11 months sober then I drank
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 561
My plan
1. I'm starting sessions with my therapist again, which has been sorely needed for over a year.
2. I'm going to work the steps with a sponsor. I began the steps during this past 11 months and got a sponsor but quit when I started a new job. My biggest weakness is keeping an appointment with a sponsor at night after a 9-10 hr workday. This parallels my tendency not to do anything after work because I'm SPENT. Anyone else struggle with this? Does this improve with more sober time?
3. Add a few things to my life that bring joy. I have an extremely emotionally taxing job. I come home drained every day then way overdrawn by the weekend. I gotta add some renewal activities and MAKE MYSELF do them even if I don't want to initiate.
Your comments are so helpful. They mean more to me than you know!
2. I'm going to work the steps with a sponsor. I began the steps during this past 11 months and got a sponsor but quit when I started a new job. My biggest weakness is keeping an appointment with a sponsor at night after a 9-10 hr workday. This parallels my tendency not to do anything after work because I'm SPENT. Anyone else struggle with this? Does this improve with more sober time?
3. Add a few things to my life that bring joy. I have an extremely emotionally taxing job. I come home drained every day then way overdrawn by the weekend. I gotta add some renewal activities and MAKE MYSELF do them even if I don't want to initiate.
Your comments are so helpful. They mean more to me than you know!
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Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Originally Posted by SportsFan15 
This parallels my tendency not to do anything after work because I'm SPENT. Anyone else struggle with this?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Florida., USA
Posts: 3,252
Hi Sportsfan. I think most of us can identify with a relapse. I congratulate you for coming back and resuming your sobriety journey. That's a huge step and for many, a difficult one. Your 11 months is not a waste. You've learned much and can carry that knowledge and experience toward future sobriety. 
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
I started back up drinking after nearly two decades of not drinking. Like CreativeThinker, there were tragedies and traumas and it kind of was a perfect storm of newly prescribed benzos, a job that was stealing my life away, deaths, romantic loss, and being diagnosed with a serious chronic illness.
Started as one glass of wine here and there, then one a day, then more, and you know the rest of the story. It ended with handles of vodka or rum. It took me seven years to get back to quitting, and that last year was more misery than I want to ever have again.
The first thing that had to go was my life-sucking job. "Courage to change the things I can." I'm just saying.
That was the beginning to getting back on track. Next I lost 70 pounds and got back into exercise. Good food. Eliminated some toxic "friendships."
Thing is, it was all about self-care. All of it. I got off ALL my prescribed drugs (for anxiety/depression/ADD, you name it I had a Rx for it.) Door #3 was a spiritual side and quitting drinking again.
Good luck with this. It's a worthwhile journey.
Started as one glass of wine here and there, then one a day, then more, and you know the rest of the story. It ended with handles of vodka or rum. It took me seven years to get back to quitting, and that last year was more misery than I want to ever have again.
The first thing that had to go was my life-sucking job. "Courage to change the things I can." I'm just saying.
That was the beginning to getting back on track. Next I lost 70 pounds and got back into exercise. Good food. Eliminated some toxic "friendships."
Thing is, it was all about self-care. All of it. I got off ALL my prescribed drugs (for anxiety/depression/ADD, you name it I had a Rx for it.) Door #3 was a spiritual side and quitting drinking again.
Good luck with this. It's a worthwhile journey.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 561
Originally Posted by biminiblue
I started back up drinking after nearly two decades of not drinking. Like CreativeThinker, there were tragedies and traumas and it kind of was a perfect storm of newly prescribed benzos, a job that was stealing my life away, deaths, romantic loss, and being diagnosed with a serious chronic illness.
Started as one glass of wine here and there, then one a day, then more, and you know the rest of the story. It ended with handles of vodka or rum. It took me seven years to get back to quitting, and that last year was more misery than I want to ever have again.
The first thing that had to go was my life-sucking job. "Courage to change the things I can." I'm just saying.
That was the beginning to getting back on track. Next I lost 70 pounds and got back into exercise. Good food. Eliminated some toxic "friendships."
Thing is, it was all about self-care. All of it. I got off ALL my prescribed drugs (for anxiety/depression/ADD, you name it I had a Rx for it.) Door #3 was a spiritual side and quitting drinking again.
