Woke up in jail
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Big City
Posts: 3,895
You haven't posted in more than a year, since the last time you were talking about driving and drinking, being on probation. I hope no one was hurt this time. And if not, you're so lucky.
What's the plan? Are you finally ready to put alcohol down forever?
What's the plan? Are you finally ready to put alcohol down forever?
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
crying and hiding isn’t gonna help you solve your problem, so it’s great you’re coming here instead .
you probably know some of the ways folks here are going about getting and staying sober....pick one that makes sense to you and where you see people succeed, and then follow it.
you probably know some of the ways folks here are going about getting and staying sober....pick one that makes sense to you and where you see people succeed, and then follow it.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Its always darkest before the dawn TT - I remember how desolate I felt the morning I gave up drinking...but it's led me to some wonderful people and wonderful things 
don't lose hope - this is not the end, - you can make this the beginning of something better
D
don't lose hope - this is not the end, - you can make this the beginning of something better
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 24
No one was hurt and i am very lucky. Obviously what i am doing is not working for me. I thought i had a chance and once again i just blow it. Its so embarassong to admit i have a problem amd need help. I am not good at asking for help. Its so freaking hard and I'm scared to fail again
Member
Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 1,339
With another DUI things are going to be decidedly uncomfortable for you for a while, but that doesn't mean that this is the end of times.
Whether you are good at asking for help or not, now, that has become irrelevant under the circumstances, don't you think? The first steps are the hardest, yes, but they are necessary to protect yourself from falling further toward the abyss. How much longer can you play with fire is a good question to ask yourself.
It sounds like you need the extra help of a serious recovery plan this time. It behooves you to begin that right away. Structure helps a lot of people. What is it that you value that you might take as your starting point? You can begin with defining what is important to you for the future as a basis of recovery, whether that is your faith, your reason, your pain or some combination of things. I am unable to do this on my own, and I started with a lot of help.
Addiction is not something that you can trick your way through, it's always going to tell you that it's okay to do something that is not. It is aggressive, and it will continue to harm you if you don't act. I'm personifying your addictive voice, but in the end it is you, and you have to make some serious choices to defend yourself and others from further anguish or potential harm.
Despite what has happened, things can be better in the long term.
Whether you are good at asking for help or not, now, that has become irrelevant under the circumstances, don't you think? The first steps are the hardest, yes, but they are necessary to protect yourself from falling further toward the abyss. How much longer can you play with fire is a good question to ask yourself.
It sounds like you need the extra help of a serious recovery plan this time. It behooves you to begin that right away. Structure helps a lot of people. What is it that you value that you might take as your starting point? You can begin with defining what is important to you for the future as a basis of recovery, whether that is your faith, your reason, your pain or some combination of things. I am unable to do this on my own, and I started with a lot of help.
Addiction is not something that you can trick your way through, it's always going to tell you that it's okay to do something that is not. It is aggressive, and it will continue to harm you if you don't act. I'm personifying your addictive voice, but in the end it is you, and you have to make some serious choices to defend yourself and others from further anguish or potential harm.
Despite what has happened, things can be better in the long term.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 1,068
I'll set the bar a bit lower TT. Like most folks here I hope you can find a path to sobriety. But if you can't stay sober can you please figure out how to not drink and drive? You don't want to end up harming some innocent person. I have known a few folks who have been in that situation. You do not want to be there. EVER. It makes a few hours or even days in jail look like a vacation.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: NC
Posts: 452
Good morning, Twistedthistle! I'm a serial sobriety quitter myself and had one suggestion (a rough paraphrase of a TV show scene that resonated with me). One character repeatedly failed and finally gave up, saying "What if I try [sobriety] again and fail? Failure is the worst!". The other character replied "And {drinking] doesn't feel much better, does it?"
Look at how you define your terms - can trying sobriety be any scarier than continuing to drink knowing you might wake up in jail again someday? Please give it a try.
Look at how you define your terms - can trying sobriety be any scarier than continuing to drink knowing you might wake up in jail again someday? Please give it a try.
Giving up is NOT an option.
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 7,809
I know how you feel, Twisted. My 3rd DUI was the wake-up call I needed. I was very very lucky no one ever got hurt, and that in my state, A 3rd is still a misdemeanor. I cannot even imagine how I would have felt if I had hurt some innocent person with my reckless behavior. When I got that last DUI, while I was being booked, I had a moment of clarity and surrender. I knew, just KNEW, that it was time to be done with alcohol. And that felt like a huge relief. I also KNEW I needed to finally admit I was not going to be able to do it alone. I needed help. My way hadn't worked. I had tried many times to just quit, and would manage for short periods of time. But I always went back. I even went long stretches of time still drinking, but not driving, but my judgement goes straight out the window when I drink, so eventually I would always drink and drive again. So the only answer was to quit drinking. Period.
