. That is he biggest thing - make it easy for the hiring manager to hire you. Look Clean, Attractive, know your stuff. Ain't that hard.