Sapph21

Shenzy- thanks for articulating that...everything you say is something I certainly relate to. I consciously have to shut down that conversation each time in my head each time the AV pops up...sometimes I win, (obv I’ve submitted to it too many times!). I’m trying to look at it like parenting young kids (which I’m also trying to learn how to navigate!)...tap out on the constant back and forth negotiations right away or else end up giving into the tantrum and digging myself into a deeper pit!

I’m only crossing into my first week AF though, so I’ve loads to learn and many mountains to climb.

Have a great sober day everybody

braebear

Morning Y'all! Starting day 5 here too. My AV begins as soon as I get out of bed....I've always been a morning drinker....hammered by 9 am. So the hardest part of my day is the morning. If I can get to about 11 am, the cravings fade tremendously. I've never been an afternoon or evening drinker, so I rarely crave past noon. Today, I slept in a little! Had 20 minutes to myself before I had to get Hubby up for work. Made him breakfast, and took my pup on a walk as soon as he left. This would of been my time to crack open the beer or run into town to get some. The walk really helped. Came back and at some PB&J toast, and took my meds. Now, I'm here! Still on shaky ground so gonna be here alot today! Have a good day y'all!

Finalround

Great advise here. So much of early recovery is about action. Our brains are too addicted to be rationalized with. It really requires a solid plan of forced activity that breaks our addictions patterns.
Great advice for those with the evening "witching hours", get up,earlier. Wake up early and go for a walk or exercise. Eat, eat, eat. Get thru the day with a plan for activity before those craving times. Then crash into bed early from exhaustion. (Great advice from long time member with years of sobriety).

I know wasting time arguing with my AV continues to strengthen its existence. I have a list of go to actions when the urges come. Eat something. Hot chocolate. Go for a walk. Push ups. Bike ride. Hot shower. Go for a swim.
Have I mentioned hot chocolate?

This is not easy but it's harder to just wing it. Have a plan for each of the situations you will find yourself in that trigger the urges. It might mean missing out out places and things for now. But if you want to be sober more than you want to be hungover, it's worth it.

have a great day all.

bobdrop

Hi all. Day 10 here. Finally starting to feel the lingering effects, going away. Looking forward to a productive week.

venuscat

So very glad you did sign up.
We need to do this together....I know I need all of you.....as Slaybells said:

"I just don’t think anyone without this condition can ever understand."

Neither do I.

venuscat

This is such a wonderful post....(of course ).

It is so completely true for me as well; I was a slave to my addiction.
Every single post here resonates with me. I was exactly the same. The 4pm ding ding ding.....that bell was loud for me. For years.

I thought I was doing well when I managed to change it to 5pm. Ha.

I think of it all as very Pavlovian. We are the rats in the experiment: and we are trained to expect a reward that is ultimately going to kill us. We absolutely have to break the cycle....that is key.

And it is possible, and it is enormously freeing to break this cycle.

I spent way too many years wanting a life I could never have, because, well, it was in the way of my drinking. How insane is that?

Now I can do what I want (within reason, I don't do well in crowded pubs for example, but I'm claustrophobic) and not be triggered, as Dee said. I don't leave these places anymore and have to go searching for an open bottle shop. It wouldn't even occur to me now. But it took time....a long time for me....and I had to do it twice, because moving to the US was so very weird for me....a massive culture shock, and there are pubs 2 mins from me in at least three different directions.

OK, sorry for the ramble.

listae

Thanks for the wisdom of your posts. I'm starting day 3 and each moment sober is again reminding me not just why I can't drink but why sobriety is such a better lived experience.

Venuscat: thank you for the Pavlov analogy. It is so true that I've conditioned myself to think of alcohol (a glass of wine, to be specific) as a reward. I could see no other sense of pleasure than a drink at the end of the day.

G00SEM00SE

Citrus

Back on another day 1. This is ridiculous.

venuscat

Never ever give up. If we don't, no matter what the obstacles are, we have a chance of overcoming them. We CAN overcome them.

So much love to both of you.

And Citrus honey....you are the reason I inserted my nosy self into this thread. Let's do this together....text, call, msg, anything....hey....you will really be helping me too....I am lonely here still, need more buddies to chat with.

I did "ridiculous" for 20 years.....maybe I have a few ideas that might help you? You just never know what is going to be the 'thing' that clicks.... xxx

venuscat

Hello dear mariposa.....how are you love? s xx

And calmself (awesome username ) and braebear (makes me think of beowulf ) s

(....hmmm, thinking braebear might be a Scot? Half of one myself. xx).

Citrus

Awe Suze, I just love you to death.
I am so ready to do this. Really teary an anxious today.

Midton

I’ve noticed quite a few Scots in this thread. It’s not in my profile but I’m one too.

Anyway in other news I’m on day 10.

venuscat

Gosh, awesome!!! I can't help it, I am biased.....my mum was from Glasgow and she was the very best person I have ever known. xx

I hope you had a good day dear Midton. ♥

venuscat

It's OK honey....I mean it's awful to feel...but let it out....we are all here for you, and with you. We ALL get this, every single one of us. Shared pain = shared recovery....for sure. That't the only way I know to do this.

Really. Until I made SR a daily commitment, I just couldn't get past my excuses. And my pain. And my shame....here, well, how is there room for those things? We all know how it feels, none of us judge. So stay. And breathe it all in, and day by day it will get better, and easier. ♥♥

Citrus

The little things in life are just kind of all adding up at the moment. I've told my husband how overwhelmed with everything I am lately and he just kind of shrugs. And I know that the alcohol is fueling the feelings of anxiety and being overwhelmed. But then that little bit of a buzz sure helps me not to care for a little while. But of course that is just stupid and like hitting myself over the head with a bat.

I just need to suck it up and get some time under my belt. I will try very, very hard to committing to coming to SR and posting and reading more. My husband and 2 of my boys are on a trip for the rest of the week. So I only have my adult daughter and my yongest at home with me. I really want to have a week in by the time the guys get home.

Dee74

I believe you can do this Citrus - that little voice thats telling you alcohol is the only way to deal with life or the buzz is your only reward is a liar.

The problem is you won't know for sure it's a liar until you try the other way

D

calmself

Day 12 - sunny cool day. Waves of AV voices have started as wine o clock arrives. I have to stay strong today. These have no power unless I help them. Hopefully I don't.

venuscat

I don't think you need to suck it up....we can't do this when it is white-knuckling and pain. It is just so hard that way.

All you need to do right now is make the decision: just for today, I will not drink. Just that. Only that.

And then we do it again tomorrow. And it gets easier. And it becomes a wonderful, bless-ful thing, rather than a labour....or something that we need out of desperation.

We don't have to suffer to change: I think that is one of the reasons this is so hard for a lot of us. Just tell yourself you are going on a health-kick. A good old-fashioned one. And treat yourself with love and good food and exercise and fun.....you have the week.....that's a huge plus I think. xx

soberbythesea

Hi all,

Humbly joining the July class. I haven't had a drink since January 12 but I smoked weed twice over July 4 weekend. I was white knuckling it through a big family gathering and convinced myself that weed was different and okay since I've only ever done it a few times and it's never caused me a problem. I can see now that it wasn't okay, though, because I know that I still cracked and used a substance to cope with how I was feeling. I couldn't quite bring myself to drink so I cheated in another way.

I'm resetting my date. I'm still happy that I haven't actually drank alcohol since January, but I think that resetting my time is the only honest thing to do in this situation, and I also think I need to reexamine how I'm dealing with my sobriety since clearly I had some massive problems over the weekend that I did not anticipate at all.

Hi everyone