Sweetichicks New Accountability Thread
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
Originally Posted by Bathbomb 
Obviously this post is directed at me.
I didn't say will power alone is enough. Obviously it's not. Sweeti gets to day 3 or 4 then on a whim (to use her own words) succumbs to the cravings and has a drink. I am not having a go at you by the way Sweeti I am merely trying to explain myself. I am suggesting that perhaps Sweeti is not using her will power at this time.
Have you felt like a drink but didn't have one RAL? Will power. Have you had an argument with your AV and won? Will power.
It may sound like a flippant or silly suggestion to you RAL but I wouldn't be on day 50 without will power.
I was trying to be supportive and helpful. Were you? Every one of us who have not given in to the temptation has used among other things will power.
Definition of will power - The ability to control your own thoughts and the way in which you behave. The ability to resist short term temptations in order to meet long term goals. Will power comes in handy. I used it just then in my response to you.
Sorry Dee, I'll show myself out.
I didn't say will power alone is enough. Obviously it's not. Sweeti gets to day 3 or 4 then on a whim (to use her own words) succumbs to the cravings and has a drink. I am not having a go at you by the way Sweeti I am merely trying to explain myself. I am suggesting that perhaps Sweeti is not using her will power at this time.
Have you felt like a drink but didn't have one RAL? Will power. Have you had an argument with your AV and won? Will power.
It may sound like a flippant or silly suggestion to you RAL but I wouldn't be on day 50 without will power.
I was trying to be supportive and helpful. Were you? Every one of us who have not given in to the temptation has used among other things will power.
Definition of will power - The ability to control your own thoughts and the way in which you behave. The ability to resist short term temptations in order to meet long term goals. Will power comes in handy. I used it just then in my response to you.
Sorry Dee, I'll show myself out.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
One of the things we all have to accept as part of a recovery community is that there will always be people who will be actively drinking or somewhere in the process of quitting, some even after many years of trying to stop. That applies here at SR, in face to face recovery meetings, in rehab, etc. And while it may be upsetting to see it happen, it's part of life unfortunately. It's also true that fighting with each other about it won't fix anything. Dee has already had to ask multiple times for people to knock it off, but it's pretty clear that's not happening. If you are unable to control your emotions and responses it might be best to just take a break or a walk, or take your personal feuds to PM instead of airing your grievances publicly.
Ocean Lover!
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: You know nothing Jon Snow - UK
Posts: 2,604
Please try to remember people that this thread is to respond / show support to Sweetie and it's not appropriate to hijack it to argue with each other. It's not going to help Sweetie and that is what this thread is here for. Before posting ask yourself "am I angry / frustrated / offended" and if the answer is yes, maybe move onto another thread and put some space between your emotions and the keyboard.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 2,909
I post with the hope of helping others to achieve recovery. Because I learn best when other people share what has worked for them that is what I try to do in my posts. I have a tendency to not learn and even regress when other people tell me what to do as opposed to when they tell me what they did.
I found recovery when I put on blinders and focused on my actions and fully accepted the consequences of my actions. That is still working for me today some 16 years later. Recovery is lot more involved than that, but that was the starting point for me and forms the bedrock of my today. I went through the wringer to get to the present, but that is the only way I was going to get here, oh but what a today!!!
I found recovery when I put on blinders and focused on my actions and fully accepted the consequences of my actions. That is still working for me today some 16 years later. Recovery is lot more involved than that, but that was the starting point for me and forms the bedrock of my today. I went through the wringer to get to the present, but that is the only way I was going to get here, oh but what a today!!!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: NC
Posts: 1,737
Sweetichick,
Two of the things I heard in early sobriety were "if you want to get sober, first you have to quit drinking", and that I had "to be willing to go to any length to get it." Initially I wasn't sure I truly wanted a life without alcohol, much less whether I was capable of going to "any length" to get it. All of the feedback from people who were apparently different than I (by virtue of their ability to get sober) was confusing and at times maddening. I was paranoid and suspicious of all these folks who seemed to want to tell me how to live my life.
