Your experience is very common for an alcoholic. Stick with a recovery program until you experience the spiritual awakening/psychic change necessary to recover from alcoholism. Also it may be that you need help if you are continuing to struggle with your moods from psychiatric services. The secret is to get as much help as possible.

Contented, happy sobriety is totally possible and it’s possible to become a totally different person if you stick with it until you get the profound changes in thinking, attitude, and outlook on life which working a recovery program will bring. The secret is to stick with it through the tough times accepting the good and bad as simply one of the same.

Reading through this thread is heartbreaking and I can so relate. I hope Mizz comes back soon.

I think we can all agree no matter how miserable we can get sober it doesn’t compare to misery of using.

I don’t know if you remember me but I appreciated your kindness when I was new here and I want you to know that I won’t give up on you. Please don’t give up on yourself either. It’s hard. I wish I could give you an answer of how to do it but I think it’s different for ever one of us. How and why we get and stay sober. I just know it’s possible and very much worth the blood, sweat, and tears.

you did it once before so you know you can do it again. Maybe it’s time for some one on one counseling? Start running again? Feed the good part of you that has been neglected. Though I don’t recommend rehab it can be a good way to hit the restart button.

This is whole community has your back. Keep us posted.

I got excited there for a minute bc I thought you were back Mizzuno... hope you are okay out there.