Day 3. I hate this....
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 1,645
Hi Canuck,
Are you able to sleep today. Everyone is different, but by day 4 the anxiety should be wearing off a bit.
You can do this. Please stay vigilant when you feel better physically just like I plan to do. I had very vivid dreams last night with meteors crashing to earth and stuff. I know it was the alcohol.
Are you able to sleep today. Everyone is different, but by day 4 the anxiety should be wearing off a bit.
You can do this. Please stay vigilant when you feel better physically just like I plan to do. I had very vivid dreams last night with meteors crashing to earth and stuff. I know it was the alcohol.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2019
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 268
I slept about 4 hours yesterday but have been awake all night again. Day 5 now but anxiety attacks are still happening. I am miserable. I keep thinking my life is hopelessness and I will be living in poverty, alone the rest of my life. Then I think about suicide if things aren't working out by age 45 (43) now. Pretty negative outlook, I know. These thoughts are so intrusive and they won't let me sleep.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
I think instead of all this negative ruminating, start filling your hours with productive stuff. Clean out a closet. Vacuum. Detail your bathroom so it is sparkling. I'm guessing if you're anything like me when I was drinking, the housework and other self-care things have been neglected. Bonus is it will make the physical body tired, so sleep will be easier.
Focus on what you have, not what you don't have. A daily Gratitude list was one of my things, and it helped tremendously. Three things written down every day.
I ate well in early days. I kept busy. I walked outdoors every day for an hour. Personally I went to AA meetings. I don't go any more but it helped me get dressed, get out and be around people. They have coffee and cookies, how about going to a few meetings? I listened to quiet, instrumental music on Pandora.
Early days are tough, we all had those negative loops in our brain. I must have said the Serenity Prayer five million times (a day) in early sobriety. Find a poem and memorize it. Every time your mind starts to go to the negative, work on that poem.
Reprogram.
Don't torture yourself with your own thoughts.
Focus on what you have, not what you don't have. A daily Gratitude list was one of my things, and it helped tremendously. Three things written down every day.
I ate well in early days. I kept busy. I walked outdoors every day for an hour. Personally I went to AA meetings. I don't go any more but it helped me get dressed, get out and be around people. They have coffee and cookies, how about going to a few meetings? I listened to quiet, instrumental music on Pandora.
Early days are tough, we all had those negative loops in our brain. I must have said the Serenity Prayer five million times (a day) in early sobriety. Find a poem and memorize it. Every time your mind starts to go to the negative, work on that poem.
Reprogram.
Don't torture yourself with your own thoughts.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,431
You aren't your situation Canuck--you are far more and precious.
I think you need to rack up the sober days as that's when the perspective actually has a chance to broaden and lighten.
Your AV is really hammering on you with the despair tape to get you back to the bottle.
What if you totally went off your previous script and didn't relapse, and began making small steps towards doing something different?
I know there is always a demand for workers in the backcountry in Canada.
What about pivoting your life, at least for awhile, and do something proactive and unexpected, to you and your AV?
You don't have things tying you to where you are, and if opportunities are limited, make some new ones.
I think you need to rack up the sober days as that's when the perspective actually has a chance to broaden and lighten.
Your AV is really hammering on you with the despair tape to get you back to the bottle.
What if you totally went off your previous script and didn't relapse, and began making small steps towards doing something different?
I know there is always a demand for workers in the backcountry in Canada.
What about pivoting your life, at least for awhile, and do something proactive and unexpected, to you and your AV?
You don't have things tying you to where you are, and if opportunities are limited, make some new ones.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2019
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 268
I have zero energy and motivation. I have slept only 4 hours since Friday morning. I know if I can get sleep, I will improve immensely. I have taken melatonin and OTC pills but my brain won't shut down. Total zombie and can't think straight. Thanks for the input!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
I would stop with the caffeine. Maybe taper off in the next couple days to avoid the withdrawal from caffeine headache.
When I was in early sobriety I drank zero caffeine. No coffee, tea, Coke, any drinks with caffeine. They made my intrusive, spinning thoughts go nuts.
Ice cream cures cravings.
It wasn't until I was at about six months sober that I could start adding back caffeine and even then I could only have one cup of half caf per day or the negative intrusive thoughts would start up.
It was probably two years before I started being able to have more than one cup of regular coffee without setting that off.
It's amazing/terrifying how much damage alcohol does.
When I was in early sobriety I drank zero caffeine. No coffee, tea, Coke, any drinks with caffeine. They made my intrusive, spinning thoughts go nuts.
Ice cream cures cravings.
It wasn't until I was at about six months sober that I could start adding back caffeine and even then I could only have one cup of half caf per day or the negative intrusive thoughts would start up.
It was probably two years before I started being able to have more than one cup of regular coffee without setting that off.
