1st Step
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 2
1st Step
I’m an alcoholic, I’ve hit rock bottom! I need somebody to tell me that there is life after this, I have lost everything that supposed important to me, I understand that I have a problem, I am seeking your help. Can somebody please just tell me that there is a redemption
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Welcome to Sober Recovery.
I cannot tell you what your life, post sobriety, will be like. Not with any surety. But there is a very good chance it will improve.
What I can say, with certainty, is that if you continue to drink, there is ZERO chance of redemption.
Please read around the site. There are many stories of success. Yours can be one too.
Originally Posted by Smltwngrl 
Can somebody please just tell me that there is a redemption
What I can say, with certainty, is that if you continue to drink, there is ZERO chance of redemption.
Please read around the site. There are many stories of success. Yours can be one too.
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
Welcome. If you get to some AA meetings you will see hundreds of chronic alcoholics who found a way out. Talk to them, watch them, you will soon see that many have found something really special. It was that something special that attracted me to AA long term.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
welcome,Smltwngrl. i assume thats small town girl?
i got sober in small town northern michigan. AFTER losing something very dear to me- my fiance. she booted me out the door the morning after my last blackout drunk.
thats what it took for me to get out of denial- ithat day was the 1st day i looked at my life and what a shambles i had made of it. that was the first day i admiited alcohol was the common denominator in all my problems. that was the day i was given the greatest gift i had ever been given- the gift of desperation.
that gift had me looking at my options- get help or suicide.
o chose the help, which was AA.
i started going to meetings,reading the big book, praying, repeat.i was only giving AA 90 days( and that was more than just going to meetings- i was going to do what was suggested,too) and if nothing changed, option 2.
it took some time for the fog to wear of and start undertsanding what i was reading in the big book and what i was hearing.
at 90 days,something had changed in me. i didnt know what it was, but it was different than what i was used to. i decided to keep going to meetings and working the program.
eventually i realized that that something that changed in me was the promises of the program starting to occur.
ive been given a life i could never have dreamed of. that doesnt mean everything is sunshine,unicorns, and rainbows,though; there has been life on lifes terms to contend with.
but ive been able to contend with it and the most important benefit:
i love myself today.
i got sober in small town northern michigan. AFTER losing something very dear to me- my fiance. she booted me out the door the morning after my last blackout drunk.
thats what it took for me to get out of denial- ithat day was the 1st day i looked at my life and what a shambles i had made of it. that was the first day i admiited alcohol was the common denominator in all my problems. that was the day i was given the greatest gift i had ever been given- the gift of desperation.
that gift had me looking at my options- get help or suicide.
o chose the help, which was AA.
i started going to meetings,reading the big book, praying, repeat.i was only giving AA 90 days( and that was more than just going to meetings- i was going to do what was suggested,too) and if nothing changed, option 2.
it took some time for the fog to wear of and start undertsanding what i was reading in the big book and what i was hearing.
at 90 days,something had changed in me. i didnt know what it was, but it was different than what i was used to. i decided to keep going to meetings and working the program.
eventually i realized that that something that changed in me was the promises of the program starting to occur.
ive been given a life i could never have dreamed of. that doesnt mean everything is sunshine,unicorns, and rainbows,though; there has been life on lifes terms to contend with.
but ive been able to contend with it and the most important benefit:
i love myself today.
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
I can tell you that if you're serious there is hard work ahead.
I can tell you there will be discomfort.
I can tell you if you're willing to work hard and endure some discomfort you'll come off that rock bottom and your life will get better.
Does that equal redemption?
I don't know.
Best of Luck on Your Journey.
I can tell you there will be discomfort.
I can tell you if you're willing to work hard and endure some discomfort you'll come off that rock bottom and your life will get better.
Does that equal redemption?
I don't know.
Best of Luck on Your Journey.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 2
Thank you! Yep 2nd time black out drunk. Woke up and realized I didn’t even know i had a problem until my husband gave me the boot. 18 years of marriage. I don’t drink everyday, hardly at all. Apparently when I do, it’s a drunken nightmare. I want to change and be better ..... I want my family. I truly need hope. Maybe I don’t love myself. I’m looking for a meeting near me, this post was my 1st step. I realize now I have a problem. I’m just so confused how it got so bad so fast ...... and I wonder if he would ever take me back.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Welcome!
For me, everything in life is better sober. And, by that I mean that I am incredibly fortunate to have the pretty darn amazing life i have now- AND that a gift of sobriety is the CLARITY to deal with reality. And sometimes reality is crummy, to say the least. But without alcohol, i can handle whatever comes my way much (MUCH) better.
I had a lot of questions at first- all I knew for sure was that I had to quit drinking or I'd die (literally). And I had to learn to be patient that things and the promises (outcomes, say, if you are not an AA person) would indeed unfold as they were (are) meant to...you can find a better life simply by getting sober, and I'd venture to say, a truly good life by living in recovery.
Best to you.
