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Old 03-04-2018, 05:34 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Question about relapse


I am so ashamed. I have been horrible these past few months going on 5-7 day long benders, detoxing, getting sober again for a week and then feeling “good” and thinking I can drink again.
I just came off the back of 3 days of withdrawals. On day 4(last night) I felt great and had about 6 drinks out with friends. I woke up this morning with a headache, had a hair of the dog which I totally regret.
I do NOT plan to drink again today.
Do you think my withdrawals will return? I am so embarrassed and scared they will. I just don’t know if one day of drinking will bring them back.
Not asking for medical advice just anyone who experienced something like this! Thanks guys :hugs:
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Old 03-04-2018, 05:47 AM   #2 (permalink)
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I can't say if your withdrawals will return in this case, but google "kindling" and you see that withdrawal get worse, not better, in the cycle of relapse.
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Old 03-04-2018, 05:56 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Star,

Getting through the first clean week was physically/mentally painful.

Then, as the booze fully left my system, my brain started to feel like it was off kilter.

It was a nonstop crave.

I told myself I felt better, but denying myself booze during this...better...feeling caused me hellish anxiety.

I wasn't feeling good, I was stressing out. I was going crazy from a lack of booze.

Each relapse worsened the suffering.

Folks end up insane if they can't figure out a way to stop.

Thanks.
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When I crave I think of the next day after effects:

high blood pressure, sleep issues, strength loss, immune system compromise (sick).

BpSSS. My mantra.

Studied "alcohol kindling" and "alcohol PAWS."

Last intoxication: 8 May 15.
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Old 03-04-2018, 06:18 AM   #4 (permalink)
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I experienced a mood lift after a few days of sobriety that would make me feel great and I would drink to “celebrate” and then hate myself. The euphoric emotions were part of my up and down cycle of emotions that I had to work through my first 30 days. The cycles were around but less intense after that. Eventually my depression/euphoric cycle leveled out. But I had to learn how not to fall into the trap of giving myself permission to drink based on my emotions.
Staying busy was key for me. I posted here everyday.
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Old 03-04-2018, 06:28 AM   #5 (permalink)
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I experienced a mood lift after a few days of sobriety that would make me feel great and I would drink to “celebrate” and then hate myself. The euphoric emotions were part of my up and down cycle of emotions that I had to work through my first 30 days. The cycles were around but less intense after that. Eventually my depression/euphoric cycle leveled out. But I had to learn how not to fall into the trap of giving myself permission to drink based on my emotions.
Staying busy was key for me. I posted here everyday.
I plan to post here daily. My drinking is directly related to my emotions and depression. My doctor started me on some mood stabilizers this past week. I am hoping they help me from self medicating.
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Old 03-04-2018, 07:13 AM   #6 (permalink)
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I plan to post here daily. My drinking is directly related to my emotions and depression. My doctor started me on some mood stabilizers this past week. I am hoping they help me from self medicating.
That's great about seeing your dr. Mine are invaluable as part of my recovery life.

What is your actual plan for staying sober?
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Old 03-04-2018, 11:02 AM   #7 (permalink)
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I agree, nobody can tell if your withdrawals will come back. I can tell you what happened to me. I had the most horrible withdrawals, all the works. Then three days later I thought I was safe but 10 days later DTs kicked in with extremely vivid hallucinations and total loss of reality. I thought I was in France. And there were people stalking me. It was like a movie, very real and very scary. No spiders, real people, but it was all very dark. I was put into a mental ward. At a prison. And that was not fun! People are sympathetic at hospitals, prison guards generally are not! Don't play with it, if you start to feel really unwell go to the hospital and medically supervised detox. Luckily I didn't have a seizure but that could have happened. There are lots of threads here about withdrawals and nightmares, I would read them, but don't self medicate. Go to ER if it gets worse. They have seen it all. Generally it is believed (and you can google it) that if you have had withdrawals before it could be worse the next time. But I hope you are over it by now. Sending thoughts and prayers and good vibes your way.
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Old 03-04-2018, 06:13 PM   #8 (permalink)
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I plan to post here daily. My drinking is directly related to my emotions and depression. My doctor started me on some mood stabilizers this past week. I am hoping they help me from self medicating.
Glad to have you join us StarGazer

My drinking was related to my moods too - I couldn't stop being moody or experiences feelings I found uncomfortable , but I could stop reaching for the same old solution, and stay sober

In fact staying sober gave me the strength to deal with my feelings in a far more balanced and healthy way.

I hope you'll find the same

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