Promises to your self vs. reality
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Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 184
I think this brings up something I've been thinking of. If you're a problem drinker, they say you have to prove to others you're reliable, which of course you have to. But maybe more important is building confidence in yourself that you won't be your own worst enemy?
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Originally Posted by biminiblue 
crazychef...I'm not at all sure what you're saying.
I used to be able to follow your thinking, but not this post.
I hope you make the decision soon. I don't feel like it IS a process. It is a decision. No fence sitting.
Drinking or not, no in-between: and that's how I addressed it. Never again, no bargaining.
I haven't let myself down.
I used to be able to follow your thinking, but not this post.
I hope you make the decision soon. I don't feel like it IS a process. It is a decision. No fence sitting.
Drinking or not, no in-between: and that's how I addressed it. Never again, no bargaining.
I haven't let myself down.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2019
Location: Las Vegas, NV
Posts: 580
Originally Posted by ScottFromWI
* I accept that something is different about me that will not allow me to drink alcohol in a responsible manner, ever. I will always return to everyday binge drinking eventually.
* What ever it is that is different about me can never be changed.
* What ever it is that is different about me can never be changed.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: Lost in the Caribbean
Posts: 73
Originally Posted by August252015
Hey Chef- I popped back in because I am thinking you've been here awhile and you are the one who's worked on cruise ships? If I'm on the right track - this has been a very drawn out and continued process for you. The decision is still the same as it was, and will be tomorrow.
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,431
Wishing you the best too chef
Your occupation really isn’t conducive to sobriety, is it?
Such temptation would be nearly impossible to resist for me at least.
Have you thought of working elsewhere, or maybe changing up your holiday by doing some volunteer work where you are? A focus shift might be a great help getting a real sober start.
Your occupation really isn’t conducive to sobriety, is it?
Such temptation would be nearly impossible to resist for me at least.
Have you thought of working elsewhere, or maybe changing up your holiday by doing some volunteer work where you are? A focus shift might be a great help getting a real sober start.
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Join Date: Jan 2020
Posts: 1,183
I forget where I heard the quote, but as I read through most of the responses it reminds of someone talking about how they dislike multi-tasking. "Why would I half-a*$ several things when I could whole-a*$ one thing?"
Sobriety is something we have to whole-a*$!
Sobriety is something we have to whole-a*$!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 850
I feel like this post may sound harsh, but it’s not how I mean it at all. But here goes.
It sounds like you think maybe one day you’ll wake up and no longer want to drink? A switch will be flipped and you’ll just be done? I spent a lot of time waiting to grow out of my alcoholism, because things started getting bad when it was still “acceptable” to be partying and drinking as much as I did at my age. (I’ll be 26 this year). I was hoping that eventually, I’d get over my toxic relationship with alcohol and be able to take it or leave it like a normal drinker.
Not the case, unfortunately. I had to make a conscious choice that I was finished, I was never going to drink again, and then do what it took to make that happen. It sounds like your job is really cool. It must be amazing to be able to travel all over the world like that. Unfortunately it’s not conducive to getting sober or staying that way. What if you took those four months you have for vacation and checked into an inpatient rehab? Or signed up for an outpatient program. Get some good sober time under your belt and reevaluate things when you have some clarity?
I wish you the best, dude. I hope you decide to quit and stay quit.
It sounds like you think maybe one day you’ll wake up and no longer want to drink? A switch will be flipped and you’ll just be done? I spent a lot of time waiting to grow out of my alcoholism, because things started getting bad when it was still “acceptable” to be partying and drinking as much as I did at my age. (I’ll be 26 this year). I was hoping that eventually, I’d get over my toxic relationship with alcohol and be able to take it or leave it like a normal drinker.
Not the case, unfortunately. I had to make a conscious choice that I was finished, I was never going to drink again, and then do what it took to make that happen. It sounds like your job is really cool. It must be amazing to be able to travel all over the world like that. Unfortunately it’s not conducive to getting sober or staying that way. What if you took those four months you have for vacation and checked into an inpatient rehab? Or signed up for an outpatient program. Get some good sober time under your belt and reevaluate things when you have some clarity?
I wish you the best, dude. I hope you decide to quit and stay quit.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: Lost in the Caribbean
Posts: 73
Originally Posted by dpac414
I feel like this post may sound harsh, but it’s not how I mean it at all. But here goes.
It sounds like you think maybe one day you’ll wake up and no longer want to drink? A switch will be flipped and you’ll just be done? I spent a lot of time waiting to grow out of my alcoholism, because things started getting bad when it was still “acceptable” to be partying and drinking as much as I did at my age. (I’ll be 26 this year). I was hoping that eventually, I’d get over my toxic relationship with alcohol and be able to take it or leave it like a normal drinker.
