Well that was strange
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Join Date: Aug 2016
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I think one realization that helped me quit was the understanding that yes, I could have just one or two drinks out with friends...but that was never, ever, what I truly wanted. I went through various iterations of only-drinking-with-other-people, only-two-drinks-max-out, etc., and that just kept the fire stoked enough that it was only a matter of time before I gave in to what I really wanted, a full-on binge. Sometimes in the form of pulling into the liquor store on the way home from "just one drink out with friends." I know that will *always* be what I really want from alcohol - complete obliteration - so I don't think I could ever transition into any sort of healthy drinking ever again.
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Join Date: Jun 2011
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I would write a comment echoing everything else here, but want to also point out that based on your story, you didn’t have just one, unless I read it wrong. You went out for one and then after the show had a few more. That’s not just one drink.
The AV gets into denial and rationalizing pretty quickly, and expertly.
The AV gets into denial and rationalizing pretty quickly, and expertly.
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Since everyone else has pointed out and shared really specific experience that is universal from what I have ever heard (so far this is and I plan it to be my one and only quit because I know I do not have another chance in me), I will add another question for your thoughts, Kath-
What good things have come from being sober? I'd venture that comparing those answers to the things that were bad enough that you quit in the first place would be worth it.
What good things have come from being sober? I'd venture that comparing those answers to the things that were bad enough that you quit in the first place would be worth it.
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Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 349
Originally Posted by Flower2327 
I think one realization that helped me quit was the understanding that yes, I could have just one or two drinks out with friends...but that was never, ever, what I truly wanted. I went through various iterations of only-drinking-with-other-people, only-two-drinks-max-out, etc., and that just kept the fire stoked enough that it was only a matter of time before I gave in to what I really wanted, a full-on binge. Sometimes in the form of pulling into the liquor store on the way home from "just one drink out with friends." I know that will *always* be what I really want from alcohol - complete obliteration - so I don't think I could ever transition into any sort of healthy drinking ever again.
My answer may have been different 10 years ago. But since I know that I’m no different than others, I can also appreciate that no matter where I am now on the alcoholic or “problem drinking”spectrum, if I continue to drink it will get worse, and the choice to abstain will become more challenging.
-bora
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Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Right here, right now
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This topic reminds me of a book I read in my early days: Allen Carr’s Easy Way To Control Alcohol, and his analogy between alcohol and a pitcher plant. These plants are at first attractive to insects because of their sweet nectar. But they are dangerous and become deadly. Any of us who drink, even moderately, are at varying degrees in the pitcher plant trying to make our way back up the slippery slope. Eventually, many aren’t able to climb out of it and just go deeper into the plant until they end up at the bottom (dead). That was such a good book.
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Join Date: Jun 2018
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Hi there,
I recall you being very concerned about potential health issues due to your heavy drinking. Perhaps it's no coincidence that a week after you get a clean bill of health you decide to start drinking again.
From the language of your post it seems that you might be trying to convince yourself (or your AV is) that staring to drink again is ok but deep down you might not be too sure about things.
I would tread the path ahead very carefully and wish you good luck with whatever you choose to do.
Take care,
John
I recall you being very concerned about potential health issues due to your heavy drinking. Perhaps it's no coincidence that a week after you get a clean bill of health you decide to start drinking again.
From the language of your post it seems that you might be trying to convince yourself (or your AV is) that staring to drink again is ok but deep down you might not be too sure about things.
I would tread the path ahead very carefully and wish you good luck with whatever you choose to do.
Take care,
John
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Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
Eek. Not for me. Just reading your post and hearing you stopped after one or two agitated me and gor me wanting another drink FOR you lol! Looking back that wasn't my experience at all. One drink for me set off the phenonam of craving. I guess the only way to find for sure is to continue to drink "socially" and see what happens. At least then you will know for sure
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Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 18
Thank you all for your responses. I have not taken what has been written lightheartedly. So, it’s two days later and I’ve had no craving for alcohol. I’ve just spent the time reflecting upon how and if it has impacted me.
John, I think you are possibly right in thinking that being given the clean bill of health gave me more of an acceptance to have a couple of drinks.
Oddly enough though, I didn’t want to drink myself into silliness. After those drinks, I stopped. I was offered more. But didn’t want one. And turned down being bought one. A couple of times. It was nice to share a few drinks socially but even nicer to go home and still feel great.
I guess I’m still trying to understand it. I don’t go out socially in a drinking environment a lot anyway because of my profession so it is not something that will be doing anytime soon. I just want to ensure that I’ve considered the effects on me and my future decisions before the next time I am in that situation. And to be honest, I can’t see myself ordering anything but a sparkling water again.
I’ve no need to have that drink(s).
John, I think you are possibly right in thinking that being given the clean bill of health gave me more of an acceptance to have a couple of drinks.
Oddly enough though, I didn’t want to drink myself into silliness. After those drinks, I stopped. I was offered more. But didn’t want one. And turned down being bought one. A couple of times. It was nice to share a few drinks socially but even nicer to go home and still feel great.