It's amazing/terrifying how much damage alcohol does.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2019
Location: Las Vegas, NV
Posts: 580
Canuck
Im also on Day 3 but the years and years and years of heavy drinking as a career from dusk til dawn finally got me to the point of near-death and permanent brain damage. For me, alcoholism is a SLOW and painful suicide. You CAN do this.
TBH what helped for me was going to the Dr. (...the ER in my case)...I didn't stay overnight but thank God they FINALLY prescribed medications that actually helped. They gave me meds for my specific symptoms....Id recommend going to see a doc and being completely honest with them - tie your fingers - they can prescribe something that may make this phase easier. 🙏
You CAN do this! Get the help you need, whether its going to urgent care, meetings, SR support ( which works leaps and bounds for me because I'm a total recluse), drink lots of water and lots of rest, but please consider meds.
Its a GREAT SIGN you are on here sharing. Please Don't Go!
Im also on Day 3 but the years and years and years of heavy drinking as a career from dusk til dawn finally got me to the point of near-death and permanent brain damage. For me, alcoholism is a SLOW and painful suicide. You CAN do this.
TBH what helped for me was going to the Dr. (...the ER in my case)...I didn't stay overnight but thank God they FINALLY prescribed medications that actually helped. They gave me meds for my specific symptoms....Id recommend going to see a doc and being completely honest with them - tie your fingers - they can prescribe something that may make this phase easier. 🙏
You CAN do this! Get the help you need, whether its going to urgent care, meetings, SR support ( which works leaps and bounds for me because I'm a total recluse), drink lots of water and lots of rest, but please consider meds.
Its a GREAT SIGN you are on here sharing. Please Don't Go!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 79
Originally Posted by Canuck76 
I slept about 4 hours yesterday but have been awake all night again. Day 5 now but anxiety attacks are still happening. I am miserable. I keep thinking my life is hopelessness and I will be living in poverty, alone the rest of my life. Then I think about suicide if things aren't working out by age 45 (43) now. Pretty negative outlook, I know. These thoughts are so intrusive and they won't let me sleep.
The only thing that allowed me to get out of this pit of despair was to get and stay clean & sober. It does get better, and it does get easier. There is hope.
Thoughts and prayers to you, Canuck - keep doing the next right thing and don't drink. We believe in you.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Scotland
Posts: 3,837
Stick with it Canuck. I can't tell you the difference I felt after 5 months. It's the first time in my life I had no anxiety, I couldn't believe how that felt. Miracles can happen but I think they are brought into our life by people. Find some people to help you, not just here, be in person to.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 2,966
I forced myself to do some positive stuff/actions during those hours I couldn't sleep,in early days(still do at 2yrs'ish because..why not?)..Sitting around feeling sorry for myself never got me ANYWHERE positive..just repeated the exact same bad decisions..
It all begins with personal ownership...acceptance..and work towards a better future for ourselves.
It all begins with personal ownership...acceptance..and work towards a better future for ourselves.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,512
Canuck, I was bothered by intrusive thoughts too and I know it's awful. The best way to deal with that is to stay in the moment. When your mind wanders from what where you are and what you're doing, gently bring it back and re-focus.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 1,645
Originally Posted by biminiblue
I would stop with the caffeine. Maybe taper off in the next couple days to avoid the withdrawal from caffeine headache.
When I was in early sobriety I drank zero caffeine. No coffee, tea, Coke, any drinks with caffeine. They made my intrusive, spinning thoughts go nuts.
Ice cream cures cravings.
It wasn't until I was at about six months sober that I could start adding back caffeine and even then I could only have one cup of half caf per day or the negative intrusive thoughts would start up.
It was probably two years before I started being able to have more than one cup of regular coffee without setting that off.
It's amazing/terrifying how much damage alcohol does.
When I was in early sobriety I drank zero caffeine. No coffee, tea, Coke, any drinks with caffeine. They made my intrusive, spinning thoughts go nuts.
Ice cream cures cravings.
It wasn't until I was at about six months sober that I could start adding back caffeine and even then I could only have one cup of half caf per day or the negative intrusive thoughts would start up.
It was probably two years before I started being able to have more than one cup of regular coffee without setting that off.
It's amazing/terrifying how much damage alcohol does.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 526
A good sleep is essential, we all feel better after a good sleep. And you're still in withdrawal, so it's even harder, but don't despair, give it time and when you feel more like yourself again, do what you need to get done but don't go back to the drink.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 526
Originally Posted by ThatWasTheOldMe
This is great advice. I find that during times of abstinence, energy drinks make me go berserk. It's my AV telling me I "just need something." Then the energy drinks aren't enough and guess what I go to?
I, on the other hand, do drink coffee but I'll work on cutting down, when I'm ready.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
