Weekender Thread 02-05 November 2018
Sober since October
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: In the world in my eyes...Somewhere I've never been before...
Posts: 7,355
I got hit by a very cruel and ugly episode of heavy depression. Didn't see it coming at all.
And my therapist is away for a week. Great timing.
And my therapist is away for a week. Great timing.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 83
Hello. I would like to join this weekender thread.
I am on day three and my husband is going to be away for the weekend. (A little nervous being alone) but he drinks too so in one way it might be easier.
I have to stay alcohol free (I like that better than the word sober)
i have regular blackouts when I drink and I don’t want to be the cause of someone’s worst nightmare.
Im sick with a bad cold and now an earache and it just snowed overnight so I just want to stay inside where it’s warm.
I am on day three and my husband is going to be away for the weekend. (A little nervous being alone) but he drinks too so in one way it might be easier.
I have to stay alcohol free (I like that better than the word sober)
i have regular blackouts when I drink and I don’t want to be the cause of someone’s worst nightmare.
Im sick with a bad cold and now an earache and it just snowed overnight so I just want to stay inside where it’s warm.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 1,137
Hi weekenders, long time no see!
Sorry for just dropping in and out like I do these days. Now I’m logged in on my phone again (let’s see if that helps) so I can post and read while on the train. Which I am right now. I’m melting cause I insisted on wearing my new jacket which was my 2 years present to myself. It’s a black zip up hoodie made with a layer of Kevlar, lol! See what I did here? Bit of an unnecessary purchase as I’m not a biker but it wasn’t that expensive and I’m one of the most accident prone people I know, even in sobriety, so maybe a protective Kevlar layer in my gear is helpful!
I’m on my way to the meeting where I can pick up my chip and I’m so nervous! Eeek!
Oh and congrats Vinny!
Sorry for just dropping in and out like I do these days. Now I’m logged in on my phone again (let’s see if that helps) so I can post and read while on the train. Which I am right now. I’m melting cause I insisted on wearing my new jacket which was my 2 years present to myself. It’s a black zip up hoodie made with a layer of Kevlar, lol! See what I did here? Bit of an unnecessary purchase as I’m not a biker but it wasn’t that expensive and I’m one of the most accident prone people I know, even in sobriety, so maybe a protective Kevlar layer in my gear is helpful!
I’m on my way to the meeting where I can pick up my chip and I’m so nervous! Eeek!
Oh and congrats Vinny!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 543
Originally Posted by MidnightBlue 
I got hit by a very cruel and ugly episode of heavy depression. Didn't see it coming at all.
And my therapist is away for a week. Great timing.
And my therapist is away for a week. Great timing.
Also, I am feeling anxious about the mid-terms in the US. It's easy to get triggered when seeing the commercials, ads, news stories, etc. I just need to vote on Tuesday and let the other pieces fall in place.
We just need to remember that alcohol intensifies the symptoms of depression and anxiety.
Mr
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: FRANCE
Posts: 5,230
Welcome to the weekender Rd2quit, hopeforme, and teejay. It's a great thing to see a sober weekend taking off. Depressed, happy, anxious, sad, awake, tired.... anyway you spend the weekend will be a million times worse if you drink or drug...
Courage MB we all know that you got oodles of it.
Nice to see you Kevlarsjal
Time for tagliatelle carbonara
Courage MB we all know that you got oodles of it.
Nice to see you Kevlarsjal
Time for tagliatelle carbonara
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
You're gonna be okay, Midnight. You're made of stardust.
I got a little skeered earlier in the week when I started worrying about the what-ifs.
Luckily I talked myself off that ledge.
Stardust.
Seems like I've been waiting for five hours for my dryer to dry. Any time now would be good. I have some grocery shopping to do and a walk to take!
I got a little skeered earlier in the week when I started worrying about the what-ifs.
Luckily I talked myself off that ledge.
Stardust.
Seems like I've been waiting for five hours for my dryer to dry. Any time now would be good. I have some grocery shopping to do and a walk to take!
Sober since October
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: In the world in my eyes...Somewhere I've never been before...
Posts: 7,355
Stardust, you say, Bim...
I don't quite a fan of "sober" as definition of my current lifestyle.
I prefer "unspelled".
It reminded me of "Snow Queen" fairy tale when splinters of the troll-mirror get into a boy's heart and eyes. The boy (his name is Kai) becomes cruel and aggressive. He sees the world warped and deformed.
His friend Gerda though made a long way to find him at the Snow Queen's palace. The Snow Queen is a nobody's fool and gave a poor guy a ridiculous task to use pieces of ice to form characters and words. If he is able to form the word the Snow Queen she will set him free and give him a pair of skates.
Kai is "under the influence", so he is wasting his life composing words out of ice for some stupid reward.
Gerda's love eventually sets him free.
So, somewhere along the way I got this piece of troll-mirror in my eye and believed that I need alcohol to connect to life.
I was trying to compose my life out of shattered pieces and believed it was a life.
When I liberated myself of this spell I finally became free.
I don't quite a fan of "sober" as definition of my current lifestyle.
I prefer "unspelled".
It reminded me of "Snow Queen" fairy tale when splinters of the troll-mirror get into a boy's heart and eyes. The boy (his name is Kai) becomes cruel and aggressive. He sees the world warped and deformed.
