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Old 06-11-2018, 07:24 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Really dumb things my still drinking friends say to me,..


I stopped drinking alcohol 11 months ago. I have quit before, but this time I think it’s for real. I think it’s for good. I’ll get more into the reasons why in future posts, but I’ve had this current topic on my mind a lot lately.

Since I quit drinking, I’ve noticed some really dumb things my heavy drinker friends have said to me.

One of my almost daily drinker friends was going for a colonoscopy recently.
I asked her what she clear liquids she had picked up for her
prep the day before the procedure,

Her answer?
“White wine.”

(She usually drinks red wine)
This would actually be funny if it weren’t so sad.

I thought that was the dumbest thing I’d ever heard! I suppose maybe if I were still drinking heavily I might have thought that sounded like a fine plan.—to drink a bunch of booze the day before I was being put under to have a medical procedure done. But now that I’m sober, I thought WTF, what is wrong with her?

And then I realized that I used to be the same way. I’m so glad I’m making a turn around.

Thanks for listening.
Please share your own stories if you like...
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Old 06-11-2018, 07:42 AM   #2 (permalink)
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I wonder; why do you ‘think’ it’s for good this time?

11 months is a wonderful foundation for sobriety.

What do you think might help you support yourself in moving from ‘I think it’s for good this time’ to ‘I choose to live in sobriety’?

As for you post... I know as a drinker I often said and did things that celebrated alcohol and kept it ‘cool’ and ‘normal’ to avoid looking at it honestly.

When my friends say things like that now I usually smile and say some soft-worded version of ‘boy, I remember those days. I’m sure grateful they’re behind me’.

Carrying the message in this way can often be a hand reaching out to someone seeking freedom from alcohol.
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Old 06-11-2018, 08:05 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Congrats on 11 months Houndheart. I'll be honest, I don't really associate with my "drinking" friends anymore - they weren't really friends to begin with - just drinking partners.

And yeah, I'm sure I said a lot of pretty silly/dumb/outrageous things like that when I was drinking- in fact I know I did. I'm glad you are making some of the same realizations.

I'm glad you are here and look forward to some of your future posts and the issues you feel you might need help with -you'll find a wealth of support and understanding here.
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Old 06-11-2018, 08:37 AM   #4 (permalink)
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I have ulcerative colitis and go for colonscopes every 2 years. I actually drank vodka all day long as my "clear liquid". Next morning I was so dehydrated from prep and vodka that I couldn't get to the procedure. I felt like my heart was going to stop. Hope your friend wisens up.

But, that's not your problem Keep up the good work.

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Old 06-11-2018, 09:32 AM   #5 (permalink)
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That is just what drunks do - I don't judge. When I had oral surgery scheduled at 8am, that just meant I needed to start drinking at 1pm the day before.
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Old 06-11-2018, 03:08 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Oh hey again,
To FreeOwl,
I guess my choice of words left some question as to where I am in this process.
I’m done, I am sober and I am going to stay that way.
I quit in July because I had had enough.
Then I had an abdominal ultrasound in December for another reason and it showed fatty liver.
So....that just really solidified my resolve to stay sober and to get healthy,
I want to live.
Another dumb thing another friend recently asked me was if my liver could heal. I said that the doctor felt that it could.
Then she was curious if I had asked the doctor if I could start drinking again once my liver “regenerated”.
I said to her I don’t know why I would ask him that.
And I told her I felt that would be like going to the ER because you shot your foot and they fixed it up, and on the way out asking them if it would be ok to go home and shoot my foot again,.
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Old 06-11-2018, 03:14 PM   #7 (permalink)
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I’m glad you’re solidly set in the sober life.