So I got help. I put aside my ego and fear and called a friend I knew had gotten sober. He took me to an AA meeting. He recommended an IOP program he had done. I was in treatment a week after the DUI. And it stuck. I have been sober over 4 years now, and life is SO MUCH BETTER. I feel free. I don't ever have to drink and drive again. I never have to face that shame again. But beyond that, pretty much everything in my life has improved.
I know it sucks right now. I must have spent a week straight crying after that DUI. I was in serious legal trouble. I knew I was going to have to go sit in jail for a while. But I did everything I was told to do, I worked hard on my sobriety, and everything worked out in the end. I did go to jail for two weeks, and then home detention for 45 days. It wasn't fun - but it was what I had to do. I just took the attitude that it was a lesson thoroughly learned.
You CAN turn this around. I know it's so scary right now. I was terrified. But I came out the other side of it so much better. You can, too.
So I got help. I put aside my ego and fear and called a friend I knew had gotten sober. He took me to an AA meeting. He recommended an IOP program he had done. I was in treatment a week after the DUI. And it stuck. I have been sober over 4 years now, and life is SO MUCH BETTER. I feel free. I don't ever have to drink and drive again. I never have to face that shame again. But beyond that, pretty much everything in my life has improved.
I know it sucks right now. I must have spent a week straight crying after that DUI. I was in serious legal trouble. I knew I was going to have to go sit in jail for a while. But I did everything I was told to do, I worked hard on my sobriety, and everything worked out in the end. I did go to jail for two weeks, and then home detention for 45 days. It wasn't fun - but it was what I had to do. I just took the attitude that it was a lesson thoroughly learned.
You CAN turn this around. I know it's so scary right now. I was terrified. But I came out the other side of it so much better. You can, too.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Minnesota, USA
Posts: 1,469
I'd rather look a fool sober any day than a fool that is drunk.
I hope this will be it for you and for the safety of others.
There is no shame in asking for help, I actually find it to be noble and humbling. I rather help someone who actually wants it VS someone who doesn't. - Where do you fall?
I wish you the best
-DC
I hope this will be it for you and for the safety of others.
There is no shame in asking for help, I actually find it to be noble and humbling. I rather help someone who actually wants it VS someone who doesn't. - Where do you fall?
I wish you the best
-DC
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,937
Its so embarrassing to admit I have a problem and need help.
Get over it. You need all kinds of help.
1. Go to AA, asap. That might just save your life, and it will look better for your case when you go to court.
2. Get an attorney who has experience with drunk driving cases.
Get over it. You need all kinds of help.
1. Go to AA, asap. That might just save your life, and it will look better for your case when you go to court.
2. Get an attorney who has experience with drunk driving cases.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 24
Thank you everyone. I know i have to stop and i am so humiliated by my actions. I drink i don't remember what i do and i am truly lucky no one was hurt. I have looked into aa meetings in my area. I wanted to go last night but i was so hungover that getting out of bed and showered was not a choice. I moved to a new state about 4 months ago to leave an abusive relationship thinking new start and i am right back where i always end up. I have to make a change for me. I hate feeling this way. I want o be able to look myself in the mirror without crying. And i know that means asking for help. I can't just hude and hope it gets better i need to take actions. I have no idea even where to start with plans. I don't know what it even details. Any suggestions would be appreciated!
Giving up is NOT an option.
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 7,809
Can you check into treatment options? I don't think I could have done it without the outpatient treatment I went to. Well I probably could have, but it really really helped. And go to AA. Zebra is right - any proactive action you can take before you go to court will help you. I could have been in jail a lot longer, but the judge saw that I went to treatment on my own (it ended up being court ordered, but by the time they ordered it I was already almost done with it) and I took my AA sponsor to court with me when I went. A good lawyer can help you navigate the whole court thing, too, even if you plead no contest or guilty. My lawyer helped me find a diversion program, which entailed regular pee tests, home breathalyzer monitoring, and other hoops to jump through to keep that jail sentence short. I wouldn't have known about it without him.
Get to an AA meeting ASAP!
Get to an AA meeting ASAP!
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
My dui experience was similar to MLD's. I drank for 30 yrs., always insisting I could control it if I used enough willpower. Of course that never happened - and each time I drank I put myself in serious danger. To admit I could never be a social drinker was very difficult - but once I did I was able to get free. You can definitely do this, Twisted - please keep posting. Life is going to get so much better.
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