Katy1

I can't go to any hospital or GP, when I am sober I will tell you all why. But because I can buy 3 days of booze and not drink any more than the 20 units I am going to try the taper, I don't get wasted, maybe a slight Buzz sometimes and I am hoping because I never did this before I won't get paws. So today I am going to drop 25 percent and hold for 3 days then drop 1 unit each day and I am determined that in 2 weeks I will tell you I am alcohol free and I think that is where I will really need support, I hope you don't mind me posting daily. My drinking started with my lovely sons drug addiction, still on going since he was 16, great trauma in his life. The stupid thing is hubby who doesn't like alcohol would often give me a large brandy in the morning when my anxiety was really bad because son was awol and boy did it calm me !!!! But now I have had enough. I have been scrolling different sites for weeks before deciding this was the one for me. Before benzos people have used alcohol to come off alcohol. Seems like failure is a given judging by how many have tried and failed, but always stubborn I will give it a go. Best case scenario is I will do it, or I will reduce and make the benzo route easier or I have to save my life and suffer the consequences of going to GP. Today I did the 15 units no problem but I'm sure that like cold turkey tomorrow I may feel it worse. I must add Wow what a community, I never expected so many responses given that its Xmas day. Thank you all x

Dee74

You gotta do what you think is best Katy - hope it works out. Keep posting

D

Obladi

I think you'll be just fine tomorrow, Katy.
Stay the course.

Does your husband know of your plan?
Is he supportive?

Surrendered19

Definitely keep posting on here and tell us how it is going Katy.

theVman31

Take care Katy.
Hope your son finds a different path.
Vinny

HeadEast

No one here minds if you post daily. Please do.

DontRemember

It took personal accountability for me to get/stay sober.. my teenaged(at the time) daughter was doing some nonsense that I used as an excuse for MY actions.. My now exAgf was also a pretty solid 'reason to drink' to most.. it wasn't until I accepted/owned and worked towards MY goal and life that I found recovery. I give many 'valid' reasons people drink but, at the end of the day it's the individual person who chooses to do so.

MythOfSisyphus

Welcome, Katy! You are not alone.

Katy1

It's 9am and I haven't had a drink for 15 hrs, I feel fine 😀 although I didn't go to sleep until sometime after 3am, I am going to try 13 units today but will always have some extra around in case I have any worrying symptoms. Yes thank you, hubby is supportive although my drinking has taken its toll on our marriage and I don't know if the sober me will want to remain married. Hubby has made a life of his own, my fault I know. I am quite small, only 116 lbs and today I will start eating little and often instead of just little. I so hope I can do this. AUD causes me to hate myself. Thank you for the encouraging words, it really helps x
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Katy1

I went 17hrs without a drink yessssss. Son is home and on a methadone treatment and we have had a nice Xmas, daughter told me I have been much nicer, more like her old mum I am now wondering how much was anxiety and not withdrawal although I am not minimizing withdrawal, it sucks. Over the years my GP would prescribe Diazepam when son was awol and I was a mess, just a strip (14 tablets) 2mg in strength. I haven't seen GP for 8 months so I am going to ask for a script so I can sleep. Does this seem like a good idea ? X

DontRemember

So you haven't had a drink in 17hrs?

Dee74

We can't give you medical advice here, and in any case, none of us really know your medical history or current state of health Katy.

If you have reasons for not wanting to open up to your Dr, that's your business but I think it would be unwise to get a script on the pretext of it being for something else

I really think you should talk to your Dr.

You could also ask about tapering - if they recommend it and not something else.

Ask how long should the taper be, units per day etc.

D

Surrendered19

17 hours without a drink is great Katy. Don't work out taking any meds or trying to obtain any meds without an honest conversation with a medical provider. You don't know the answers to your questions and neither do we. I think if you are 17 hours in and not having initial withdrawal symptoms, you are doing really well. You might not need any meds, but check it out with the docs. I wouldn't give sleep a second worry if I were you. Crap sleep seems to be the one common denominator in the sober world and is one of the last things to return to normal. I don't necessarily think you need to seek meds for that. Just get through it and there in the night, tired but clear headed and calm and with full knowledge that you won't feel like death in the morning, there is peace and contentment and happiness there. Embrace those moments in the wee hours.

AAPJ

Yes this is a good idea. I like the idea because it gets you in front of a medical professional. I am cheering for you to win your battle. Please keep posting.

VinnyMcM

Loved how your daughter said you were already a nicer person. I have been told that as well.

I was an anxiety monster and extremely difficult to be around. Not physically or mentally abusive, just not a person anyone would want to spend time with. Beside the obvious physical withdrawal symptoms being gone, I am most grateful that my anxiety has taken a complete 180. My wife told me I am the old me again. We have spent more time together in the past week than in the entire past 6 months.

Although tapering didn’t work for me and actually made mine worse, I hope it works for you. Everyone here has a different plan and you need to find the right one for you. That being said, if this doesn’t work, please see a doctor. It literally saved my life.

Katy1

Thank you all for caring, I think I have the jistt of what I can and cannot say and don't want to put anyone in an awkward position. Still doing great although zero housework/washing/ironing done, but the twinkle Xmas lights hide a lot. Spending most of my time on the bed but have made healthy food for everyone. I think I am as curious as everyone as to whether this is doable and seems like the sleep issue is normal, its when the festive season is over and I can't lie on the bed I will have problems x

Katy1

Sorry I seem to breaching the rules, I would have been asking them for sleep. I will be very careful what I post. Sorry again

Katy1

No I am amazed, I have had terrible beginnings of alcohol withdrawal in the past when because of circumstances I couldn't have it when I needed it. It made me fear cold turkey big time !! So how much is physical and how much psychological ????? I don't know, the alcohol is tucked away in little 187ML bottles but I can wait, albeit lying on the bed reading until I start to feel yuk. Just going with what body tells me, but also have nothing to be anxious about right now x

Katy1

I have had 10 of my 13 units over the last 8 hrs, starting to feel sleepy but will make evening meal before I have the other 3 then I am sure I will sleep. Don't know for how long ?? Does it matter if my sleep gets messed up and I find myself awake at 2am not able to go back to sleep, I can always do the pile of ironing or should I keep to night and day. Strangely its like I am back in menopause.... hot flashes

Reid82

Welcome to the forum, Katy1. I agree about at least talking to a Doctor about detoxing properly. A lot safer than on your own.