Yup it’s funny and sad the degree to which drinking is woven into human lives..... that sort of query about drinking again once your liver regenerates is a clear example of how central to life alcohol is to many people.
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Old 06-11-2018, 03:18 PM   #8 (permalink)
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And other gal said to me over the weekend that she’s drinking the rest of the bourbon she bought for her date the night before because it’s not good to have it sitting around the house or she’ll drink it! I thought, now that’s an interesting thoughts pattern.
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Old 06-11-2018, 03:25 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Yup, it certain,y is very central to many peoples lives. I was there. I am so glad that I’m not now. The person who said that about drinking after liver regeneration had stopped drinking for five years and started back up two years ago. Too bad She did. I thought she had it kicked. I was sort of jealous that she had done it, but now she’s drinking again, and I’ve quit. I quit before but always knew I would someday take it back up. This time I don’t plan on that road again, I Look at the “accidental” discovery of my liver disease as a godsend,

And anyone who’s thinking that their liver is fine because their liver enzymes on their bloodwork are in normal range might wanna think again. My liver enzymes are perfect! And my liver is not...ultrasound and fibroscan proved that!
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Old 06-11-2018, 03:43 PM   #10 (permalink)
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I sometimes socialise with people who drink quite heavily. It's not a frequent thing for me but it happens from time to time.

A few weeks ago I was at a dinner party with 4 other women in their 40s and 50s, all senior in their professional careers and accomplished, all drinking quite a lot. One of them told a story of drinking to blackout - i.e. she could not remember much of what had happened the evening before, past a point. Everyone laughed and nodded like it was just a thing. She told stories of chaos: getting drunk and waking up in a strange bed with a man she met at a party, having to rush back home and pack in an hour to get onto a flight for a business trip, and so on. She also opened a fresh bottle of wine well after the others were done drinking.

I don't judge because that was once me.

I feel strong enough to go to events like this because I have been sober long enough that I am not even sorely tempted. Plus I always bring my own non-alcoholic beverage and drink that all night (watermelon flavoured kombucha... yum). But I really don't do it often. There is a witching hour to these things when suddenly all conversation becomes repetitive and silly and only enjoyable to those who are drinking.
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Old 06-11-2018, 04:32 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Hi All,

I'm back here but I'm still struggling. I will say that my one friend who is still drinking is frustrating me to no end. Now that we don't drink anymore it feels like a cloud has lifted and I didn't realize how negative she is. I feel like she liked when I was overweight, miserable and drunk. Now i noticed a big shift in our friendship. I have to limit my time around her and spend time with positive people.
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Old 06-11-2018, 04:39 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Never has the expression "that's a throw away comment" rung more true than in sobriety- my dad always says this with a shrug to things you should just dismiss as unimportant. I generally find people's comments funny or if mildly irritating, throw away comments indeed.

What is truly funny? The genuine laughter that can well up in an AA meeting. Sometimes there is just such a gem or a delivery that the whole room cracks up in that certain kind of hilarious recognition. That's the sound of recovery to me - priceless.
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Old 06-11-2018, 05:47 PM   #13 (permalink)
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I recently hung out with a friend I used to drink with and not only did he keep saying dumb things but he kept repeating the same dumb thing over and over. It was so annoying and sad. He was in a very compromised state. I felt sorry for him.

Last edited by gettingsmarter; 06-11-2018 at 05:47 PM. Reason: spelling
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Old 06-11-2018, 06:09 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Congratulations on 11 months!

I'm approaching 6 months sober, and I do occasionally get comments like, One of these days I'll get to see what you're like drunk! etc., when I'm out and order my diet coke or whatever. It's just a passing joke that I don't put any stock in, but I do think, no you won't, because when I was drunk, I was at home, alone, and miserable. No more.
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Old 06-11-2018, 07:31 PM   #15 (permalink)
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My favorite WTF came from a coworker, who told me her stepfather drank somewhere around a fifth of vodka a day, but always washed it down with green tea to minimize the health risks...
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Old 06-11-2018, 07:56 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Good one Arpeggioh.! That reminds me of something...and now I’m gonna rat myself out. 25 years ago when I was in Weight Watchers I used to count a glass of wine as a fruit exchange. Real healthy, huh?
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