Day 3. I hate this....
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2019
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 268
I have been taking antidepressants off and on for 15 years. It's just I don't see a very bright future ahead. I already lost my career and am practically unemployable because I can't pass a background check. Been fired so many times I have no references. DUI, a bankruptcy, and I suffer from ADHD.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,755
Drinking negates the effects of antiD's so taking them while drinking does no good. 
As long as you're drinking, you're going to feel hopeless. I hope you'll give sobriety a chance.
As long as you're drinking, you're going to feel hopeless. I hope you'll give sobriety a chance.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2019
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 268
I know this mental anguish will pass soon. 3 days in my apartment with zero sleep must be like what solitary confinement is like. I took a bath and ate dinner. Just need the elusive sleep.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 280
I know this feeling
Originally Posted by Canuck76 
I have done in-patient rehab, therapy and AA. Nothing sticks. Probably because I nothing to stay sober for. I will be 43 soon. Already lost everything. I am not even depressed. I just like drinking better than being sober. I am resigned to my fate.
i know what it’s like having a lot start overs/ day 1. I was reading /listening to a book by Augustin Burroughs recently called How To. It has a chapter called how to finish your drink. I’ll warn you it’s grim. But there’s truth there. You’ll quit when you want sobriety more than getting drunk. How simple this sounds I thought when I heard it. I have accepted that if I want to stop I have to go through the pain to get there.
I hope you find the strength to push the alcohol out of your life. I’m in the same struggle as you.
Congrats on day 3. I’ll make it to day 4 wth you!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2019
Posts: 141
When I got sober I couldn't sleep either so I'd pull an all nighter and stay up until about 8pm the following day, then I'd sleep and get into a pattern of 8pm-5am sleep schedule. Getting up early and fully refreshed is an important part of early sobriety. From there try to find something to do with your time - if you sit around bored you'll eventually drink from that alone!
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,355
Hi Canuck like all the others here, I believe in you.
I never thought I'd be able to live alcohol free but I managed it - you can too.
I found I had to do more than wish for change - I had to work for it.
That meant finding support and using it, making changes that reflected my desire to be sober, and begin prepared to be uncomfortable for a little while as the cumulative poison of years of drinking left me.
If you have other physical or mental health issues, it makes sense to deal with those too.
It sounds like a lot of effort but compared to what I did to keep drinking, I don't think it really is.
D
I never thought I'd be able to live alcohol free but I managed it - you can too.
I found I had to do more than wish for change - I had to work for it.
That meant finding support and using it, making changes that reflected my desire to be sober, and begin prepared to be uncomfortable for a little while as the cumulative poison of years of drinking left me.
If you have other physical or mental health issues, it makes sense to deal with those too.
It sounds like a lot of effort but compared to what I did to keep drinking, I don't think it really is.
D
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Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Hey Canuck, you sound pretty down and out. Glad you are on day 3, you should be turning the corner soon. You can improve your situation, but it takes action and no drinking. I don't have much to offer other than I want to throw my support your way. Its tough when we feel low.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2019
Posts: 957
I understand how you feel and can relate 100%. I felt like I've lost everything too. I was fired in December.
Alcohol made me feel hopeless and helpless, too.
I remember reading about your withdrawals when you quit in February. I was rooting for your every day because you were experiencing some really touch symptoms. But you got up despite the insomnia you had and went to a meeting.
You were/are suffering. It's not hopeless. You don't have to suffer anymore, if you just take it one hour at a time.
I still don't have a job. But I don't feel hopeless anymore. And I drank everyday and a lot for 20+ years. My withdrawals were terrible too. So, if a drunk like me can not drink for one day at a time, then anyone can.
I'm rooting for you again Canuck. Join a class. There is no shame. We've all been there. I was a constant relapser. But somehow I'm sober today. You can be too.
Alcohol made me feel hopeless and helpless, too.
I remember reading about your withdrawals when you quit in February. I was rooting for your every day because you were experiencing some really touch symptoms. But you got up despite the insomnia you had and went to a meeting.
You were/are suffering. It's not hopeless. You don't have to suffer anymore, if you just take it one hour at a time.
I still don't have a job. But I don't feel hopeless anymore. And I drank everyday and a lot for 20+ years. My withdrawals were terrible too. So, if a drunk like me can not drink for one day at a time, then anyone can.
I'm rooting for you again Canuck. Join a class. There is no shame. We've all been there. I was a constant relapser. But somehow I'm sober today. You can be too.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: US
Posts: 16,871
Hi Canuck, you may already be familiar with The Alcohol Experiment by Annie Grace, but that's what helped me get through the first 30 days this time around. Just a thought.....hope you get some decent sleep 
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Join Date: Sep 2018
Posts: 319
Canuck I dont know if this is allowed, if not the mods can remove it, but Ive read many here recommend this so I'll just throw it out there again.
Try melatonin to get yourself on a normal sleep schedule
Its inexpensive and can be purchased just about anywhere and is naturally ocurring in the human body.
