Day 5 ... Off to hospital after self harming
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Join Date: Feb 2018
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Originally Posted by biminiblue 
There is a lot of good info on processing emotions online and in many self-help books or spiritual books. Whatever issues you have they are common to Man.
I wasn't able to sort through stuff at all when I was drinking. Give it some time and start some self-research. I think I read every self-help book published at one point. It all starts to make sense after a few of them.
I wasn't able to sort through stuff at all when I was drinking. Give it some time and start some self-research. I think I read every self-help book published at one point. It all starts to make sense after a few of them.
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Originally Posted by Dee74
?
If I said something to offend you, I'm sorry 16.
D
If I said something to offend you, I'm sorry 16.
D
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: East Coast, USA
Posts: 958
Hi 16years,
I read your posts and learn from them. I'm glad to see you back.
Having ones SO for support is so important. I depend so much on my husband and if I sensed he wasn't supporting me it would affect me greatly. I'm glad you suggested to your wife that changes may need to be made.
Wishing you the best.
-sb
I read your posts and learn from them. I'm glad to see you back.
Having ones SO for support is so important. I depend so much on my husband and if I sensed he wasn't supporting me it would affect me greatly. I'm glad you suggested to your wife that changes may need to be made.
Wishing you the best.
-sb
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Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,859
As I was reading through the threads, I recalled how helpful others here have reported CBT to be for them. Then I came to your post where you said that you were on the waiting list for CBT. Maybe you can talk with your doctor and see if you can be bumped up the waiting list given your present situation. I hope that is the case.
As so many above have said, your posts are always welcome, 16.
As so many above have said, your posts are always welcome, 16.
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Originally Posted by 16YearsDrunk
Thanks. Is there any you would recommend. I have a kindle and an unused amazon voucher that I need to spend.
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ependence.html (Books on Recovery, Spirituality & Codependence)
Ocean Lover!
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: You know nothing Jon Snow - UK
Posts: 2,604
Glad you got sorted 16 andfeeling calmer. I get exactly the issues your having with the NHS, sadly not having a healthcare system based on insurance and paid for with tax money mental health is not very well funded and it's a fight to get any treatment in this country. Just keep pestering your GP. x
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Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 83
What a horrible thing your SO said! Absolutely awful. Glad you told her things need to change.
I have a book suggestion that I didn't see on the list. Intimate Connections by David Burns, M.D. The title is a bit misleading. It's really all about overcoming our internal voices/assumptions.
It was life changing for me and my older brother. We call it "The Book" lol.
I cannot express enough how important it is to actually DO the exercises. That's the part that will give you the tools to make better choices and decisions.
A lot of self-help books are like the saying "give a man a fish". You feel good while reading it and get lots of needed validation but afterwards you're hungry again and left with nothing to move yourself forward. Intimate Connections teaches you how to fish.
It's gives us the ability to reason in a clear and practical manner and get out of our own heads and unhealthy belief systems.
Another great book is The Body Keeps The Score by Bessel van der Kolk, M.D. It's not so much about changing our behavior but more about the effect trauma and abuse have on us. We are affected a a cellular level. It's incredibly informative and validating to those of us with behavioral issues due to our experiences. We think differently because we ARE different. Scientific evidence that trauma and abuse are not something we can just "get over"
I have a book suggestion that I didn't see on the list. Intimate Connections by David Burns, M.D. The title is a bit misleading. It's really all about overcoming our internal voices/assumptions.
It was life changing for me and my older brother. We call it "The Book" lol.
I cannot express enough how important it is to actually DO the exercises. That's the part that will give you the tools to make better choices and decisions.
A lot of self-help books are like the saying "give a man a fish". You feel good while reading it and get lots of needed validation but afterwards you're hungry again and left with nothing to move yourself forward. Intimate Connections teaches you how to fish.
It's gives us the ability to reason in a clear and practical manner and get out of our own heads and unhealthy belief systems.
Another great book is The Body Keeps The Score by Bessel van der Kolk, M.D. It's not so much about changing our behavior but more about the effect trauma and abuse have on us. We are affected a a cellular level. It's incredibly informative and validating to those of us with behavioral issues due to our experiences. We think differently because we ARE different. Scientific evidence that trauma and abuse are not something we can just "get over"
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I'm glad you came back 16.
No, its not. 
You might have to go through a few drs to find a good one - but it is pretty much a necessity to get one who understands you, especially if depression is an issue.
you're worth the effort - do the leg work, man
I would have posted this link yesterday but I didn't want you to think I was pushing you off the forum.
