Back on the porch. :)
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
I'm sorry to read this Rar.
I recently had a health scare too.
I was scared, angry and I felt those whats the point urges.
But..I got proactive, I took all the tests.
I resolved to deal with the problem rather than running away from it.
If I'd drunk on it I'd still be scared angry and thinking what is the point...and drunk and feeling hopeless with it.
You let the AV in but that doesn't mean you can't kick it out again on it's butt.
That I don't care nonsense is your addiction.
Maybe goign back and reading some of your old threads might help - you'll see how hard you've struggled and how much you obviously really do care.
You'll also see that sobriety was definitely agreeing with you
The sooner you quit drinking the easier it will be on you.
D
I recently had a health scare too.
I was scared, angry and I felt those whats the point urges.
But..I got proactive, I took all the tests.
I resolved to deal with the problem rather than running away from it.
If I'd drunk on it I'd still be scared angry and thinking what is the point...and drunk and feeling hopeless with it.
You let the AV in but that doesn't mean you can't kick it out again on it's butt.
That I don't care nonsense is your addiction.
Maybe goign back and reading some of your old threads might help - you'll see how hard you've struggled and how much you obviously really do care.
You'll also see that sobriety was definitely agreeing with you
The sooner you quit drinking the easier it will be on you.
D
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 782
Btw, rar, aortic valve problems are very, very treatable. Worst case scenario, you get a mechanical valve. I had a client who got one. There is next to no chance it will fail. Don’t stress my man. Medicine is amazing these days!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 701
Originally Posted by Horn95 
Btw, rar, aortic valve problems are very, very treatable. Worst case scenario, you get a mechanical valve. I had a client who got one. There is next to no chance it will fail. Don’t stress my man. Medicine is amazing these days!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 674
Pour it out. Get out of your head. Start dealing with the problem, step by step.
Get a journal, write down the 2-3 things you have to do each day and do them. Let everything else other than the must do's wait. Do that for a week and you'll have 14 - 21 things accomplished. Do it for 5 days and rest 2 and you'll have 10 -15 steps accomplished. It will help you get out of your head and into your life. You only feel overwhelmed because when we are in our heads it makes us feel like we have to fix it all at once. We don't.
You have to do it rar. You aren't alone. You can rant, vent, spit, bark at the moon here - but you have to do it. If/ when your husband spews some toxic belittling crap tell him - politely at first - to bugger off you have crap to do.
You have work to do. Go do it.
B
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 675
Rar, you have what it takes to beat this.
There will always be problems. I drank mostly beer by the end of it and would sit on the couch or sometimes the porch and just set the empty bottles on the ground around me.. telling myself I was "escaping" from my troubles when really I was building a wall/fortress between myself and the solutions and barricading myself in. I don't want to diminish what you're going through but I also know you are strong enough to face it head on.
There will always be problems. I drank mostly beer by the end of it and would sit on the couch or sometimes the porch and just set the empty bottles on the ground around me.. telling myself I was "escaping" from my troubles when really I was building a wall/fortress between myself and the solutions and barricading myself in. I don't want to diminish what you're going through but I also know you are strong enough to face it head on.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Florida., USA
Posts: 3,252
I'm not sure how to post this. I was doing good today, hoping to post my first complete day. Anyway, regarding our new place, the sellers refused to correct the deficiencies our inspection revealed. We still offered full price. Husband said, "we'll see what the walk through reveals". I asked Husband at what point will we negotiate? He said, "depends". I then asked, "at what point will you consult with me on what's important to me?" He clammed up and said, :depends. Then I asked, "so, it's what's important to you?" After that comment of mine, he responded, "Have another beer." SARCASTIC - He thought I was drunk. NOT.
That's when I came UNGLUED! I only had one beer. I ranted. I told him how afraid I was with the nodule stuff, how I would have liked a hug, etc. How hurt I was that he never even commented. I would have been satisfied with a 'poor wifey", NOTHING! I let him have it! So, he's not talking to me.
So that's my update today. I had good intentions. Though I had only one drink, Hubby saId, "have another drink". Have to think about that.
Last night Husband said he didn't think I should quit drinking until afet the closing and my surgery. He said, "just have a couple." I told him, " I am an alcoholic and I can't stop!." He didn't say anything, but today I got the nasty comment.
This is my update. I have my foot surgery in 6 days. I can't cope. Thank you all for support.
That's when I came UNGLUED! I only had one beer. I ranted. I told him how afraid I was with the nodule stuff, how I would have liked a hug, etc. How hurt I was that he never even commented. I would have been satisfied with a 'poor wifey", NOTHING! I let him have it! So, he's not talking to me.
