xxxNICHOLExxx

Trying to come off a 6 day binge!! Having a hard time finding day 1 the cravings get to where I can’t handle it!!! This isn’t the life I want because I have no life drinking!!! Just wanting some advice how did you start your day 1 and stick to it through the cravings struggle and rough times??? I’ve been trying since the end of November longest I got was 27 days in January.. haven’t done AA or rehab trying to keep that as a last option
Thanks y’all take care

Ghoster18

Hi

I had 30 days in November then 31 days again recently then I've crashed again.
Last Saturday I dived into the pit and got off my face again.
I'm posting here really trying.
It's like really hard to articulate into words how tough it is to regain strength and power through early days then to just throw it away.
I'm in my withdrawal yet again.
Horrible!
All I can share is
Keep believing
Get a daily action plan a simple plan!
It must be stressed during my sober days I follow a very simple plan!
Because if your anything like me you may have a complex emotional thinking mind?
Sober is Alien to me yet so familiar what a crazy statement but it's true.
Keep with determination!
Your a human being
You are worth love and protection!
Ghoster

Ghoster18

Not sure if you like pearl jam
But I'm listening to 'save you" right now it's a great song!

Anna

Hi Nichole,

I think you have to do whatever it takes to get through Day 1. Anything that will distract you for a few minutes will help. Can you get outside and do something physical?

I hope that you can get past Day 27 this time. What changes can you make in your life to support your recovery? Maybe you can change activities, people in your life, anything that helps contribute to your recovery.

xxxNICHOLExxx

I know the song I’m actually listening to staind it’s been awhile I listen to lots of music helps with my anxiety and my mood disorder

Berrybean

Well, if you have no other options it sounds like you may be at those last options.

Why not try hitting a meeting tomorrow.

BB

xxxNICHOLExxx

I’m terrified of going to a meeting!!!! I wouldn’t even know where to find one around here I live in a very small town maybe 300 people and about 100% sure there isn’t one in my town I’d probably have to travel a little

xxxNICHOLExxx

Anna people and activities is definitely a tigger but if I try to change that it probably ruin my marriage (long story)

Berrybean

Well, first things first. Why not Google AA meetings and the name of your town and see where your nearest ones are and when.

I found it helpful to make contact with AA before going to a meeting. There are phone lines that you can call and chat. I used the email address thought contacted that way.

You wouldn't have to say a single word at your first meeting if you didn't want to. You can just walk in, take a seat, and listen. You know, there isn't anyone I've met who wasn't terrified to walk into their first meeting. The people there will all remember how they felt and just want to help you feel at ease. Those AA rooms are the friendliest and mostbloving places I've ever been.

BB

Dee74

Hi Nichole

A day one happens when we make sure our home is alcohol free and we don;t buy anymore. Thats really simple, but sometimes it needs to be simple to cut through all the complexities and reasons we can't stop that we burden ourselves with.

If there's always alcohol at you home due to other people then you probably need more support than what you have.

I really believe that you can get sober and stay that way, even if the people around you and the lifestyle you lead or the medical issues you have are not helpful to recovery.

You can change your lifestyle - even as a partner in a relationship you have full choice over what you do and do not do.

You can see your doctor about any medical issues.

You can find more support.

If posting here at SR is not enough support to help you do that it might be a good thing for you to face your fears and get some kind of face to face support - doctor counsellor, AA meeting (or SMART or lifering meeting.)

There;s no problem so big you can't beat it with hard work commitment and the right support Nichole

D

xxxNICHOLExxx

Thanks you berrybean something I’ll definitely look into I do have a question about it maybe you can help isn’t AA very religious??? I have a friend back from high school that goes to one she doesn’t live around here anymore but I told her about my drinking habits and told me the reason why I drink is because the devil is in me kind of worried me if they are all that way but they are probably not all the same right???

xxxNICHOLExxx

Dee
This might sound a little silly and not wanting to go into detail but what if sometimes I don’t have full choice in what I want to do or don’t want to do??

Berrybean

Never heard anyone say that the devil is in anyone. Same as my work place, and the doctors surgery and the supermarket- some folk are religious and others aren't. I've met plenty of atheists successfully working the AA program of recovery. In AA you hear people talk about a Higher Power. For some that might be the Christian God. For others it might just be the rooms of AA, or their conscience, or Good Orderly Direction, or Great Out Doors for nature. I've heard a wide range of responses to what people's Higher Power is.

In my home group there are about 30 regulars and about 5 of them were Christians. Might depend on the area you are in I suppose.

This subforum might help.... https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/step-2/

BB

Dee74

Well, difficult to answer that without specifics, but unless someone's holding you down and forcibly pouring the drink down your throat, I still maintain you have choice in this regard Nichole.

It may not always be easy, and sometimes people may get greatly annoyed, even angry, at the change in you, but change sometimes means tough decisions?

That's another reason for more support maybe?

D

Berrybean

I think they're more likely to say you drink because you're an alcoholic who hasn't yet understood the nature of their problem, and that once you do you can stay sober one day at a time.

Don't want to dis your pal, but her opinion really isn't very AA at all.

BB

xxxNICHOLExxx

Dee understand the drinking thing I’m the one who puts it in my hand and down my throat but I was talking more of lifestyle like let’s say I have to ask my husband if I can go to AA or have to get permission to do things..... like one tigger is I have to get my husband a beer out of the fridge when he ask for it I know sounds probably why worse in writing then what it is

Dee74

Don't be offended but I'm assuming your husband is a normal guy, not violent.

I think with more support you might find the strength and the courage to tell your husband to get up and get his own beer

Would he really stop you from going to AA? have you asked?

D

xxxNICHOLExxx

Dee
I’ll just say this he thinks a woman is posed to do as they are told to do!!! A woman’s job is to cook clean laundry dishes and take care of the kids and to take care of him clean up after him do things for him like get a beer pack his lunch etc... I think he lives in the “1950s” still he believes women are below men and if I said something about AA he probably tell me good luck finding someone to watch the kids and he probably make things very hard for me .... I know it’s a messed up situation I put myself in but I’ve learnt how to live that way

Dee74

I'm sorry you're in that situation. Other women here may have better suggestions for you on what to do than me.

There's a couple of things I can suggest - I believe some AA meetings have child minding, although obviously leaving them for an hour with a relative or friend might be more comfortable for them.

There are also online AA meetings too.

But I understand if you really feel its not for you.

The bottom line really is - AA or no AA, no one can make you drink if you don't want.

You could live in a brewery and not drink if you really wanted.

If you're drinking as result of your relationship, even partially, I think there are more effective ways to cope.

If SR is realistically your only real support then you need to step up to the plate Nichole.

If you were to write down all the reasons you've given for your drinking over your time here at SR I think you'd see that everyone of them boils down to you making the choice to drink.

Maybe its time to work on some other ideas on how you might cope with life?

The more healthy alternatives you have means less chance of you choosing the drinking option?

D

xxxNICHOLExxx

Dee
Agree and thank you