I guess I’m still trying to understand it. I don’t go out socially in a drinking environment a lot anyway because of my profession so it is not something that will be doing anytime soon. I just want to ensure that I’ve considered the effects on me and my future decisions before the next time I am in that situation. And to be honest, I can’t see myself ordering anything but a sparkling water again.
I’ve no need to have that drink(s).
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Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 176
Originally Posted by NerfThis
Plenty of people here have done the same.
I am 85 days sober. I quit because I had too many weekend occasions where I'd drink a lot on Friday, feel like I needed to drink on Saturday to kill the hangover, drink on Sunday then wake up depressed and anxious on Monday, trying not to have one drink to ease the pain.
I was also fully capable of going for dinner, having one cocktail with no desire for more. Had plenty of days where I didn't want or need to drink at all, or didn't need to drink more after having one. I only drank alcoholically on a few occasions.
Unfortunately, those few occasions where I'd drink like a maniac on the weekend were enough that I had to quit for good. Leaving the door open a little bit for 'sensible cocktails' means you'll one day kick the door wide open and wake up days later with crippling guilt. Don't fool yourself that you can drink normally just because you can sometimes. Everyone here could at some point, but it will get progressively worse. Stop now while you're aware of the problem rather than when you're too far in to turn back. You'll notice the alcoholic drinking days will only become more and more frequent. Mine did. I wasted far too much time trying to moderate and understand why sometimes I drank normally and other times didn't. The fact is I didn't always drink normally, so that was enough to know I can't drink at all.
I am 85 days sober. I quit because I had too many weekend occasions where I'd drink a lot on Friday, feel like I needed to drink on Saturday to kill the hangover, drink on Sunday then wake up depressed and anxious on Monday, trying not to have one drink to ease the pain.
I was also fully capable of going for dinner, having one cocktail with no desire for more. Had plenty of days where I didn't want or need to drink at all, or didn't need to drink more after having one. I only drank alcoholically on a few occasions.
Unfortunately, those few occasions where I'd drink like a maniac on the weekend were enough that I had to quit for good. Leaving the door open a little bit for 'sensible cocktails' means you'll one day kick the door wide open and wake up days later with crippling guilt. Don't fool yourself that you can drink normally just because you can sometimes. Everyone here could at some point, but it will get progressively worse. Stop now while you're aware of the problem rather than when you're too far in to turn back. You'll notice the alcoholic drinking days will only become more and more frequent. Mine did. I wasted far too much time trying to moderate and understand why sometimes I drank normally and other times didn't. The fact is I didn't always drink normally, so that was enough to know I can't drink at all.
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: SF Bay Area, CA
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Kath, Just like Green Sweater said in the post, that is what happens to me almost exactly. In fact, I was sober for about a year and I decided I could drink moderately and be ok. I did drink moderately for about a year, started with a drink or two once in a while, then once a week, then just one or two everyday, next thing I know I am full blown all out drinking alcoholically, which for me also can lead to drugs. Every time I would slip back into full blown drinking. It's the A/C desperately trying to get me to drink, but my mind could really drag it out and let me think I was normal. Yeah, right. I knew deep down I probably wouldn't be able to handle it.
I wish you the best of luck. Aly ♥
I wish you the best of luck. Aly ♥
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
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The thing about alcoholism, at least for me, is that it isn't something to "understand." When I focused on why or if or whether drinking was a problem, I kept progressing in my disease. If you are an alcoholic like me, accepting that it just IS has been critical.
I will just add that folks with a normal, truly take it or leave it ability to drink don't spend a lot of time thinking or worrying or "trying to understand" anything about their drinking.
I will just add that folks with a normal, truly take it or leave it ability to drink don't spend a lot of time thinking or worrying or "trying to understand" anything about their drinking.
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Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 524
I'll just add that, from your opening post...drinking 75cl of vodka ever 24 hours or so....I mean...you are going to end up back drinking like that again if you keep feeding the idea that you can drink normally again because you've had a couple of months sober.
The thing is, everytime you have a drink, you are feeding your addiction monster inside of you which will get stronger. After a period of sobriety you may not realise it, but you are actually working incredibly hard to drink normally. A person without a drinking problem won't self evaluate after having a couple of drinks and pat themselves on the back going "You did well there. See you can do it".
unfortunately you WILL slip back into your old pattern because eventually you'll let your guard down and get really drunk.
It really is essential that you take idea of drinking normally ever again off the table. I know it's a struggle to accept that we can't be like normal drinkers and just enjoy the odd drink, but it's just the way it is.
The thing is, everytime you have a drink, you are feeding your addiction monster inside of you which will get stronger. After a period of sobriety you may not realise it, but you are actually working incredibly hard to drink normally. A person without a drinking problem won't self evaluate after having a couple of drinks and pat themselves on the back going "You did well there. See you can do it".
unfortunately you WILL slip back into your old pattern because eventually you'll let your guard down and get really drunk.
It really is essential that you take idea of drinking normally ever again off the table. I know it's a struggle to accept that we can't be like normal drinkers and just enjoy the odd drink, but it's just the way it is.
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