Good luck with this. It's a worthwhile journey.
Started as one glass of wine here and there, then one a day, then more, and you know the rest of the story. It ended with handles of vodka or rum. It took me seven years to get back to quitting, and that last year was more misery than I want to ever have again.
The first thing that had to go was my life-sucking job. "Courage to change the things I can." I'm just saying.
That was the beginning to getting back on track. Next I lost 70 pounds and got back into exercise. Good food. Eliminated some toxic "friendships."
Thing is, it was all about self-care. All of it. I got off ALL my prescribed drugs (for anxiety/depression/ADD, you name it I had a Rx for it.) Door #3 was a spiritual side and quitting drinking again.
Good luck with this. It's a worthwhile journey.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 317
Scott, you are so worthwhile. Congratulations on your 11 months and on rebooting. Thank you for sharing your story as a cautionary tale to those of us who are a ways behind you down the sober road.
Bimini, I feel like I should print out your post and stick it on my memo board in case I get cocky in my sobriety and think that I can handle a glass here and there. Big thanks to both of you for sharing your experiences.
Bimini, I feel like I should print out your post and stick it on my memo board in case I get cocky in my sobriety and think that I can handle a glass here and there. Big thanks to both of you for sharing your experiences.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 322
Hugs and solidarity to you. I think a one day relapse where you then don't drink again for a period of time is a really bad thing cos your AV starts telling you 'see you can just drink as a one off!' then maybe you go a week or two, then have a drink, then another couple of weeks off and before you know it, the gaps are getting smaller and smaller. It starts undoing all of that work and determination you built up over those 11 months - amazing how quickly it happens. That's the cycle I've been stuck in for the past year really, having a good 30 or so days under my belt, having a relapse, having another week or so off then being like, okay, I *can* just drink occassionally if I stick like this... I never seem to learn. But I am learning now, and so are you.
Big hugs to you, let's do this x
Big hugs to you, let's do this x
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 561
1 year 5 months sober with AA!
I've found that I need AA face to face meetings, a sponsor, and step work to stay sober. I'm at 1 yr 5 months! The longest I've been is 1.5 yrs. It really is important to create a new life and fill the "void" with healthy hobbies and life-renewing activities. I'm still working on this!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,937
Originally Posted by SportsFan15
Thank you all so much for your notes. I'm looking forward to getting back online tonight to read them and reply. This community is special and has helped me so much with not allowing a slip to turn into a bender...you help shield the guilt/shame and I'm not able to use it as a reason/excuse/whatever to drink. I appreciate you.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,169
Originally Posted by SportsFan15
I've found that I need AA face to face meetings, a sponsor, and step work to stay sober. I'm at 1 yr 5 months! The longest I've been is 1.5 yrs. It really is important to create a new life and fill the "void" with healthy hobbies and life-renewing activities. I'm still working on this!
TRIGGERS
Triggers are traps. For me recognizing a trigger was enough to avoid the trap. I'm not sure that is a universal safeguard for everyone, however. But I think you have to do more than just create a new life, with new goals to fill the void. That's a good broad plan, but I don't think it's enough. You also have to pay attention to smaller details too. Those details are vital to creating that new life and filling the void. Trigger recognition is one of those details. Having a broader overall goal is fine, but the details will get you there.
Feeling like you are entitled to a drink or that you are strong enough to drink are triggers, whether it comes from doing well, or meeting with hard times, or if it's just something you never let go of. Not caring about a trigger is a trigger.
THE VOID
You can fill the void, or you can embrace it, or you can do a bit of both. There is nothing inherently wrong with a void. Many people feel the need to fill it. Just be careful what you fill it with, or just take it easy and embrace it as a quiet place to chill.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2019
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 308
You were sober for 330 days. You had a two day slip up. Nothing to be ashamed of and you won’t find any judgment at this site. Just friends who want to help.
Ask yourself how did you stay sober for 330 straight days and then ask what changed on those two days you weren’t? You may find a trigger you never knew you had. Just don’t get too down on yourself.