In retrospect, I now understand that they simply wanted to help free me from the bondage of active addiction. Ultimately, it was the choices that I made, minute by minute and day by day that made my sobriety possible. At the end of the day, it turned out "willing to go to any length" took the form of deciding which way to go to a store (eg camp stove). If you must go the long way around to get to the camp stove without going by the bottle store, so be it. I wouldn't buy bread in early sobriety because that was the aisle where they stocked the beer and wine. Was I fragile and ridiculous to avoid that aisle? Perhaps. But it kept me out of harms way, and surely during one of those shopping trips when I didn't feel great about my circumstances, the world around me, etc. - and could have easily purchased a case of beer, it wasn't an option because I didn't allow myself that option.
I have lost several friends along the way to addiction. And though I don't know you personally, your sobriety matters to me because you, like us all, are a creation of the divine. I don't know what you need to get and stay sober, but from the knees of my heart I hope you find it.
Eddie
Two of the things I heard in early sobriety were "if you want to get sober, first you have to quit drinking", and that I had "to be willing to go to any length to get it." Initially I wasn't sure I truly wanted a life without alcohol, much less whether I was capable of going to "any length" to get it. All of the feedback from people who were apparently different than I (by virtue of their ability to get sober) was confusing and at times maddening. I was paranoid and suspicious of all these folks who seemed to want to tell me how to live my life.
In retrospect, I now understand that they simply wanted to help free me from the bondage of active addiction. Ultimately, it was the choices that I made, minute by minute and day by day that made my sobriety possible. At the end of the day, it turned out "willing to go to any length" took the form of deciding which way to go to a store (eg camp stove). If you must go the long way around to get to the camp stove without going by the bottle store, so be it. I wouldn't buy bread in early sobriety because that was the aisle where they stocked the beer and wine. Was I fragile and ridiculous to avoid that aisle? Perhaps. But it kept me out of harms way, and surely during one of those shopping trips when I didn't feel great about my circumstances, the world around me, etc. - and could have easily purchased a case of beer, it wasn't an option because I didn't allow myself that option.
I have lost several friends along the way to addiction. And though I don't know you personally, your sobriety matters to me because you, like us all, are a creation of the divine. I don't know what you need to get and stay sober, but from the knees of my heart I hope you find it.
Eddie
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,527
First of all, I will ask that members refer their posts to Sweeti, and not to each other. That way, we keep the focus on the OP, where it belongs.
Secondly, we can offer support to Sweeti, and that's all we can do. Alcoholism is a horrible disease and sometimes, people are fully in its clutches. Having members here get annoyed and frustrated because of that is not helpful, not in any way.
Please, please, please, if you cannot or do not want to offer support to Sweeti, put her on Ignore, and then move on to the next member that you can help. There are many people here deserving of our time and effort. If you read back on this thread you will see that we have asked the same thing numerous times. Clearly this is taking a lot of the Mods & Admins time.
Thank you for listening.
Secondly, we can offer support to Sweeti, and that's all we can do. Alcoholism is a horrible disease and sometimes, people are fully in its clutches. Having members here get annoyed and frustrated because of that is not helpful, not in any way.
Please, please, please, if you cannot or do not want to offer support to Sweeti, put her on Ignore, and then move on to the next member that you can help. There are many people here deserving of our time and effort. If you read back on this thread you will see that we have asked the same thing numerous times. Clearly this is taking a lot of the Mods & Admins time.
