MythOfSisyphus

I've really been wandering around in my own head today. Honestly I'm trying to understand why this has hit me so hard. In many ways I felt like he was a kindred spirit to me. Like William I sometimes think I feel too much and perhaps overthink things. And I to worry too much about things outside of my ability to control. Bill was greatly concerned and worried about the path that the US has been heading down the last couple years.

I had some great PM messages with him over the years. There was strength and wisdom in abundance with Bill but also a vulnerability. I always felt the desire to comfort and reassure him that everything would be fine even though I have no such assurance myself. I wished for peace for him, and hopefully he found it.

I've been pretty open about the fact that I am agnostic/atheist. Bill seemed not to super religious but quite spiritual. In the last couple years he began to speak a bit more about God and what was going to happen when he died. That's something everyone has to ponder but at his age and with his health in decline it seemed to take on a greater sense of urgency; it's as though he had all the puzzle pieces but wasn't quite sure how they all fit together. My own father passed away seven years ago and in his last years he went through the same kind of transformation. A comedian once said that the hardest thing for an atheist must be feeling grateful and having no one to thank! I disagree; the worst thing is being angry and having no one to blame.

Although I only knew him from posts and PMs I had the same sense. A kind of finality or rather resignation was in his "voice". His posts were often poignant observations of the beauty he saw in his day mixed with weary ruminations on his failing body.

I am beginning to see that selfishness is the problem here, my selfishness. I wanted to hear more of his unique voice, to have a few more conversations with such a remarkable man. I wish I could have said goodbye, although I don't suppose it would have helped anyone but me.


That's the land I'm trying to reach now. Intellectually I understand that he had a great run; 90-some-odd-years, with pretty decent health for much of it, that's a lot more than one could generally hope for. But if a spoonful of honey is sweet, wouldn't a gallon be sweeter? I suppose we all want more but to each thing there is a season.

But I do want to celebrate his life not mourn his passing. He helped so many here! His was a great example on so many levels.

Thanks for all you gave us! Godspeed to you, Bill!

FBL

A gentleman and a scholar.

Rest In Peace, Bill.

venuscat

Oh MOS, I so understand.....I woke up today so sad.....my mum and dad, my auntie, Kathy, Bill.....so many amazing people I did not have enough time with.

Fearlessat50

I don’t remember Bill. I haven’t been around as long as many of you. It is so hard to lose inspirational people. I’m sorry for those of you who were close to him. The spirit never dies. It lives on in those left behind. RIP Bill Painter.

MythOfSisyphus

My recovery has been amazing! It's fair to say that my life today would have been unrecognizable to the drunk MoS. Yet for all the things I've accomplished I've not done a great job of building relationships IRL. Work is great and I have a couple of close friends but family is all far away and I'm not doing a great job of keeping in touch. There's a low-grade loneliness in my life (which is otherwise going fine). I imagine that's why Bill seemed such a kindred spirit as he spoke often of loneliness.

I need to reach out more, to build relationships, to connect on a human level IRL. Bill's life and his passing have helped reinforce that.

Losing people probably isn't supposed to be easy. But I am going to try to celebrate him and his life more.

Dee74

I think the best any of us can do is create a legacy - a way of living on after we;re gone. For some people that's children, or a life's work - a book a song, art, photographs...for some it's posts on a forum like this.

I feel comforted by the fact that Bill's contributions are still here and will be read by many in the future - just like CarolDs, Laurie6781s, Robby Robots Gilmers and a host of others I miss.

D

venuscat

We are blessed by those who cross our paths.....sometimes so much so that it is just overwhelming to know that they are gone....but this void for me is another blessing.....because I did so much damage to myself that the fact that I am alive and loving all of you....meeting some of you....and marrying one of you .....well, wow.....I am indeed blessed.

We have to face the pain of losing.....but it is only because we love so deeply. That is a very good thing. ♥

PurpleKnight

Bill was such a gentleman . . . I always loved his posts, always very insightful . . .

jryan19982

I'm sorry to hear the news. Bill was 91 it seems and lived a good life. I can only hope that live to be that old and wise. When my great grandmother died at 103 she said at the end, "Dont be sad celebrate the good times because I will be living those good times in heaven I can see my husband, my mother, my sister, and my kids. I'll be just fine so dont even shed a tear." But man get in between her and some steamed shrimp then watch out!

RIP and enjoy living those good times again.

miko67

Meraviglioso

Am missing Bill today, so much. Yesterday I was walking through Piazza Shelley, which is where the body of the poet Shelley washed up after a terrible storm in which he was caught in his boat. Bill loved this fact and often spoke of his sister (whom he lost to suicide) who wrote her dissertation on the poet Shelley. There is a neat little restaurant I like to eat at, located right there in the back corner of the piazza. There is not much to the piazza, it is nice and all, but really not much there. One small monument and some trees. There is a museum at the back, the former home of Napoleon's sister, Pauline. But I always tried to find new angles and new things to photograph and send to him. He loved it, even the boring pictures of the trees in the piazza. He had such a passion for English literature. I think his sister inspired him in this.

brighterday1234

I always got a great deal from Bill’s posts and he was a classic example of an “old timer” inspiring others through their words and action. Sad to read of his passing but his message will be carried for years to come.

Also massively sad to read of Robby Robots passing. I was unaware of this until I just read Dee’s post and he was another person who had a powerful and inspiring message of recovery. I admired his posts years ago and was a positive force in my recovery.

The beauty of getting recovered is that you leave a wonderful positive legacy behind 🙏

Midwest1981

venuscat

Mera.....what a beautiful post honey....I am glad you knew Bill so well....he was incredibly special huh?

And BD and Midwest....hi.... s

chicory

I have been reading old emails from Bill, and he sent some wonderful photos, of places he visited during his lifetime, and of his Casablanca Lilies, of which he was so proud.
He had a website, under a pseudonym, and if allowed, and if desired, I can share the link. Bill did so much to help others, and he is going to be so missed here. I am just glad that I knew him , just a little bit.
He sent a few poems, too, which if I understood him correctly, he wrote himself, and they are so beautiful. I believe that he is sitting in the sunshiny place with his beloved spaniels, waiting for us, too.
I do want to share one, especially. I think Bill would be pleased.


Know’st thou the land?
(Kennst du das Land?)

Know’st thou the land?
The land where the dogs go?
There! There! Up in the sunlit meadows
Where it’s always a late Spring afternoon.

There they lie, by pools of tears we shed for them,
Their feathered tails thumping the warm grass
Eying the furtive rabbit and the darting squirrel
Giving at times a joyful chase but never kill.

For none can kill these creatures, long since dead,
Home now at last, with the dogs, lying there in the warm grass
Home, free from hurt and old age pain,
Free to rest there in the warm sun

For they will rest, patiently, and wait for you
Always their love, remembering you
And, in the midnight hours, you will feel them watching,
Guarding you from harm, as all good dogs do.

And suddenly, when you least expect it,
You will be with them
And, glimpsing you afar off, they will come
Wagging their tails in greeting

Saying “It has been too long”
But then again, “It has not been long at all!”

Know’st thou the land?
The land where the dogs go?
There! There! Up in the sunlit meadows
Where it’s always a late Spring afternoon.

saoutchik

That was a beautiful poem!

Thanks chicory.

brighterday1234

suki44883

That poem made me cry. Thank you for sharing.

least

I like to think of Bill, in a sunny meadow, lying with his dogs.

thomas11

The world needs more people like Bill. He was a special guy.