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(thanks)Giving follow up thoughts

Old 12-07-2019, 04:07 PM
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(thanks)Giving follow up thoughts

Howdy all. Haven't posted here in awhile....today it called me: I must write. Some of my inspiration comes from Thanksgiving and spending time with immediate family, cousins, 2nd, 3rd, 4th cousins, adopted family, in-laws.

Well as I knew there would be, there was alcohol being drunk and in abundance there.....BUT....there were also those who were not drinking and that was nice to have..... drew strength from them....the food was awesome....I know I can't cut myself off completely and never be around alcohol and there comes a point in which I have to face the music...triggers will come up...I'm NOT going to join a convent and lock myself up and cut myself off....so, yeah...this time of year can be full of snags...

What could I give; what could I bring to this gathering? What is a gift that can keep on giving long after all the homeade rolls and pies and apple cider has been taken in? What can I give to grand niece, grand cousins 3rd removed...oh....I don't even know if I'v got that right?

So, I armed myself with music, a good appetite and an escape hatch, should I need to leave.

It was truly a varied and delightful day. Before I say anything else about convents....somehow the whole day ended with a presentation by an adopted in law who made a religious (Catholic) pilgrimage through mostly northern Spain on foot. It was HIGHLY interesting...and like I say....it all ended on a good note (not consumed by alcohol) Yeah!

I know this time of year can hard for some folks....alcohol is everywhere...and it is featured, glamorized, promoted....everywhere you look, everywhere you go. on TV, in magazines in cookbooks, novels, social media....it's all there, everywhere. These are times when maybe it's good to just stay home....but short of joining a convent.....what is a person to do? Take in some AA, alAnon, smart recovery meetings, know your triggers...always have an escape hatch...turn to something you enjoy....music, art, hunting, skiing. (although, there is plenty of alcohol promoted on the ski slopes too)

So, at times one may ask: Is there any escape from being around alcohol, aside from joining a convent. And maybe they even drink alcohol at some convents....short of cutting oneself off from society?

Oddly, I didn't feel triggered this year. It was around...but I could see the ones who drank were not having ANY more fun than those who didn't drink...and because I was sober, I could really see that clearly.... I'll leave it on that note...
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Old 12-07-2019, 04:26 PM
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I'm glad you enjoyed your Thanksgiving holiday.
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Old 12-07-2019, 04:29 PM
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Welcome back! Sounds like a good T giving day for you.
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Old 12-07-2019, 04:50 PM
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Belly Busters

Ok...so I think one thing that helped was have natural mirth upon arrival to my cousin's place up near Canada.... didn't have very good directions on how to get there....I had been there about 3 1/2 years ago in the summer....it looked different this time of year....so, we're going up this dirt road in our pickup....our three grown kids are in the back seat and we were trying find this place on this gray day....some of us were VERY hungry by then.... we took one turnoff down this one driveway drove right past the house but it just looked different somehow....got back on the main dirt and continued to drive north-northwest....by this time we were only 5 miles to Canada and the further we drove the more it became apparent we were headed in the WRONG direction as there were just no more places this could have been....

One of the kids started cracking jokes about this whole thing.....then my daughter started laughing and it became like one giant snowball of jokes, laughter....and HUNGER.....with the hunger, the jokes became darker like oh no, we are all so hungry we will become cannibals and start gnawing on each other....

Finally, mercifully, we decided to turn around before we ended up at the customs, which may have been closed, anyway!!I tried calling on my cell...but, guess what? NO RECEPTION!! Okay, what to do? We stopped, put our heads together and decided that the ONLY place it could POSSIBLY be was the one we had passed as there really weren't too many houses, or cabins or places inhabited by humans in the whole area....

By the time we got there, we had been laughing so hard it helped ward off the hunger until such time as we could start gnawing on more suitable food stuffs!!
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Old 12-07-2019, 06:25 PM
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Thanks for sharing that teatreeoil
Glad you had a good Thanksgiving

D
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Old 12-07-2019, 06:45 PM
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Sounds like a wonderful time with your kids getting to the event! You also referenced an escape plan - that always makes me feel better and more in control and I donít usually need to use my plan. Iím glad you had such a nice time!
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Old 12-07-2019, 07:08 PM
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Thx Atlast. Yeah, didn't have to use that escape hatch, but better to be prepared. Now, I had entirely too much homemade pie.....

I don't get to see my kids as much as I'd like to so I tend to forget what delightful sense of humors they have. Sometimes dark, like mine....one of the kids I referenced is my son in law...we were joking we could just drop him off at the cabin,, let him knock on the door, and ask if we had the right place....the dark thing about that is most of them have not even seen my SIL.....so they might run him off with a 12 guage shotgun, which we also joked about as many of them do have guns are serious hunters.......anyway,seriously, they wouldn't do that either......it all worked out fine and there were no obnoxious drunks there or anything like that. I tend to forget that some people can drink- especially at special occasions they don't have a problem with it.

Some of my family know I don't drink anymore and some don't. No one tried to push it on anyone else. It was more about food and just getting to be around family you don't get to see very much. Add to that, I didn't have to cook this year! Whoohoo.
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Old 12-08-2019, 04:40 AM
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Awesome. Really awesome. ✌
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Old 12-08-2019, 01:29 PM
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Thx Recon.

I'm thankful; I'm VERY grateful. I count my blessings and try not to get ahead of myself.

So then, what can I give? What can I contribute? (to any group)

Yes, sometimes we can share our talent...I brought music...which I shared ...and it was special to share it with the youngsters...but at other times, it's a matter of really being present, listening to others, getting to know them better, getting caught up with where they are at in life....I almost just enjoy being in the background and being a good listener better than anything else at these types of gatherings. ....

So many times at family gatherings I/we are expected to perform, to make music....which is good, don't get me wrong...it's a big part of our family tradition....but then I think about the younger generation following up....will they keep the music alive? Hmmmm.

Well, very next morning soon after breakfast guess what the next generation did (cousins)? They spontaneously started making music together...singing the songs they love to sing, not necessarily all the old songs....which is fine...I've told my kids to just play music they enjoy...pick songs they really like and learn to play those songs...in this way I think they are more likely to keep it up...if they had been FORCED to only play all the traditional songs they heard growing up it may have felt like "exercising" more than just making music.

One of my mentors said: You don't really need to practice scales...pick songs you LIKE... and play those songs....scales are boring and repetitious...if you love what you do you will more likely keep doing it....
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Old 12-08-2019, 01:31 PM
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So to add: Alcohol was not necessary at the gathering. It was there....but for the most part, if it wasn't there, it would still have been a good time. I'm thankful I was sober. thx, SR
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