Not the case, unfortunately. I had to make a conscious choice that I was finished, I was never going to drink again, and then do what it took to make that happen. It sounds like your job is really cool. It must be amazing to be able to travel all over the world like that. Unfortunately it’s not conducive to getting sober or staying that way. What if you took those four months you have for vacation and checked into an inpatient rehab? Or signed up for an outpatient program. Get some good sober time under your belt and reevaluate things when you have some clarity?
I wish you the best, dude. I hope you decide to quit and stay quit.
It sounds like you think maybe one day you’ll wake up and no longer want to drink? A switch will be flipped and you’ll just be done? I spent a lot of time waiting to grow out of my alcoholism, because things started getting bad when it was still “acceptable” to be partying and drinking as much as I did at my age. (I’ll be 26 this year). I was hoping that eventually, I’d get over my toxic relationship with alcohol and be able to take it or leave it like a normal drinker.
Not the case, unfortunately. I had to make a conscious choice that I was finished, I was never going to drink again, and then do what it took to make that happen. It sounds like your job is really cool. It must be amazing to be able to travel all over the world like that. Unfortunately it’s not conducive to getting sober or staying that way. What if you took those four months you have for vacation and checked into an inpatient rehab? Or signed up for an outpatient program. Get some good sober time under your belt and reevaluate things when you have some clarity?
I wish you the best, dude. I hope you decide to quit and stay quit.
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
I was on a podcast that came out this week. One of the things the host and I talked about started with this sentence: "Chaos is the new cocaine." She heard it and thought it was clever - and it hits on the point that CHAOS is what we live with when drinking or using. We get addicted to the drama, think it's normal or enjoyable even. We also get that irksome feeling that it's...exhausting, unsustainable, stealing from us.
My $0.02 is that I have a more beautiful life than I could have written for myself in any storybook. And every single bit is due to my sobriety.
My $0.02 is that I have a more beautiful life than I could have written for myself in any storybook. And every single bit is due to my sobriety.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: Lost in the Caribbean
Posts: 73
Originally Posted by nez
Did you see any bull sharks in Lake Nicaragua? What did the rum bring to the party that you can't do for yourself?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: Lost in the Caribbean
Posts: 73
Originally Posted by August252015
I was on a podcast that came out this week. One of the things the host and I talked about started with this sentence: "Chaos is the new cocaine." She heard it and thought it was clever - and it hits on the point that CHAOS is what we live with when drinking or using. We get addicted to the drama, think it's normal or enjoyable even. We also get that irksome feeling that it's...exhausting, unsustainable, stealing from us.
My $0.02 is that I have a more beautiful life than I could have written for myself in any storybook. And every single bit is due to my sobriety.
My $0.02 is that I have a more beautiful life than I could have written for myself in any storybook. And every single bit is due to my sobriety.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: Christchurch, NZ
Posts: 517
Originally Posted by crazychef
Is it bad to say, kind of like Chaos, it keeps things interesting
I made a living as a nightclub DJ for a number of years.
Free drinks on the job, take drugs on the job, gorgeous women everywhere ... and at the end of the night, they paid me to do it.
The chaos had me enchanted. I was at the top of my game.
I also sensed at the time, that this couldn't go on forever, one day I hoped I would be able to straighten up and fly right.
Turned out to be more of a tailspin, followed by a crash and burn.
I didn't see that coming, none of us do and nothing anyone said then would have been sufficient to make me change course anyway.
I knew the crash and burn, happened to other people, but hey c'mon ... It's me !! The mighty Derringer.
I'm too smart for that ...stick around, I'll show you how it's done.
Its that same principle that sees guys die doing 100mph on a treacherous stretch of road, the same thing that sees some other guy lose his house, wife and kids over a drunken fling with the young office girl ... I'll be the one that gets away with it.
Hold my drink and watch this.
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Sure, we like it maybe, or we at the minimum get so used to it that it IS our normal. My point tho is that life doesn't have to be like that. In fact, most people aren't like us, alcoholics, or chaos-seekers or find it an acceptable way of life. It seems foreign to give it up but I don't know anyone who's truly wanted to go back to whatever the insanity was in their drinking lives.
Up to you.
Up to you.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,431
Function begins to erode as the years of drinking grind on.
In particular for many is the quality of our work begins to suffer, and we just can’t knock it out as reliably as we once did.
I suspect you are experiencing this chef?
In particular for many is the quality of our work begins to suffer, and we just can’t knock it out as reliably as we once did.
I suspect you are experiencing this chef?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 2,909
the other part loves my chaotic life
Is it bad to say, kind of like Chaos, it keeps things interesting
I have lived a vagabond gypsy lifestyle on boats, mountaintops, beaches as an international chef. I have done over a third of my career and lifestyle in recovery from alcohol and drugs. Getting into recovery didn't change my lifestyle, it just changed me.
I love the lifestyle even more in recovery. I lost nothing, only gained.
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