Rock bottom . Again
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2019
Posts: 50
Originally Posted by Tinkerbeau 
Lisalilly i am so sorry you are going through this i have managed to almost ruin my life this weekend too i hope you can sort things out but i truely understand the feeling of complete devastation
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: Boston MA
Posts: 726
Hi,
Get to a that meeting tonight- You will find hope! You will get phone numbers.
You will have support. You can get some things done after the meeting. Show him you are working on yourself. I would let him cool down and let him know you are getting help for YOU> To put your oxygen mask on so you can be there for yourself, him and your daughter.. Emotions are high from him and contradicting words are being said. If you want to put something in writing. Write out your recovery plan what you are willing to do for your recovery and show him that. Try and think positive , do not give up on yourself. It is very much possible to learn and move on from this pain and obtain a happy, healthy sober future.
Get to a that meeting tonight- You will find hope! You will get phone numbers.
You will have support. You can get some things done after the meeting. Show him you are working on yourself. I would let him cool down and let him know you are getting help for YOU> To put your oxygen mask on so you can be there for yourself, him and your daughter.. Emotions are high from him and contradicting words are being said. If you want to put something in writing. Write out your recovery plan what you are willing to do for your recovery and show him that. Try and think positive , do not give up on yourself. It is very much possible to learn and move on from this pain and obtain a happy, healthy sober future.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 1,068
Originally Posted by Lisalily
I was selfish once again
Originally Posted by Lisalily
I have only been to one AA meeting before
“Selfishness, self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles. Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate. Sometimes they hurt us, seemingly without provocation, but we invariably find that at some time in the past we have made decisions based on self which later placed us in a position to be hurt. So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making.”
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 204
I agree with faith823. I think you should go to the meeting. Putting your sobriety first is very important.
Also, I think your husband needs to see you doing something to stop your addiction. He needs to know that you are serious. I pray it doesn't happen, but if he does take it to court, the judge will want to see this as well.
You can do it!
Also, I think your husband needs to see you doing something to stop your addiction. He needs to know that you are serious. I pray it doesn't happen, but if he does take it to court, the judge will want to see this as well.
You can do it!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Salt Lake City, UT
Posts: 1,132
Originally Posted by Lisalily
I said I would do it in a text. He said he was going to talk to a lawyer sometime this week . I don’t know what to do.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 591
Hi Lisa, it’s okay. I’m in the same boat. My husband is ready to leave. Packed his bags tonight. I have a week sober. It maybe best to take some time apart. No we aren’t perfect, but neither are they. Good job on getting into work. Give yourself some sober time, take care of yourself and i agree, don’t sign ANYTHING. Hugs
Member
Join Date: Mar 2019
Posts: 519
I am so sorry you are suffering. This disease sneaks up on us and takes us over very swiftly and quickly.
I think going to a meeting, getting into a program of action will do good. Have you tried before to get involved in a program?
I hope that you pull through, I think you can.
I think going to a meeting, getting into a program of action will do good. Have you tried before to get involved in a program?
I hope that you pull through, I think you can.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2019
Posts: 50
Thank you for all of the support everyone. I have emailed several therapists/counselors and trying to find one that can work with my schedule is really challenging. I didn’t go to the meeting, I will continue to post here and try to find a therapist to talk to.
today was better than yesterday .luckily he is being supportive and hasn’t gotten mad at me today. I hope tomorrow will be even better. I still have a tremendous amount of guilt. Trying to relax and take each minute at a time
today was better than yesterday .luckily he is being supportive and hasn’t gotten mad at me today. I hope tomorrow will be even better. I still have a tremendous amount of guilt. Trying to relax and take each minute at a time
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: Boston MA
Posts: 726
That is good I am glad he is being supportive. I hope you can find a counselor/therapist that specializes in addiction. Please try and let go of the guilt. Please nurture yourself and self care. Post here if you have the urge to drink, or any thoughts of drinking. If you can grab a coffee and hit a woman's meeting -check it out! Ok get a great sober sleep. We can all do this a day at a time.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2019
Posts: 50
Originally Posted by faith823
That is good I am glad he is being supportive. I hope you can find a counselor/therapist that specializes in addiction. Please try and let go of the guilt. Please nurture yourself and self care. Post here if you have the urge to drink, or any thoughts of drinking. If you can grab a coffee and hit a woman's meeting -check it out! Ok get a great sober sleep. We can all do this a day at a time.
i went to bed on the earlier side. Feeling okay so far today. I definitely don’t want to drink. I think slotnof the sneaking drinking would be that on the weekend, I don’t have slotnof time to devote to something for just me. So I would think I could sneak some drinks to relax a little while still fulfilling my responsibilities as a wife and mom. Stupid I know. I know I need to make more time for myself but then I feel like that adds to my selfishness.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: Boston MA
Posts: 726
Just keep posting here. I wish you the best of luck. Please make time for yourself it is detrimental to your well being and sobriety. Without sobriety you will not have a husband and like myself maybe even a job. I am starting all over because I did not put my self first. Looks like you have a plan and support here. It is so much easier to be present in life without the artificial relaxation it causes so much stress and grief in my life after the fact. Congrats on your sober time.
x
x
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2019
Posts: 50
Originally Posted by faith823
Just keep posting here. I wish you the best of luck. Please make time for yourself it is detrimental to your well being and sobriety. Without sobriety you will not have a husband and like myself maybe even a job. I am starting all over because I did not put my self first. Looks like you have a plan and support here. It is so much easier to be present in life without the artificial relaxation it causes so much stress and grief in my life after the fact. Congrats on your sober time.
