Twistedthistle

So i found a meeting i can go to tonight. I'm scared to death but crap what do i have to loose besides my life. Not that I've been living much of one to begin with. Actually got up showered all the booze sweats off and am i eating first time I've done that in a few days......i am very nervous but i have no choice better so be uncomfortable then keep living in this booze fog. I know i am gonna hate myself for awhile but i also know that if i don't take these steps its gonna just keep getting worse!

CupofJoe

Glad you're here! I hope that this is the beginning of a better life for you.

Yeah, it can be scary (I was terrified to go to meetings at first), but it helped me to think that continuing to drink was much scarier. It turned out to be not scary at all. People are nice, welcoming, they want to help. I think my addicted mind was threatened and it felt like *I* was threatened. I wasn't. I was liberated when I quit drinking and I think you will be, too.

I hope you have a good experience at the meeting and hope you'll check back in and let us know how it went.

Good wishes to you!

MLD51

I hope the AA meeting goes well.When I went to my first one I was scared until I got through the doors. Everyone was so nice and welcoming and once everyone started telling their stories, I knew I was in the right place. Their stories were a lot like mine. I didn't feel so alone anymore.

WhoDeyPI

Nothing embarrassing about admitting you have a problem and asking for help. I'm an alcoholic, an addict, I'm not ashamed of that, and I'm extremely proud that I asked for help. You can't do it alone, and you don't have to.

Twistedthistle

Yeah i am coming to the conclusion that i can't do this on my own. Ive tried so many times and failed miserably everytime. Even just hearing that other people have been through similar things has me and have quit gives me hope. I feel so alone and don't really have anyone to talk to who has been through this....well not true my father but we aren't close and he has the if we don't talk about it attitude. Haha probably where i get it from. I am going to look into some out patient treatment to. I feel like i am going to need more help then what just meetings can offer. The last 4 years my drinking as just spiraled out of control. Not that it was good before but it wasn't to the point i would wake up and start drinking again and it is now. And ya know what that is a really ****** thing.

Guener

When I really understood how not alone I was/am, things definitely felt better and more manageable. People in AA really are welcoming in my experience, it's not like you're being viewed as the piece of crap that you feel that you are. If you keep going back that makes them happy for you. Maybe you will feel that AA is the right place for you, and maybe not over time, but it is a great place to find yourself. Nice job on deciding to go.

Delilah1

Hi Twisted,

I'm glad you're here and posting. Going to a meeting is a good start, and posting here daily would be helpful too.

Why don't you join the March of 2019 class, you'll have the support of others who are committing or recommitting to sobriety this month. You can also join the 24 hour thread, I have a little over three years sober and check im there daily.

You may want to check out some of Buckley's threads. He dealt with a similar situation and used it as a turning point. His story is very inspirational.

I found focusing on making healthy choices for my body and mind a better approach than "I can't drink," which had been the approach I'd had in past attempts at sobriety. Some things that really help me:
-Reading and posting here daily

-Walking outdoors each day, something about the combination of nature and exercise

-Mindfulness, I have done some reading, and used some apps. Staying focused on the present, and what I can control has been one of my biggest tools.

-Reading books by people who have overcome alcoholism. There is a thread on this site that lists many great titles.

For today, focus on today. Drink lots of water, get out for a walk if you're up to it, contact a lawyer. Spend some time on here.

Tomorrow do the same.

You can do this, you have the opportunity to create a whole new future for yourself starting today.

Hevyn

Twisted - let us know how it goes. We care.

Twistedthistle

So i drove to the meeting and it was cancelled, no power i guess. Got to love living in the middle of no where. Then came home to my ex's new girl texting me like crazy from his phone. Drunk of course and i guess he was passed out. Which of course just made me more depressed then i already am. But i am not drinking maybe crying awhile but not drinking. Definitely gelt the flare up for a moment there i am not gonna lie.

fini

well, good for you for going.
and many of us found we needed more than meetings, and that is what hopefully you will hear at the next one you go to. as far as AA, it is the suggested program that is the solution.
glad you are sober and here.

Twistedthistle

Thank you! I found another one to go to tomorrow. I went at that was a very nerve racking moment but i did it and tomorrow is a new day.

fini

yes, i hear you on the nerve-wracking.
my first meeting was a LifeRing one, and it took all i had to go.
once i had done it, it turned out i wanted more

AtomicBlue

Just checking in to see how the meeting went? Awesome progress so far!

Twistedthistle

It was interesting. Not inviting like everyone said. No one spoke to me but at least i went. Just super depresses today. But i am allowed

AtomicBlue

That sucks no one talked to you. Did they know you were new? There can definitely be some duds. I hope you try another. Kudos for going. Should be proud of yourself for doing so. I hear you on the depression.

Twistedthistle

Pretty sure they new they all semmed to know each other so i just sat there in the corner and listened.

Ghostlight1

That's pretty much what I did for the first ten meetings. I was afraid to talk or say anything.
I was pretty much left alone. Which was fine. I'm a pretty quiet guy around strangers.
I didn't speak a peep for quite awhile. But I did relate so much to the other people speaking there.
Take it at your own pace. Speak when you want to.
I'm so glad you went. Proud of you, if that's okay.

Twistedthistle

Thank you

MantaLady

Put his number on block on your phone so you will not receive any messages and he or she cannot contact you. xx

ReadyAtLast

I was just going to say the same thing. Change the things you can control. You have enough problems, you don't need other people's.