Ask yourself how did you stay sober for 330 straight days and then ask what changed on those two days you weren’t? You may find a trigger you never knew you had. Just don’t get too down on yourself.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 259
Hello and congrats on your sobriety!!! You know you can do it! In the past, when I had months sober and then slipped and drank I didn’t want to count it as day 1. Felt that would be too upsetting to me. However, it was a slippery slope because I would start up again slowly but surely. I now have 13 months continuous sobriety. Working through the steps, attending lots of meetings, and hanging out to do regular things with sober friends has been important this time. If I feel signs I reach out to these people. Sober people stay sober during the big ups and downs and stress of life so I needed to include them in a major way as friends. They offer great insight as does of course my sponsor.
Your sobriety time is your business. Having a sponsor helps too because what you say to them is confidential. You don’t need to tell the world your back to day one. It’s great you shared here. My sponsor tells me your only as sick as your secrets. I in fact told my sponsor about a past relapse a couple years ago because it was getting time for me to take a one year cake and I just couldn’t do it. In reality, no one judges or cares about you less if you slip or need to change your date. Those months/years you earned through hard work and they are always with you and your story. It’s your choice who you tell. When I opened up last after a short, like days, but bad in all ways relapse last November 2018 I got tremendous support from those around me and also talking of what lead up to the relapse helped others identify the signs. That’s really what we do, all help and support each other.
In my opinion the AA steps and a sponsor are great ideas. It’s a one day at a time program and we all have today. Think what you need to do to stay sober today. Maybe a meeting? I went to tons after relapse and go to 3 weekly now. You have done a great job putting together sober time!!! We all know in our heart our true story. The great things that happened that you were present for during your sobriety are yours forever! I don’t like the focus on continuous sobriety in AA personally because people with 10 years slip for a weekend and it seems unfair to have them raise their hand as being newly sober. Those people get many reaching out to them for needed support though and often speak of their long sobriety and what happened for a short time. People close to relapse run to them with their issues and want advice because they are close to relapse. The person who shares can save lives and does. We are all here to love and support and never to judge. Hell, I am hard enough on myself and could be judged harshly and have been judged by family and friends. I’ve had lots of consequences. I see AA as a support network, like this board, and we all care and don’t judge, yet offer advice.
Your sobriety time is your business. Having a sponsor helps too because what you say to them is confidential. You don’t need to tell the world your back to day one. It’s great you shared here. My sponsor tells me your only as sick as your secrets. I in fact told my sponsor about a past relapse a couple years ago because it was getting time for me to take a one year cake and I just couldn’t do it. In reality, no one judges or cares about you less if you slip or need to change your date. Those months/years you earned through hard work and they are always with you and your story. It’s your choice who you tell. When I opened up last after a short, like days, but bad in all ways relapse last November 2018 I got tremendous support from those around me and also talking of what lead up to the relapse helped others identify the signs. That’s really what we do, all help and support each other.
In my opinion the AA steps and a sponsor are great ideas. It’s a one day at a time program and we all have today. Think what you need to do to stay sober today. Maybe a meeting? I went to tons after relapse and go to 3 weekly now. You have done a great job putting together sober time!!! We all know in our heart our true story. The great things that happened that you were present for during your sobriety are yours forever! I don’t like the focus on continuous sobriety in AA personally because people with 10 years slip for a weekend and it seems unfair to have them raise their hand as being newly sober. Those people get many reaching out to them for needed support though and often speak of their long sobriety and what happened for a short time. People close to relapse run to them with their issues and want advice because they are close to relapse. The person who shares can save lives and does. We are all here to love and support and never to judge. Hell, I am hard enough on myself and could be judged harshly and have been judged by family and friends. I’ve had lots of consequences. I see AA as a support network, like this board, and we all care and don’t judge, yet offer advice.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2019
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 308
Originally Posted by VinnyMcM
You were sober for 330 days. You had a two day slip up. Nothing to be ashamed of and you won’t find any judgment at this site. Just friends who want to help.
Ask yourself how did you stay sober for 330 straight days and then ask what changed on those two days you weren’t? You may find a trigger you never knew you had. Just don’t get too down on yourself.
Ask yourself how did you stay sober for 330 straight days and then ask what changed on those two days you weren’t? You may find a trigger you never knew you had. Just don’t get too down on yourself.
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