I'm told this is a good forum for cutting and self injury.
bus - Index page
And this one for depression
https://www.depressionforums.org/
I've not used either but I hope they might be of help.
D
D
I'd change doctors but it's hopeless.
You might have to go through a few drs to find a good one - but it is pretty much a necessity to get one who understands you, especially if depression is an issue.
you're worth the effort - do the leg work, man
I would have posted this link yesterday but I didn't want you to think I was pushing you off the forum.
I'm told this is a good forum for cutting and self injury.
bus - Index page
And this one for depression
https://www.depressionforums.org/
I've not used either but I hope they might be of help.
D
D
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 379
Originally Posted by Dee74
I'm glad you came back 16.
No, its not.
You might have to go through a few drs to find a good one - but it is pretty much a necessity to get one who understands you, especially if depression is an issue.
you're worth the effort - do the leg work, man
I would have posted this link yesterday but I didn't want you to think I was pushing you off the forum.
I'm told this is a good forum for cutting and self injury.
bus - Index page
And this one for depression
https://www.depressionforums.org/
I've not used either but I hope they might be of help.
D
D
No, its not.
You might have to go through a few drs to find a good one - but it is pretty much a necessity to get one who understands you, especially if depression is an issue.
you're worth the effort - do the leg work, man
I would have posted this link yesterday but I didn't want you to think I was pushing you off the forum.
I'm told this is a good forum for cutting and self injury.
bus - Index page
And this one for depression
https://www.depressionforums.org/
I've not used either but I hope they might be of help.
D
D
Thanks for the links, I could really do with some support on the cutting so I shall definitely check those links out.
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Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: North of the UK (one of the cold bits)
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Nice to see you back 16yrs. x
I think that each of us are so different that it's initially hard to find an outlet for our pain. I personally wore out 4 counsellors, CBT and many friends on the way. Then I discovered Hatha yoga. It doesn't work for everyone and it certainly had it's work cut out with a rage filled specimen like myself but it delivered. In spades. It took a few months for me to stop beating myself up and start really feeling the benefits but if it's a calm interior you're after it then it might just be the ticket.
However, like Sober says, CBT may be the one for you or as Bimi says - it may be rediscovering your spirituality in books. The main thing really is to find something wholesome that brings you peace as alcohol sure as hell won't.
Anyhoo - congratulations on starting on the right path Thinking of you and looking forward to hearing about your new life, whichever method you choose. Yix x
I think that each of us are so different that it's initially hard to find an outlet for our pain. I personally wore out 4 counsellors, CBT and many friends on the way. Then I discovered Hatha yoga. It doesn't work for everyone and it certainly had it's work cut out with a rage filled specimen like myself but it delivered. In spades. It took a few months for me to stop beating myself up and start really feeling the benefits but if it's a calm interior you're after it then it might just be the ticket.
However, like Sober says, CBT may be the one for you or as Bimi says - it may be rediscovering your spirituality in books. The main thing really is to find something wholesome that brings you peace as alcohol sure as hell won't.
Anyhoo - congratulations on starting on the right path
Thinking of you and looking forward to hearing about your new life, whichever method you choose. Yix x
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Location: North of the UK (one of the cold bits)
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Hi 16yrs - it took me about 3 months. I now go to a class too, but the beauty of it is you're a shy or private person all you need is a mat and a space that makes you feel safe in. I also recommend the book by Kirk, Boon and DiTuro, (ISBN 978-0-7630-6203-9). If money is tight your library may be able to order it for you? I find that along with the exercises combining the breathing really helps me to zone out and find some peace and quiet within myself. (People are noticing now that I'm far more chilled out then I've ever been).
As I say - it may not be for you but if other folks had suggested it to me a year back I would have laughed at them. Now, I can't imagine not doing it. x
As I say - it may not be for you but if other folks had suggested it to me a year back I would have laughed at them. Now, I can't imagine not doing it. x
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Location: Florida., USA
Posts: 3,252
Hi 16 years. Glad you're back. You did an outstanding job not drinking through that horrible episode. Huge congrats on that! I think you slayed a dragon. You admit to anger issues, so I think a counselor will be a help. I hope you find the right one. I'm rooting for you. Hope you feel better and better with each day. 
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Still not drinking
The arguments at home have increased. The relationship is over. I spoke to my mother last night about what is going on at home. I realised I am not being respected by her. And due to her lifestyle choices I now find it hard to respect her.
