Promises to your self vs. reality
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
^Yes, I can tell you as the girl 10, 15 or 20 yrs younger than the guys around, when I was newly divorced at 29 and going out - y'all paid for the drinks without us even asking and it was fun. For awhile.
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Salt Lake City, UT
Posts: 1,132
Originally Posted by August252015 
^Yes, I can tell you as the girl 10, 15 or 20 yrs younger than the guys around, when I was newly divorced at 29 and going out - y'all paid for the drinks without us even asking and it was fun. For awhile.
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
HeadEast - do you take venmo?
it was a fascinating period of time in my life - I was divorced, great job, no kids, etc. And I hadn't dated nearly enough before I got married so it was pretty much the world was my oyster for my other single gf. It was interesting how we would happily go out together, particularly to this same place that was very nice and popular at the time, fully prepared to pay for ourselves but typically find that w/o asking that didn't happen.
That eventually turned into even more red wine at home, then vodka, then y'all know the rest of the story. Way more fun to be where I am today. Especially because money spent by my husband or me is for different fun stuff like meals (that we remember) at a fave place. Or expensive jeans that I love.
it was a fascinating period of time in my life - I was divorced, great job, no kids, etc. And I hadn't dated nearly enough before I got married so it was pretty much the world was my oyster for my other single gf. It was interesting how we would happily go out together, particularly to this same place that was very nice and popular at the time, fully prepared to pay for ourselves but typically find that w/o asking that didn't happen.
That eventually turned into even more red wine at home, then vodka, then y'all know the rest of the story. Way more fun to be where I am today. Especially because money spent by my husband or me is for different fun stuff like meals (that we remember) at a fave place. Or expensive jeans that I love.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 2,426
Hi CrazyChef. Welcome to SR. Once you figure out how to actually promise yourself and combine that promise WITH reality instead of VERSUS reality, you will be on a sober road. But wishing you weren't an alcoholic is very different than promising yourself that you will seek and find a sober life for your own sake and the sake of those in your life. Make the promise and give it a shot.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,426
Originally Posted by crazychef
Because I think we are all on the same boat. Don't really want to be here but I'm here. Lost a lot of my things in life to rum and *maybe possibly change it
Prepare to lose a lot more, since in the end, the rum (or cacique guaro, or craft / crap beer, or vintage wine, or aged scotch, or cinnamon schnapps, will take it all).
I think we all try to ignore or out-think this final truth to protect our addiction.
I get it and I wish you well chef.
*"maybe possibly change" sounds like you realize it isn't sustainable--nurture that and we will be here to support you when you are ready give sobriety a real shot.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Boulder, CO
Posts: 419
Great post! I finally decided after countless times relapsing that i needed to put my all into this deadly disease. My unmanagabilities had stacked up to the point that i was barely breathing and participating in life. I work the program of AA (steps & Big Book), pray, meditate, work with a sponsor and try to stay in the middle of boat as they say. Good luck! You're worth it!
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