For me, everything in life is better sober. And, by that I mean that I am incredibly fortunate to have the pretty darn amazing life i have now- AND that a gift of sobriety is the CLARITY to deal with reality. And sometimes reality is crummy, to say the least. But without alcohol, i can handle whatever comes my way much (MUCH) better.
I had a lot of questions at first- all I knew for sure was that I had to quit drinking or I'd die (literally). And I had to learn to be patient that things and the promises (outcomes, say, if you are not an AA person) would indeed unfold as they were (are) meant to...you can find a better life simply by getting sober, and I'd venture to say, a truly good life by living in recovery.
Best to you.
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
Originally Posted by Smltwngrl
Thank you! Yep 2nd time black out drunk. Woke up and realized I didn’t even know i had a problem until my husband gave me the boot. 18 years of marriage. I don’t drink everyday, hardly at all. Apparently when I do, it’s a drunken nightmare. I want to change and be better ..... I want my family. I truly need hope. Maybe I don’t love myself. I’m looking for a meeting near me, this post was my 1st step. I realize now I have a problem. I’m just so confused how it got so bad so fast ...... and I wonder if he would ever take me back.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Florida., USA
Posts: 3,252
Welcome Smltwngrl. Congratulations on your first step toward sobriety. SR is a wonderful support forum. We are here for you and you don't have to be alone. Stay close to SR and read the threads and post. 
No Dogma Please
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: SoCal
Posts: 2,562
Not sure what you mean by redemption, but I can say that my life is a billion times more fulfilling and works a trillion times better after getting sober which was for me May 9, 2017. There is a reason why people call it a birthday, because for many it's when your life really starts. HOW it improves depends on the circumstances in your life (God grant me the serenity to accept the things you cannot change), and YOU (the courage to change the things I can), and the development of your sobriety (the wisdom to know the difference).
Admitting you have a problem and that you need to stop drinking or using an addictive substance(s) is the first step to recovery. Some say the hardest step.
I think it's relatively easy to grasp the concept, not necessarily what its complete application implies.
I'm not a big AA person, but Step 1 is on-point:
"We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable."
Powerless over alcohol. You cannot control it, and that includes binge drinking that takes on a life of its own once that first drink is taken.
Sounds like you've realized that your life has become unmanageable with your husband wanting out of the marriage...and you want to save your life.
Pretty compelling incentive.
Action item 1 is actually getting sober, stopping the use of our addictive substance(s). There are many ways to do so. Some have suggested attending an AA meeting in your area. A very good suggestion. I would suggest that before you do anything consult with your doctor, if possible, and let them know how much and how often you are/were drinking/using. Doc can evaluate if there are any medical issues you need to address, and suggest specific treatment options. If your doctor isn't trained in addiction and recovery, it's a start, but ask for a referral to someone who is, preferably a psychiatrist. Personally I found my medical team was the first step in my journey and a huge and necessary ally in continued sobriety. I highly doubt I'd have gotten and stayed sober without them.
AA is an option. Secular programs are another, and there is an entire section on this site devoted to them. The site itself and the people here are a resource beyond value.
Getting sober is more than saying "My life sucks, I'm going to stop" and then stopping. You need a plan to get and stay that way, and some sort of structured method. Doesn't matter which one, pick one. If it isn't working after a genuine effort, pick another and start working that.
Nobody can promise any specific changes in your life that result from sobriety. What anybody CAN promise is that there will be some positive changes, some expected and some a glorious surprises!
You can do this. Keep coming back and share with the group.
Admitting you have a problem and that you need to stop drinking or using an addictive substance(s) is the first step to recovery. Some say the hardest step.
I think it's relatively easy to grasp the concept, not necessarily what its complete application implies.
I'm not a big AA person, but Step 1 is on-point:
"We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable."
Powerless over alcohol. You cannot control it, and that includes binge drinking that takes on a life of its own once that first drink is taken.
Sounds like you've realized that your life has become unmanageable with your husband wanting out of the marriage...and you want to save your life.
Pretty compelling incentive.
Action item 1 is actually getting sober, stopping the use of our addictive substance(s). There are many ways to do so. Some have suggested attending an AA meeting in your area. A very good suggestion. I would suggest that before you do anything consult with your doctor, if possible, and let them know how much and how often you are/were drinking/using. Doc can evaluate if there are any medical issues you need to address, and suggest specific treatment options. If your doctor isn't trained in addiction and recovery, it's a start, but ask for a referral to someone who is, preferably a psychiatrist. Personally I found my medical team was the first step in my journey and a huge and necessary ally in continued sobriety. I highly doubt I'd have gotten and stayed sober without them.
AA is an option. Secular programs are another, and there is an entire section on this site devoted to them. The site itself and the people here are a resource beyond value.
Getting sober is more than saying "My life sucks, I'm going to stop" and then stopping. You need a plan to get and stay that way, and some sort of structured method. Doesn't matter which one, pick one. If it isn't working after a genuine effort, pick another and start working that.
Nobody can promise any specific changes in your life that result from sobriety. What anybody CAN promise is that there will be some positive changes, some expected and some a glorious surprises!
You can do this. Keep coming back and share with the group.
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