Thank you for listening.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Right here, right now
Posts: 3,978
Hi Sweeti, just checking in today. I think it’s payday for your, right? I am sending you strength, support and love as you go through your day. Can you post here often? What other ways do you have to distract yourself and occupy your time? I have been hand painting rocks lately and find it very therapeutic 
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,044
Originally Posted by sweetichick
I am okay Bexxed. I am most worried about payday tomorrow..these 3 days have been tough. I don’t think I could do it again. I have to buy a new camper stove. And the store is right next to the bottle shop. I will post here first before I leave. Bathbomb wrote a great post. I have yet to reply. I feel like I am in a brain fog. I cleaned my bedroom early this morning. Maybe I overdid it. Thanks for your support.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,044
Hi Sweeti,
I think it’s payday for you today. I always get mixed up with the time zones between here and Australia. I know today is a hard one for you, it should be day four, and you can get to day five. Here are a few thoughts for the day:
-Pick one area of your house to clean or organize
-Someone mentioned you enjoy gardening, spend some time doing that
-Read a recovery book from the list. I know in the US you can check books out of the library online. If not, a trip to the library might be a good outing.
- Get your groceries from store that’s not near the bottle shop, do some meal prepping for the week
-Go to a meeting online, or in person
-Read and post on SR
-Find a show you like and watch it
Once you get a little more time under your belt you should look into volunteering, or working part time somewhere. I really think it would be helpful for you to have something to fill your days, and would be nice to give back. What did you do when you worked?
I think it’s payday for you today. I always get mixed up with the time zones between here and Australia. I know today is a hard one for you, it should be day four, and you can get to day five. Here are a few thoughts for the day:
-Pick one area of your house to clean or organize
-Someone mentioned you enjoy gardening, spend some time doing that
-Read a recovery book from the list. I know in the US you can check books out of the library online. If not, a trip to the library might be a good outing.
- Get your groceries from store that’s not near the bottle shop, do some meal prepping for the week
-Go to a meeting online, or in person
-Read and post on SR
-Find a show you like and watch it
Once you get a little more time under your belt you should look into volunteering, or working part time somewhere. I really think it would be helpful for you to have something to fill your days, and would be nice to give back. What did you do when you worked?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,886
Sweeti, there is no doubt in my mind that you can achieve lasting sobriety. Your struggles are real and cannot be minimized but I firmly believe that you can rise above them and enjoy a fine sober life.
Dig deep within you, Sweeti; find that strong woman that so deserves sobriety. I
and many, many others look forward to celebrating your sweet success.
Dig deep within you, Sweeti; find that strong woman that so deserves sobriety. I
and many, many others look forward to celebrating your sweet success.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 453
Hi Sweeti,
Just wanted to say that I haven't forgotten my own struggles with getting sober. I can't say how many times I said, "If this isn't bad enough to keep me sober, I don't know what will." But I was usually drunk again within that same day or a day or two later. It's the nature of addiction.
I was lucky to stay alive long enough to get sober. I've lost a few friends to this illness.
All I can say is that you have to keep a laser focus on sobriety. Reinforce that decision every minute of every day if you have to. Learning to disassociate my commitment to sobriety from the overpowering voice in my head to drink (or those "out of the blue" moments when I decided F it, I'm going to drink) was huge.
Please don't give up. But please do something different. Add something to your plan. Strengthen your commitment to sobriety.
I know you're suffering from something (you've mentioned it in a previous post) and all I can offer is that in order to heal, you have to get sober. We can't heal from our pain when we're drinking.
We are resilient creatures, us human beings. You can heal and grow. Imagine what it would be like to be able to reach out to someone and say, "I had a hard time getting sober, but it was worth it. You can do it, too."
I'm wishing you all the best as always. Always cheering you on.
Just wanted to say that I haven't forgotten my own struggles with getting sober. I can't say how many times I said, "If this isn't bad enough to keep me sober, I don't know what will." But I was usually drunk again within that same day or a day or two later. It's the nature of addiction.
I was lucky to stay alive long enough to get sober. I've lost a few friends to this illness.
All I can say is that you have to keep a laser focus on sobriety. Reinforce that decision every minute of every day if you have to. Learning to disassociate my commitment to sobriety from the overpowering voice in my head to drink (or those "out of the blue" moments when I decided F it, I'm going to drink) was huge.
Please don't give up. But please do something different. Add something to your plan. Strengthen your commitment to sobriety.
I know you're suffering from something (you've mentioned it in a previous post) and all I can offer is that in order to heal, you have to get sober. We can't heal from our pain when we're drinking.
