Gerard52

63 days AF and thankful for it. For those struggling over first few days it does get easier the longer you stay sober.

Physical aspects are all resolved and day to day I am still stable not drinking. I have no attraction to go back and drink alone. Though I do wonder if I can drink socially in future.

yinzer

Good job, Gerard. Maybe build your new life around not drinking? Attempts at Drinking socially seems to lead most of us back in the hole.

lessgravity

Beautiful job. Congrats.

Hope you can come to terms with not drinking anymore, ever again.

Dee74

Hi Gerard

congrats on 9 weeks . It seems like a lifetime in many ways... but in another way its 63 days ...

Still pretty early in the unfolding ribbon of the rest of your life.

its my belief that if anyone's drinking has bought them to a place like SR, then it vital they accept they cannot control their drinking and never will.

I thought it all - I thought I could master my drinking by only drinking socially and when that proved too embarassing I thought I could master it by drinking only drinking alone.

Nope.

I thought I could master it by limiting it to weekends, and then to to at least Wednesdays with Monday and Tuesday off - at least for a while until my life got better.

Nope.

I thought I could control it by learning all about my addiction and what ,made me that way. I thought the wisdom of others on the net, forums, libraries and such might fill me and stop the desire in me for self destruction.

Nope.

I was willing to give just about every thing up...except drinking - that should have been a pointer to my problem,

No amount of time reset me.

No amount of time away from drinking taught me what a normal relationship to drinking is.

I have never known what that is.

I confused abstinence for control many many many times.
They are not the same thing - not ever.

Be smarter than me, Gerard - fight those persuasive thoughts.

D

Gerard52

I understands concerns from personal perspective on suggestion of taking a rain check on the decision on whether to be sober for ever.

I am where I am and prefer day to day not drinking than day to day drinking. That is huge difference this time.

Dee74

If I have to post it another hundred thousand times, I hope my experience is useful - if not to you, maybe someone else reading Gerard

I rarely resort to absolutes but this is so important...

the day I gave up on dreaming of ways to keep alcohol in my life, my life of freedom began...

anything less is not real freedom.

D

NerfThis

This sentence is unfortunately something I believe too many people have thought after a long stint of sobriety. Successfully abstaining for so long gives the false impression that because you've controlled yourself and not consumed at all, you can now somehow 'control' and moderate by only drinking on certain occasions.

Remember that not drinking at all is a LOT easier than trying to moderate when you do drink. The likelihood is you'll go into that social gathering some time in the future thinking 'Yes, I did XX amount of days sober and feel great. I've got this. I'm in control' then weeks, maybe days later you'll be back on the forums at square one.

63 days truly is a fantastic achievement. Congratulations! I'm on day 53 myself and I know that no matter how fantastic I feel right now, I can NEVER forget those occasions where I thought it was safe to moderate, because eventually that one casual drink always results in the same terrible path. Being sober for long means we sometimes forget why we're doing it or how difficult dealing with alcoholism was, but take one drink and you'll very, very quickly remember.

*EDIT* Apologies, but couldn't see all the replies above when I posted! I've basically repeated what Dee said, haha.