So that's my update today. I had good intentions. Though I had only one drink, Hubby saId, "have another drink". Have to think about that.
Last night Husband said he didn't think I should quit drinking until afet the closing and my surgery. He said, "just have a couple." I told him, " I am an alcoholic and I can't stop!." He didn't say anything, but today I got the nasty comment.
This is my update. I have my foot surgery in 6 days. I can't cope. Thank you all for support.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
Hi Rar,
You sent some kind words to me on one of my first posts. Thank you.
I really hope you are okay. There are people here who are concerned for you, me included. Please come back. Your sobriety is worth fighting for. YOU are worth fighting for. Drinking will not make one damn thing better, only 100 times worse.
Hugs to you. X X
You sent some kind words to me on one of my first posts. Thank you.
I really hope you are okay. There are people here who are concerned for you, me included. Please come back. Your sobriety is worth fighting for. YOU are worth fighting for. Drinking will not make one damn thing better, only 100 times worse.
Hugs to you. X X
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Big City
Posts: 3,895
I'm not sure how to post this. I was doing good today, hoping to post my first complete day. Anyway, regarding our new place, the sellers refused to correct the deficiencies our inspection revealed. We still offered full price. Husband said, "we'll see what the walk through reveals". I asked Husband at what point will we negotiate? He said, "depends". I then asked, "at what point will you consult with me on what's important to me?" He clammed up and said, :depends. Then I asked, "so, it's what's important to you?" After that comment of mine, he responded, "Have another beer." SARCASTIC - He thought I was drunk. NOT.
That's when I came UNGLUED! I only had one beer. I ranted. I told him how afraid I was with the nodule stuff, how I would have liked a hug, etc. How hurt I was that he never even commented. I would have been satisfied with a 'poor wifey", NOTHING! I let him have it! So, he's not talking to me.
So that's my update today. I had good intentions. Though I had only one drink, Hubby saId, "have another drink". Have to think about that.
Last night Husband said he didn't think I should quit drinking until afet the closing and my surgery. He said, "just have a couple." I told him, " I am an alcoholic and I can't stop!." He didn't say anything, but today I got the nasty comment.
This is my update. I have my foot surgery in 6 days. I can't cope. Thank you all for support.
Lots of excuses Rar. Lots of anything other than you not drinking.
That's when I came UNGLUED! I only had one beer. I ranted. I told him how afraid I was with the nodule stuff, how I would have liked a hug, etc. How hurt I was that he never even commented. I would have been satisfied with a 'poor wifey", NOTHING! I let him have it! So, he's not talking to me.
So that's my update today. I had good intentions. Though I had only one drink, Hubby saId, "have another drink". Have to think about that.
Last night Husband said he didn't think I should quit drinking until afet the closing and my surgery. He said, "just have a couple." I told him, " I am an alcoholic and I can't stop!." He didn't say anything, but today I got the nasty comment.
This is my update. I have my foot surgery in 6 days. I can't cope. Thank you all for support.
Lots of excuses Rar. Lots of anything other than you not drinking.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
Originally Posted by tomsteve
sooo, no crap- there i was going through a clinical trial that was lookin at a new treatment for stage 3( and beyond) melanoma. had to be at the u of m cancer center 5 days/wk for 4 weeks for high dose infusions.
i wasnt that far in and was pretty sick. decided i was gonna tell my oncologist i was quitting the clinical trial. big huge honkin pity party.
sooo, no crap,there i was sittin in the waiting room of the infusion center waiting for my name to be called to go back. ready to tell my oncologist im DONE.
and out walks a woman with her son in her arms from the pediatric infusion unit. id say he was about 10 ish. walked right by me. the poor little gut was in rough shape.
seeing him and the look on his mothers face, i suddenly felt like the biggest pile of dog ****.
what i was facing was NOTHING and found the courage and strength to continue.
i wasnt that far in and was pretty sick. decided i was gonna tell my oncologist i was quitting the clinical trial. big huge honkin pity party.
sooo, no crap,there i was sittin in the waiting room of the infusion center waiting for my name to be called to go back. ready to tell my oncologist im DONE.
and out walks a woman with her son in her arms from the pediatric infusion unit. id say he was about 10 ish. walked right by me. the poor little gut was in rough shape.
seeing him and the look on his mothers face, i suddenly felt like the biggest pile of dog ****.
what i was facing was NOTHING and found the courage and strength to continue.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Florida., USA
Posts: 3,252
You're right TomSteve. Lots of excuses why I am still drinking - I am going to give it my best tomorrow. You're the best. Tough love.
I am so incredibly, horribly sad - but I will try.
I am so incredibly, horribly sad - but I will try.
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