Me and my partner argued because she has dogs, and she doesn't clean their poop from the garden. She will leave it to pile up for weeks. Neighbours have complained. My stepson seen a rat. I asked my partner to clean the dog mess and to keep ontop of it and she wasn't taking it seriously. We've already been warned about eviction once.
This morning she told me "All you do is push buttons on a computer your life is easy. Go and do a real mans job". She keeps repeating this to me. I work from home. I freelance, keep a blog, and do YouTube videos on programming topics. It's hard work, but I make around £4000 a month. I put myself through University with no education and I came out on top. I spent my life studying, researching, and contributing to the open source community. I have worked damn hard for my career to have this lay about tell me I'm lazy.
Yet she doesn't work. I buy her half ounce of weed every week. I buy her PS4's, spend hundreds on baking stuff for her so she can pursue her baking passion, phones, I buy her sons christmas and birthday presents. I buy everyones clothes. Anything she needs.
Yet she will continue to insult me and call me lazy. She told me her mother thinks I am a lazy d**k h**d. Her mother doesn't know the amount of money I earn or that I pay for the upkeep of her daughter. Her mother loaned £5,000 from me years ago and didn't pay it back so I refuse to discuss anything with her.
Yet my partner uses her mothers opinion as confirmation that I am lazy. Right. The logic of her argument is pathetic. Sounds like apple didn't fall far from the tree with this one. Took me 8 years to realise it.
The arguments at home have increased. The relationship is over. I spoke to my mother last night about what is going on at home. I realised I am not being respected by her. And due to her lifestyle choices I now find it hard to respect her.
Me and my partner argued because she has dogs, and she doesn't clean their poop from the garden. She will leave it to pile up for weeks. Neighbours have complained. My stepson seen a rat. I asked my partner to clean the dog mess and to keep ontop of it and she wasn't taking it seriously. We've already been warned about eviction once.
This morning she told me "All you do is push buttons on a computer your life is easy. Go and do a real mans job". She keeps repeating this to me. I work from home. I freelance, keep a blog, and do YouTube videos on programming topics. It's hard work, but I make around £4000 a month. I put myself through University with no education and I came out on top. I spent my life studying, researching, and contributing to the open source community. I have worked damn hard for my career to have this lay about tell me I'm lazy.
Yet she doesn't work. I buy her half ounce of weed every week. I buy her PS4's, spend hundreds on baking stuff for her so she can pursue her baking passion, phones, I buy her sons christmas and birthday presents. I buy everyones clothes. Anything she needs.
Yet she will continue to insult me and call me lazy. She told me her mother thinks I am a lazy d**k h**d. Her mother doesn't know the amount of money I earn or that I pay for the upkeep of her daughter. Her mother loaned £5,000 from me years ago and didn't pay it back so I refuse to discuss anything with her.
Yet my partner uses her mothers opinion as confirmation that I am lazy. Right. The logic of her argument is pathetic. Sounds like apple didn't fall far from the tree with this one. Took me 8 years to realise it.
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sorry for your domestic problems 16.
I usually advise caution in early recovery, at least until you know who sober you is- but if you're adamant the relationship is over, whats the next step?
D
I usually advise caution in early recovery, at least until you know who sober you is- but if you're adamant the relationship is over, whats the next step?
D
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Join Date: Feb 2018
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Originally Posted by Dee74
sorry for your domestic problems 16.
I usually advise caution in early recovery, at least until you know who sober you is- but if you're adamant the relationship is over, whats the next step?
D
I usually advise caution in early recovery, at least until you know who sober you is- but if you're adamant the relationship is over, whats the next step?
D
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Join Date: Feb 2018
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I mean before making a final decision on the relationship. I don't deny the alcohol is having some effect on how I deal with situations. I also need to use this time to learn what I'm doing wrong.
But today marks day 7. Non shall pass thy lips. I've already conquered some monumental **** ups without alcohol this week so which has boosted my confidence that I've actually got a handle on this right now.
Although others might say the emotional issues going on at the moment is problematic. I hope it dies down. I recall being in this situation last time ... I looked through my post history.
It appears a lot of this argumentative crap could also be my fault.
But today marks day 7. Non shall pass thy lips. I've already conquered some monumental **** ups without alcohol this week so which has boosted my confidence that I've actually got a handle on this right now.
Although others might say the emotional issues going on at the moment is problematic. I hope it dies down. I recall being in this situation last time ... I looked through my post history.
It appears a lot of this argumentative crap could also be my fault.
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