When to tell new boyfriend or girlfriend that you are a recovering alcoholic.
Not Alone
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: South East UK
Posts: 1,513
I've always been in relationships with people who knew I was an addict however I started dating a girl about 18 months into recovery once.
She was a student and I'm pretty sure I told her I didn't drink when I first started messaging her. I'm also pretty sure that I told her it was for 'medical reasons' rather than telling her I was in recovery.
So a couple of months in I relapse and a couple of months after that I'm lying on the floor of a B&B I'm Hastings completely off my trolley telling her I've been to rehab and I'm supposed to be clean and sober.
Needless to say we split up not long after. I don't blame her as I was a complete mess at the time.
My current partner knows I'm using at the moment and I'm planning on telling her I'm getting into recovery too.
She was a student and I'm pretty sure I told her I didn't drink when I first started messaging her. I'm also pretty sure that I told her it was for 'medical reasons' rather than telling her I was in recovery.
So a couple of months in I relapse and a couple of months after that I'm lying on the floor of a B&B I'm Hastings completely off my trolley telling her I've been to rehab and I'm supposed to be clean and sober.
Needless to say we split up not long after. I don't blame her as I was a complete mess at the time.
My current partner knows I'm using at the moment and I'm planning on telling her I'm getting into recovery too.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2019
Posts: 141
Originally Posted by AmbyMarie 
This is how I feel too. My current boyfriend is amazing and very supportive and is also now a non drinker. He used to drink when he was younger but just “outgrew” it. He knows I don’t drink and I told him I will never drink again as I don’t like where it leads me. It’s a non issue for him and he respects me 100%. We are getting serious, and I don’t know how much more to tell him or if I need to give all the gory details🙄. It’s never really brought up as we both don’t drink, and he totally respects the fact that I won’t take a sip again, just not sure how much more I need to disclose. I’m in recovery from serious binge drinking, and he is aware of my stance on things, but it’s not really brought up anymore. I think as the sober months and years build up, maybe this won’t be something I think about as much anymore?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 1,533
Being AF is the most important thing in my life. I'd first try to find someone that shared an AF life. Otherwise I would have to tell them. I wouldn't be able to jeopardize my personal freedom from alcohol. The older I get the more proud I am of it too... So it just feels natural to say it and be proud of who I am. Best of luck... It is tricky I know.
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