sweetichick

I am terri to even send them a letter. Constant break in and things going missing will follow. I have lived I this for 16 years. Maybe I is not just worth it. Sobriety first. Happy to read opinion on this. It has been quiet the past couple of months. Want that to continue. My house is not secure

DontRemember

You've asked me to not reply to your threads because "I'm rude"..BUT..you shouldn't reach out to your children until you get sober for a substantial amount of time and can prove your sober self/lifestyle to them. All the self caused chaos is just exhausting to ANYONE..imagine how they feel. How would you feel if your parent was continually doing what you're continually doing? .how about you reach out for self-help with your problem? Rude or not..I don't care..how are your "17 and 19yr old kids" going to help you when you won't do the work/commit to help(ing) yourself? Do you not see how selfish that is? I'm not trying to be an ass,but..you have to wake up and stop with the self pity and drinking.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=foj3lB7vtDo

This will be my last reply to your threads..until you get help.

Stayingsassy

When you’re still drinking, it’s hard to tell what’s true and what’s paranoia.

I remember those days. Don’t miss them a bit.

Dee74

I think you need to focus on your recovery right now,

The way to build bridges is to be the best you can be, and I don;t think any of us can be that person while we're drinking., even if it's not every day.

Get yourself together first, sweetichick.

D

sweetichick

Thank you all for your replies. I will follow your advice and leave it for now. Thanks don't remember for that song. It reminded me that I was still the same when I was married. Thank you everyone.

Delilah1

Getting sober definitely needs to be your priority. Once you have a good amount of sober time under your belt you can begin to think of the best way to try to re-establish a relationship with them. That may be best done through the support of a family counselor.

There is no reason you cannot write them letters you do not send as part of your recovery. Express your love for them, and also what you would like to see the relationship look like when you are sober.

The biggest thing you are going to need to remember is even once you're sober it will take time for them to explore having a relationship with you, and patience is something that will be important for you to show.

These are all things you can work on now with a counselor who can support you in your own recovery.

Anna

It's really hard to see clearly when you're drinking and really hard to make the best decisions for your life. I hope that you focus on your recovery.

NerfThis

I will echo other's comments and say that based on all of your threads (I tend to read them, but I don't post in them as all the best advice is already given by others each time) there should be absolutely NOTHING higher on your list than your recovery. Your only priority for now should be putting absolutely everything you have into getting sober.

sweetichick

It's going t be a horrific fight to stay sober. The insomnia panic attacks and worrying about anything and everything. I will make it though. I have to or I am in the grave.

sweetichick

Thanks for all your replies. I might put off sending them a card until my head is thinking more clearly.

Helianthus

I am struggling badly with anxiety amongst other things and Dee gave me this link which I'm going to work through. Maybe it could help you too?

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...f-respite.html (Relief and Respite)

Fearlessat50

Thinking of you, Sweeti. I agree with others that it’s best to focus on your recovery for now.

sweetichick

Thanks Heln for that link. Lots of great stuff there.

Delilah1

How are you doing today Sweeti? You should have a few days of sobriety under your belt now. Have you figured out a goodvrwcovery support for yourself?

sweetichick

I am feeling a little better thanks Delilah. Still doing AA meetings.

Delilah1

Good!❤️

DreamCatcher17

Sweeti-
My mom is a practicing alcoholic like yourself and whenever she sends me a card I can tell she had been drinking while writing it. It is disgusting and I do not trust a single word written in that letter, as she sits there in her haze of drunk. The card and the words are meaningless. It sends this urge throughout my entire body or hatred and rage, which makes me NEVER to want to have a relationship with her. Every word written brings me back to my childhood and how she always chose the bottle or the party over me, and so many more.

I share this with you so you know what it is like as a child of an alcoholic to receive something when the person sending it is not of a healthy mind.

Your kids could be different, but it really doesn't sound like it with what you have shared about them.

Work on you, get and be sober and then in time maybe they will see the change in you until then it is a waste of energy.

Blessings,
DC

Hawkeye13

I do think that there is every chance of re-establishing a relationship with them if you can work a consistent program of sobriety--

I'm also the child of alcoholic, and I know that if my mom had chosen to get sober and stay that way, I would have loved to reconnect with her despite the pain of the past.

It is a goal worth working for

ReadyAtLast

I hope you are doing ok and good to see you checking in.

CupofJoe

Was thinking of you this morning and hope you're doing well. Early sobriety can be difficult. I hope you're sticking close to people who are helping you and taking care of yourself.