Hevyn

A great way to start my morning So glad to read of your new determination. Time to live again, Stewy. You're among friends who care.

thomas11

Great to hear Stewy, I only hope that you have mentally prepared yourself for what might be the hardest thing you've ever done. Whatever it takes man, don't drink another beer, ever.

DontRemember

Get ready for a 'ride'...it's a hard ride,but every bit worth it!

Stew1984

Thanks folks!
Been a bumpy old ride. I’ve put everyone through the mill

I know it’s the right decision

2muchpain

Well, you've talked about getting outside support in the past, then recant on that and say it wasn't for you, than back and forth and back and forth. You clearly need support but you seem to have a problem with this. Maybe cause you don't want to hear the truth. I don't know. I really hope you follow through with your plan to see a therapist cause it would help you a lot. But a good therapist would ask you to make changes in both your thinking and your lifestyle. Are you ready for that? You live a pretty comfortable life. You live at home where your mother is taking care of you. You play gigs when it works for you. You come here and talk about how miserable your life is, but it doesn't sound like your life is really that miserable. My question is; why do you want to quit drinking? It's pretty obvious your life would improve a lot is you quit drinking, eg. eating healthier, working out, better relationship with your daughter, etc. but is that enough for you to quit drinking? If not, some day you will regret not doing something about your drinking. You are losing time that you can't get back. Some day you will be an old man and wish you did things differently. John

Delizadee

Stewy I am really glad to hear this

I am a great flaker when it comes to making plans when I've been drinking
Know what I did last night?
I've texted one of my counselors to come pick me up tonight and take me to a meeting. No getting out of it now!

Trust me as soon as I did it I regretted it. lol

Is there something like that you could do that would make you unable to back out of commitments until you can actually commit?

2muchpain

BTW, I don't think your serious about not drinking. If you were, you would of done a lot more now to quit. Coming here on SR and posting how miserable you are is just a way to get attention. I have been there so I know how that is. The only thing you are concerned about is you and your needs. Some day, you will see what you lost with that kind of thinking. John

SoberLeigh

Now!!!!

Fantastic, Stewy.

Welcome to Day 1.

Stew1984

I want to quit drinking because I need to be present in my life with my family and daughter. Because I want to get over my old relationship. I want to quit drinking because when I drink, it is all I think about. Everything else comes second to it and I’m either hungover or drunk. I want quit because I’m tired of being tired

Stew1984

I’ve got a full weekend lined up of stuff that just won’t be completed if I drink. Drink- one is too many, 1000 not enough (think that’s it)

Stew1984

Thank you

FreeOwl

These are great reasons for quitting drinking.

They're even better reasons for LIVING SOBER!!

I know that may seem like a pretty simple / subtle / obvious statement but for ME, the difference between telling myself "I WANT TO QUIT BECAUSE"....

And telling myself

"I WANT TO LIVE SOBER BECAUSE..."

Was a HUGE difference that made all the difference. Just the word "quit" seemed like a big barrier to me. The word LIVE was a positive word. A hopeful word. A beautiful word.

I could start to fill in all sorts of ways to LIVE in sobriety. I could find examples of friends, mentors, role models, musicians, leaders, sports figures who lived in sobriety. I could make endless lists of the ways in which it was COOL to be sober.....

Whenever I used the word QUIT - then I could never quite get over a big, heavy, quiet feeling of loss.... of missing out.... of being not as good as others who didn't HAVE TO QUIT..... it kept me tied and held back to the falsehood of being broken and not as fun, cool or as good as everyone else.

Your reasons are great reasons.... being present with my daughters was a HUGE piece of why I've been able to live in sobriety with joy and abundance and ever-improving circumstances for over four years..... but it never seemed that was enough of a motivation when I was telling myself the story of wanting to QUIT.

Flipping the storyline to focus on the positive, the thing I want, the way I wanted life to look, feel, be.... not focusing at all on the things I needed to NOT do - was for me the critical turning point.

Stew1984

John this passage reminds me of what I read earlier on a website. This is the AV - the beast talking

The AV wants me to go and get the alcohol and then post AFTER I’ve drunk it to such an extent that i feel worthless.

So I’m calling that AV out tonight and I’m managing the craving and being mindful of how I talk to myself

Stew1984

Thank you so much for this post

NerfThis

What things are you doing this week that are different from your previous multiple attempts to avoid drinking without outside help?

You mentioned you have a week of important events as one reason you absolutely cannot drink. How will you tackle the following weeks? Weeks where things are calm and you have no strong reason to be sober (you have stated reasons to be sober in the past such as children etc, but these don't seem to have been strong enough for you to actively seek help in quitting, other than to post in the forum saying 'The time is NOW to stop.' etc. Is your counselling meeting absolutely definite and are you going to attend AA?

As a frequent lurker here I have read dozens of your posts that go back and forth as you cycle past day one over and over with the same (absolutely fantastic) advice from members over and over.

I think it's wonderful that you state you want to not drink, but have you taken the strong advice on this forum in regards to actively seeking help?

Verdantia

Hey, Stewy. I predict sober life for you will be brilliant! I'm very glad to read of your positivity today and I am praying for you to succeed.

Stew1984

I am going to be reading back at it all and taking it all in

CreativeThinker

Buckley3

Do this Stew. You won't regret it. Empower yourself.

We don't have to be victims unless we want to.

B

newlyaddicted

Hey. I'm new here and don't know much about this stuff, but figured I'd contribute my two cents.
You mentioned earlier you want to get to 7 months sober by November.
I've also seen in your last posts you seem to fall over a bit in the first 10 days or so.
So just had a suggestion, rather than just counting sobriety by days, how about you also count it by weeks and months as well?

So say you have 3 goals-

1. Counting days.
2. Counting weeks
3. Counting months

Would this help keep moving you forward maybe and give you extra encouragement in your goal?

Also, have you thought about something simple like buying yourself a journal, and putting some goals in it every day for what you could do.

Some constructive hobbies or enjoyable activities not involving alcohol. You mentioned the night time is harder for you, so maybe some stuff you could do at night like reading a book, having a movie night, going to the movies, going out to dinner with a friend, doing some practice on an instrument etc.

Writing some goals down in a journal every day might help because it makes it more tangible and keeps you on track.

Even stuff like preparing for your upcoming interview this Friday could be a night time goal this week perhaps?

Also maybe note each of your 3 goals in the journal every day? Day 7, Week 1, Month 0 or something? So you can see how far you've come.

Good luck.