x
x
not a greeter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: padmasana
Posts: 13,927
Hi lily. I’m sorry you’re having to deal with walking on eggshells around your husband. Getting sober is hard enough without that added stress. Forgive me if I’m missing something but it sounds as though he wanted you to commit to not messing up (I believe was how you worded it) via text yet he’s seeking legal advice anyway? Why does he want you to handle recovery privately if he’s talking to an attorney? Seeing a therapist will surely be beneficial but if you want to go to AA I encourage you to go to meetings.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2019
Posts: 50
Originally Posted by gypsytears
Hi lily. I’m sorry you’re having to deal with walking on eggshells around your husband. Getting sober is hard enough without that added stress. Forgive me if I’m missing something but it sounds as though he wanted you to commit to not messing up (I believe was how you worded it) via text yet he’s seeking legal advice anyway? Why does he want you to handle recovery privately if he’s talking to an attorney? Seeing a therapist will surely be beneficial but if you want to go to AA I encourage you to go to meetings.
he is mad again via text. Telling me history will repeats itself, in selfish, I don’t think this is a big deal etc. I stupidly said I needed something when we had just bought something else and he went off on me. And I’m at work. I just want to cry. I feel so helpless and I have no one !
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2019
Posts: 50
Originally Posted by Lisalily
I don’t know what to do I don’t Really can’t time to myself
he is mad again via text. Telling me history will repeats itself, in selfish, I don’t think this is a big deal etc. I stupidly said I needed something when we had just bought something else and he went off on me. And I’m at work. I just want to cry. I feel so helpless and I have no one !
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: Boston MA
Posts: 726
Hi,
AA can be very intimidating at first. It really can be magical. I just woke up feeling down, tired , unmotivated and stuck. Came back from my meeting and feel 10X better. Everyone in that room is in there for the same reason I am so that helps take the stigma away. Lots of successful , salt of the earth, great hearted people that are so grateful to be sober. To be able to live life. Today a gentleman expressed that every day for him is a gift. The best thing that ever happened to him was AA. Being a nurse he was seeing first hand again the ugliness and SADNESS of alcoholism in everyday life.
I am writing above for me to read and get out as well.
You are doing great. You are in a very stressful situation and are staying Sober.
I am walking on egg shells myself when I call the estranged BF. Or whatever he is. He is very hot and cold. Passive/agressive so I try to pay attention and think positives things about myself. How I am not drinking today and working on being the best person I can be. I hope you can rest tonight. I am glad you are posting here.
AA can be very intimidating at first. It really can be magical. I just woke up feeling down, tired , unmotivated and stuck. Came back from my meeting and feel 10X better. Everyone in that room is in there for the same reason I am so that helps take the stigma away. Lots of successful , salt of the earth, great hearted people that are so grateful to be sober. To be able to live life. Today a gentleman expressed that every day for him is a gift. The best thing that ever happened to him was AA. Being a nurse he was seeing first hand again the ugliness and SADNESS of alcoholism in everyday life.
I am writing above for me to read and get out as well.
You are doing great. You are in a very stressful situation and are staying Sober.
I am walking on egg shells myself when I call the estranged BF. Or whatever he is. He is very hot and cold. Passive/agressive so I try to pay attention and think positives things about myself. How I am not drinking today and working on being the best person I can be. I hope you can rest tonight. I am glad you are posting here.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2019
Posts: 50
Originally Posted by faith823
Hi,
AA can be very intimidating at first. It really can be magical. I just woke up feeling down, tired , unmotivated and stuck. Came back from my meeting and feel 10X better. Everyone in that room is in there for the same reason I am so that helps take the stigma away. Lots of successful , salt of the earth, great hearted people that are so grateful to be sober. To be able to live life. Today a gentleman expressed that every day for him is a gift. The best thing that ever happened to him was AA. Being a nurse he was seeing first hand again the ugliness and SADNESS of alcoholism in everyday life.
I am writing above for me to read and get out as well.
You are doing great. You are in a very stressful situation and are staying Sober.
I am walking on egg shells myself when I call the estranged BF. Or whatever he is. He is very hot and cold. Passive/agressive so I try to pay attention and think positives things about myself. How I am not drinking today and working on being the best person I can be. I hope you can rest tonight. I am glad you are posting here.
AA can be very intimidating at first. It really can be magical. I just woke up feeling down, tired , unmotivated and stuck. Came back from my meeting and feel 10X better. Everyone in that room is in there for the same reason I am so that helps take the stigma away. Lots of successful , salt of the earth, great hearted people that are so grateful to be sober. To be able to live life. Today a gentleman expressed that every day for him is a gift. The best thing that ever happened to him was AA. Being a nurse he was seeing first hand again the ugliness and SADNESS of alcoholism in everyday life.
I am writing above for me to read and get out as well.
You are doing great. You are in a very stressful situation and are staying Sober.
I am walking on egg shells myself when I call the estranged BF. Or whatever he is. He is very hot and cold. Passive/agressive so I try to pay attention and think positives things about myself. How I am not drinking today and working on being the best person I can be. I hope you can rest tonight. I am glad you are posting here.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 1,254
Hi lisalily it must be hard for you with your husband going hot and cold as that is bound to cause you extra stress and anxiety at a time you just want to be calm. I know what you mean to about needing to find time for yourself I need to do that to it's like i just need some hobbies or something to try and find something i can enjoy or do to relax
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