We are resilient creatures, us human beings. You can heal and grow. Imagine what it would be like to be able to reach out to someone and say, "I had a hard time getting sober, but it was worth it. You can do it, too."
I'm wishing you all the best as always. Always cheering you on.
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2016
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,802
So far good. I went to Coles early and was out long before the bottle shop opened. I was awake most of last night due to a shop alarm going off. I was a bit surprised at some of the posts people were putting up. Thanks to Anna it all died down. Thanks for asking how I am feeling today and for not closing the thread down.
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2016
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,802
Originally Posted by Eddiebuckle
Sweetichick,
Two of the things I heard in early sobriety were "if you want to get sober, first you have to quit drinking", and that I had "to be willing to go to any length to get it." Initially I wasn't sure I truly wanted a life without alcohol, much less whether I was capable of going to "any length" to get it. All of the feedback from people who were apparently different than I (by virtue of their ability to get sober) was confusing and at times maddening. I was paranoid and suspicious of all these folks who seemed to want to tell me how to live my life.
In retrospect, I now understand that they simply wanted to help free me from the bondage of active addiction. Ultimately, it was the choices that I made, minute by minute and day by day that made my sobriety possible. At the end of the day, it turned out "willing to go to any length" took the form of deciding which way to go to a store (eg camp stove). If you must go the long way around to get to the camp stove without going by the bottle store, so be it. I wouldn't buy bread in early sobriety because that was the aisle where they stocked the beer and wine. Was I fragile and ridiculous to avoid that aisle? Perhaps. But it kept me out of harms way, and surely during one of those shopping trips when I didn't feel great about my circumstances, the world around me, etc. - and could have easily purchased a case of beer, it wasn't an option because I didn't allow myself that option.
I have lost several friends along the way to addiction. And though I don't know you personally, your sobriety matters to me because you, like us all, are a creation of the divine. I don't know what you need to get and stay sober, but from the knees of my heart I hope you find it.
Eddie
Two of the things I heard in early sobriety were "if you want to get sober, first you have to quit drinking", and that I had "to be willing to go to any length to get it." Initially I wasn't sure I truly wanted a life without alcohol, much less whether I was capable of going to "any length" to get it. All of the feedback from people who were apparently different than I (by virtue of their ability to get sober) was confusing and at times maddening. I was paranoid and suspicious of all these folks who seemed to want to tell me how to live my life.
In retrospect, I now understand that they simply wanted to help free me from the bondage of active addiction. Ultimately, it was the choices that I made, minute by minute and day by day that made my sobriety possible. At the end of the day, it turned out "willing to go to any length" took the form of deciding which way to go to a store (eg camp stove). If you must go the long way around to get to the camp stove without going by the bottle store, so be it. I wouldn't buy bread in early sobriety because that was the aisle where they stocked the beer and wine. Was I fragile and ridiculous to avoid that aisle? Perhaps. But it kept me out of harms way, and surely during one of those shopping trips when I didn't feel great about my circumstances, the world around me, etc. - and could have easily purchased a case of beer, it wasn't an option because I didn't allow myself that option.
I have lost several friends along the way to addiction. And though I don't know you personally, your sobriety matters to me because you, like us all, are a creation of the divine. I don't know what you need to get and stay sober, but from the knees of my heart I hope you find it.
Eddie
It must have opened before 9. Anyway I avoided it and drove a different way home. I suffer from paranoia so are very suspicious of people too. Thanks for your post. It was helpful.
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2016
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,802
Originally Posted by Delilah1
Glad you are sober Sweeti. Tomorrow will be day five (I think) and that means you’re closing in on one week sober.
When do you start outpatient?
When do you start outpatient?
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2016
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,802
Originally Posted by Fearlessat50
Hi Sweeti, just checking in today. I think it’s payday for your, right? I am sending you strength, support and love as you go through your day. Can you post here often? What other ways do you have to distract yourself and occupy your time? I have been hand painting rocks lately and find it very therapeutic
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