His friend Gerda though made a long way to find him at the Snow Queen's palace. The Snow Queen is a nobody's fool and gave a poor guy a ridiculous task to use pieces of ice to form characters and words. If he is able to form the word the Snow Queen she will set him free and give him a pair of skates.
Kai is "under the influence", so he is wasting his life composing words out of ice for some stupid reward.
Gerda's love eventually sets him free.
So, somewhere along the way I got this piece of troll-mirror in my eye and believed that I need alcohol to connect to life.
I was trying to compose my life out of shattered pieces and believed it was a life.
When I liberated myself of this spell I finally became free.
Member
Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 91
Hi everyone, just wanted to check in! I’m working at the moment (voluntary) so I’m keeping occupied and busy. Congrats Vman! That’s a great achievement so well done!
Rainy horrible night here in Dublin, finish the shift at 10 so it will be straight home to bed . Have a Good Friday night guys, I’ll be checking in to read your posts and thanks for the support!
Charli
Rainy horrible night here in Dublin, finish the shift at 10 so it will be straight home to bed . Have a Good Friday night guys, I’ll be checking in to read your posts and thanks for the support!
Charli
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
Welcome, newcomers!
Congratulations, MantaLady! Just keep your eyes straight ahead and put one foot in front of the other and you will methodically achieve what you would hope to achieve on your new job (I hope your criminal record was far enought in the bast that they don't rescind the offer). You will relax and get the hang of things fast if you start methodically and don't let your mind get ahead of itself.
Congratulations, MantaLady! Just keep your eyes straight ahead and put one foot in front of the other and you will methodically achieve what you would hope to achieve on your new job (I hope your criminal record was far enought in the bast that they don't rescind the offer). You will relax and get the hang of things fast if you start methodically and don't let your mind get ahead of itself.
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 8,762
Hi everyone
Welcome to the newcomers, this is a great place to be
Manta that’s soooo awesome! Well done! You’re going to be fabulous. I know exactly what you mean about those demons telling you you’re not good enough. But they’re like the AV. LIARS!! I have them whispering to me too, causing escalating anxiety, because I too am starting on a new adventure starting out on my own looking for independent work rather than working for a company, which is scaring the daylights out of me
I barely slept last night thinking of all the worst case scenarios. But we have to shut down that little (or loud) voice that creates doubt and anxiety. I sometimes think it’s just the AV in disguise... or maybe the AV’s close cousin. Either way it’s not helpful at all, so we need to banish it along with the AV. Good luck Manta, I reckon you’ll nail it
((((MB)))) that sucks.
I get hit with waves of depression myself. I told my therapist yesterday that underlying absolutely everything in my life at the moment, is a such deep and overwhelming sadness and sense of futility that I’m really struggling not to be pulled down into that familiar black hole of depression and despair. She asked me what is it that is the most important thing to me in my life, and I said my family. She said that as well as behaving in positive ways (exercise, healthy food choices, getting on with doing things I normally enjoy etc ) I should focus on creating time/opportunity to plan and travel to family events/visits to spend time with my family. In other words, find ways to increase my focus on what’s important to me rather than what’s missing (Mum and Dad), even though it’s all linked, I still have other family who are still here and also hurting. We can provide support and comfort for one another and the connection may help improve my seemingly constant low mood of late. I know grief is a process but knowing the theory doesn’t always help in reality
Sometimes I just don’t want to get out of bed and I have to force myself. A bit like this morning. But I’m off to a yoga class now (Sat morning here), I don’t really feel like going but I know I’ll feel better if I go, even if it’s temporary. I hope it lifts for you soon MB.
See you later guys
Welcome to the newcomers, this is a great place to be
Manta that’s soooo awesome! Well done! You’re going to be fabulous. I know exactly what you mean about those demons telling you you’re not good enough. But they’re like the AV. LIARS!! I have them whispering to me too, causing escalating anxiety, because I too am starting on a new adventure starting out on my own looking for independent work rather than working for a company, which is scaring the daylights out of me
I barely slept last night thinking of all the worst case scenarios. But we have to shut down that little (or loud) voice that creates doubt and anxiety. I sometimes think it’s just the AV in disguise... or maybe the AV’s close cousin. Either way it’s not helpful at all, so we need to banish it along with the AV. Good luck Manta, I reckon you’ll nail it ((((MB)))) that sucks.
I get hit with waves of depression myself. I told my therapist yesterday that underlying absolutely everything in my life at the moment, is a such deep and overwhelming sadness and sense of futility that I’m really struggling not to be pulled down into that familiar black hole of depression and despair. She asked me what is it that is the most important thing to me in my life, and I said my family. She said that as well as behaving in positive ways (exercise, healthy food choices, getting on with doing things I normally enjoy etc ) I should focus on creating time/opportunity to plan and travel to family events/visits to spend time with my family. In other words, find ways to increase my focus on what’s important to me rather than what’s missing (Mum and Dad), even though it’s all linked, I still have other family who are still here and also hurting. We can provide support and comfort for one another and the connection may help improve my seemingly constant low mood of late. I know grief is a process but knowing the theory doesn’t always help in reality
Sometimes I just don’t want to get out of bed and I have to force myself. A bit like this morning. But I’m off to a yoga class now (Sat morning here), I don’t really feel like going but I know I’ll feel better if I go, even if it’s temporary. I hope it lifts for you soon MB.
See you later guys
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