biminiblue

It sounds like maybe an uninvolved third party might be a good idea? How about couples' counseling? You may have some issues, but sounds like they are at least somewhat warranted. Her language is abusive.

And yeah, clean up the dog poop!!

Sometimes it's as much about how I say things as what I say.

An Al Anon-ism:

"Say what you mean, mean what you say, but don't say it mean."

rjyerkes

Wow, your SO has a clear sense of monumental entitlement.

If she wants someone who does "man's work" then she should picnic near construction sites or logging camps and leave you the f*** alone. That's just my humble opinion.

Glad you're moving forward and can see her for her true self now. It's hard to see those things when we're drinking

You're doing a great job in a tough situation. Hang in there and keep focusing on yourself. A better life awaits!

Willow00

Hi 16, I didn’t initially respond because I’m new on here and I didn’t know if I could say anything worthwhile to help. I think you’re really strong being able to resist alcohol in such a trying situation on the homefront, so well done! Not having any support from your wife must be so hard, I know that I personally wouldn’t be able to stay in a situation like that, because I would just drink to deal with the emotional distress of it all. You need to do whatever it is you need to do, to get yourself well again. Your health is your priority.

I know alcohol has fuelled a lot of arguments with my husband in the past but he has never been disrespectful towards me. I may well have been disrespectful myself, so I am glad he is still here. But he is supportive of me not drinking. I didn’t think he was on board with me not drinking but yesterday he told me it was great that I haven’t had a drink for 2 weeks and that he’s going to stop too.

As for the depression, I have been taking a supplement sam-e and doing yoga, both of which I am pretty sure are helping me feel less awful. Everyone is different though. Keep trying till you find a better doctor. They’re definitely not all the same. I went through a few to find my current doctor.

markinny

good choice. she's toxic.

unfortunately some people will sabatoge a partners sobriety in the name of self-preservation. a clear minded partner may not work out so well for them.

I wouldn't waste any money on counceling it sounds like you have already wasted enough. these people don't change.

Yixi

Good morning 16yrs. Hope that things are calmer for you on the domestic front today. It does take 2 to make "argumentative crap" - however, it takes 2 to show respect to one another too. (My partner is retired now and used to be a computer programmer who worked from home - never in my most obstreperous s***ty moments when drinking would I have alluded to him as a lazy d**k head. That's just out of order).

Bimi suggested couples counselling and I think that this is a good idea if you both find something in the relationship worth saving. But if you don't feel that you can even be civil to one another then I think that a break is definitely a good move. Just my personal opinion. That way, if you do miss each other you can draw up a strategy to move forward together but if you genuinely find that you are better off apart, (it happens), then cut your losses. You will both enjoy life better that way and life's too short not too.

You haven't mentioned children - and if they're not in the equation right now then it really is a good time to take stock as it's a whole new ball game if they're around.

Congrats on staying sober . It helps enormously when you don't have poison in your system clouding your judgement. Take care and keep us updated. Yix x