sobersolstice

I'm not sure if this is an accountability thread or not, but this is my last go at it. Not sure if this is the best way to go about it, but this is the end of the drinking road for me, and if I blow it, that's on me...

ScottFromWI

Sounds like a good idea to me. What exactly will you do differently this time to make it your last day 1?

sobersolstice

I'm fairly sure I won't make it another couple years if I keep drinking.

I've written down the number of days I've wasted hungover thinking I can moderate. I have a plan book and wellness toolbox, but ultimately, I've decided ethanol shouldn't be consumed.

I think about the way the solvent flows through my veins and weakens me in every facet; I can feel it many days, poisoning my body as it floods my body and makes my heart weak.

I'm putting together a structure plan for daily living without booze. Taking action on my plans have been meager at best; I need to work into these changes more slowly without being extreme in thinking I can flip my life around overnight.

For now, at day 2... and for as long as I'm alive, "Not for human consumption"

RUSHSIGNALS

You have the right thinking, I'm on day 47 and it was only possible by cutting back over a couple weeks until it actually tasted like poison to me. I've always feared sleeping at night without it, I'll admit that the first nights of reduction where anxiety filled but even those restless nights yielded better erergy the next day. I hardly think about it now except I'll have dreams at night of drinking. I quit 10 years of marijuana 7 months ago and 30 years of 10+ beers a night 47 days ago. Finally head is clearing out, more money and loosing weight. Although I've never had so much cravings for sugar as a do now. BTW, my 2 hrs of pot a night was 10x harder to withdrawal from than the alcohol. An audblie book by By Craig Beck has myself and friend both on the road to recovery. Get on the vitamins now

Anna

Hi Sobersolstice, It sounds like you're ready and prepared. Day 2 is great and I know you can do this.

Dee74

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html

D

sobersolstice

I think plans are different for everyone. I have revised my plans countless times, and I don't know... maybe they're too specific?

My journal is where I write how I feel day to day, and that has helped, but only if I open it. Same with my binders.

I sometimes feel like I'm overthinking all of this, and just need to stop and heal for a bit. It's almost stressing me out. Maybe I need the stress, converted to discipline to get through the beginning.

Rar

I have had to tweak my plan a few times to accommodate situations or feelings I didn't anticipate. For me, specificity was what I needed in my plan. I have relapsed 3 or 4 times over the years. I can't remember if I had a plan, but for sure if I did, it wasn't adequate or specific enough. You're doing great! Hang in there.

Dee74

there's two parts to a plan - devising it and putting it into action.
Sounds like you might be faltering with the second part?

Like I said 2 parts - thinking and doing.

if I'm honest, I don't think having no plan at all would be very healing for you.

D

tealily

SS,

I hear you on the overthinking part. It can be exhausting. As a worrier and overthinker myself, I understand.

What finally helped me with quitting drinking is this: Take it off the table as an option, I know that sounds simplistic, but it's actually freeing. This drinking thing is not working for you. It is indeed a solvent that is eating your insides out, damaging your organs, your brain, your body, your life. It is poison. Any "benefits" are an illusion.

There is no way that you can moderate; your own experience has shown you that. So... don't negotiate, argue, come up with strategies or TO DO lists, so much as DO NOT pick up, do not bring it to your lips, do not swallow. NOT drinking IS within your power. It's not superhuman. Just remove it as a possibility. Don't buy it, don't touch it, don't swallow it. Repeat.

Your body will start to heal. Your sleep will get better. You eventually won't WANT to pour poison in that healed body.

I don't know if this will help or not. But it truly is doable. YOU can do it. You deserve better.

sobersolstice

I'm pretty much past the roughest patch after a productive, tiring day 4, but feel good.

Drank a lot of water. My skin's all dry so I had to add electrolytes.

Managing morning caffeine, trying to sleep early (sorta), working slowly into exercise,.. staying busy, but trying to control the manic side with breathing.

Thanks Fam!

sobersolstice

After a productive day at work yesterday, I was able to fall asleep around midnight after landing a new work account.

Crazy that it happened I was working a gym project, and my next door neighbor (non-drinker) was working the front desk.

I am going to finish it this morning, and have a productive day.

Feeling like there is more than just me in this sobriety thing; like another positive and happy force is helping me. Little things are falling into place better. If I drop my phone, it doesn't break. When I stumble, I don't fall. If I spill a glass of water, I somehow manage to catch it. Not sure if someone upstairs is watching over me, but I'll embrace it.

The brain fog, manic and tired feelings etc. are still there, but so much better than laying in bed in agony.

DT's, cramping, and seizures are backing off. I'd never had those until recently, and absolutely can't have another. I'm a Dr. prescribed medication to curb the withdrawals and DT's.

It's just the beginning, but a grown man crying in gratitude and for the first time ever, some strange relief.

Day 5.

Ladysadie

Sounds like your alcoholism has advanced and given you a head's up that it is now a serious consideration - choices of healing or destruction. It can get a whole lot easier on yourself when, at your crossroads, you follow the path your heart engages in choosing. I think you have a keen and thoughtful mind, you know which way you want to travel. Many blessing being sent your way. Don't listen to your AV, ignore, you've got a deeper sense of what you need to do.

golfreggie

Here is the "plan" my sponsor suggested to me, perhaps it may ring a bell with you. "Ask God in the morning to keep me sober, talk to your sponsor or another alcoholic, don't drink, and thank God at night for keeping you sober". Good plan me thinks! Have done the same plan for a few years now, don't see any reason to change it. Of course that is the basic minimum. Going to meetings, and doing other so called self-improvement stuff, is good too. But without the minimum, the rest is meaningless. A practicing drunk rarely makes spiritual progress.

sobersolstice

Right now, I'm just being the boss of my brain. I'm not floating around doing whatever. I'm intentional with everything, and smiling as much as I can.

Day 6 already :-) .... It has been a long week though.