Your brain and body are off balance right now.
It might give you some much needed rest.
Try melatonin to get yourself on a normal sleep schedule
Its inexpensive and can be purchased just about anywhere and is naturally ocurring in the human body.
Your brain and body are off balance right now.
It might give you some much needed rest.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Day Four! Keep it going.
I know your detoxing brain wants you to believe you're unemployable and that you've made too many mistakes, but it's not true. There is a job out there for you.
Keep doing that next right thing. You're going to be okay.
I know your detoxing brain wants you to believe you're unemployable and that you've made too many mistakes, but it's not true. There is a job out there for you.
Keep doing that next right thing. You're going to be okay.
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Join Date: Sep 2018
Posts: 319
Sometimes rejection is God's protection.
Ever considered something, somewhere has greater plans for you than where you were.
You dont have to settle.
Whatever power there is that makes flowers bloom may be calling you to grow.
And no one on this plant unless you were literally born yesterday hasnt made "mistakes".
To me a mistake is just telling me Im going the wrong way and to try something else.
YOU ascribe all the meaning these bumps in the road have for you. THEY do not dictate who you are or where youre going.
Ever considered something, somewhere has greater plans for you than where you were.
You dont have to settle.
Whatever power there is that makes flowers bloom may be calling you to grow.
And no one on this plant unless you were literally born yesterday hasnt made "mistakes".
To me a mistake is just telling me Im going the wrong way and to try something else.
YOU ascribe all the meaning these bumps in the road have for you. THEY do not dictate who you are or where youre going.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,355
Originally Posted by Dandelion12
Canuck I dont know if this is allowed, if not the mods can remove it, but Ive read many here recommend this so I'll just throw it out there again.
Try melatonin to get yourself on a normal sleep schedule
Its inexpensive and can be purchased just about anywhere and is naturally ocurring in the human body.
Your brain and body are off balance right now.
It might give you some much needed rest.
Try melatonin to get yourself on a normal sleep schedule
Its inexpensive and can be purchased just about anywhere and is naturally ocurring in the human body.
Your brain and body are off balance right now.
It might give you some much needed rest.
Dee
Moderator
SR
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 280
See a doctor
Originally Posted by Canuck76
5am on Day 4 and have not slept since Friday morning. In a couple weeks, I won't remember how terrible I feel now though. That is where I got to be vigilant.
of course I can’t give medical advice. But it may be a good idea to see your doctor. He may prescribe something to get you through the worst of this and help you sleep.
Congrats on day 4! I’m right there with you
The opposite of addiction is connection.
Join Date: Nov 2017
Location: Oregon, USA
Posts: 373
Originally Posted by Canuck76
5am on Day 4 and have not slept since Friday morning. In a couple weeks, I won't remember how terrible I feel now though. That is where I got to be vigilant.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 591
Hi, I think you should see a doctor. You need rest, your body needs to repair. Try to beat your longest time sober. I too was broke my first weeks of sobriety and it actually was a blessing because I couldn’t afford to drink. Try some relaxing music, chamomile tea, don’t think too much, just stay sober.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2019
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 268
It's anxiety that prevents sleep. I just can't turn my mind off no matter how much my body wants to sleep. I had an anxiety attack just now and was craving a drink to numb but fought through it. Whenever I sober up, then memories come flooding back. For example, I constantly lie to people about what I am up to when I am just drinking alone. I sober up and regret hits me. Blissfully drunk, nothing really phases me. Jekyll has to clean up Mr Hyde's mess so to say. I just have to sit with it and let it pass
I drink a lot of coke zero with caffeine to replace the beer. Not a good thing but it helps with the cravings. I have been through this before. First priority is not to drink. The rest can wait
I drink a lot of coke zero with caffeine to replace the beer. Not a good thing but it helps with the cravings. I have been through this before. First priority is not to drink. The rest can wait
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Join Date: Sep 2018
Posts: 319
I got "blissfully drunk" for the exact same reason- without it I had gotten to the point where my anxiety was torture. And then the drinking was torture.
it doesnt work long term, and as you know makes it worse.
Someone here (bimini?) said you have to put the binky down.
So true. It was like a comforting baby bottle with serious consequences
Yesterday was an uncomfortable day for me with feelings.
Im learning to sit with them and medititate. Sometimes it s*cks but I have 6 good days now and one day where Im slightly ...cranky
But I have plenty of money today and Im using it to improve my life and lay a solid foundation, not drink it and purge it.
it doesnt work long term, and as you know makes it worse.
Someone here (bimini?) said you have to put the binky down.
So true. It was like a comforting baby bottle with serious consequences
Yesterday was an uncomfortable day for me with feelings.
Im learning to sit with them and medititate. Sometimes it s*cks but I have 6 good days now and one day where Im slightly ...cranky
But I have plenty of money today and Im using it to improve my life and lay a solid foundation, not drink it and purge it.
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