I feel like I'm getting close to the end
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 1
I feel like I'm getting close to the end
I'm a 28 year old guy with a love for alcohol and cocaine. I've struggled with both substances for the past 12 or so years and I feel like I've really overdone it at this point.
I should mention that my partying usually continues for anywhere from 1-3 days. It's not usually just a night out on the town. I've seriously gone too far and I feel as though I'm really losing it at this point as for what feels like the 100th time, I've screwed up yet another job and become penniless due to my partying ways. Every time I get a few hundred dollars in my pocket, it seems that I become magnetized to the local bar.
It's getting ridiculous. I don't know what to do and I have very few people in my life that could care less about my self destructive ways. I should mention that I also have a child I take care of a few days a week so I'm unsure if rehab is even a possibility as his mother probably wouldn't be too happy. I just don't know what to do.
I should mention that my partying usually continues for anywhere from 1-3 days. It's not usually just a night out on the town. I've seriously gone too far and I feel as though I'm really losing it at this point as for what feels like the 100th time, I've screwed up yet another job and become penniless due to my partying ways. Every time I get a few hundred dollars in my pocket, it seems that I become magnetized to the local bar.
It's getting ridiculous. I don't know what to do and I have very few people in my life that could care less about my self destructive ways. I should mention that I also have a child I take care of a few days a week so I'm unsure if rehab is even a possibility as his mother probably wouldn't be too happy. I just don't know what to do.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,877
Welcome to SR, Michael.
We do care about you and your sobriety - very much so.
Many of us have been where you now find yourself and have turned ourselves and our lives around.
You can absolutely do it, too - there is no doubt.
I hope that you take the time to look around this site, giving special,attention to,the Stickies at the top of each forum. There,is a wealth of experience and knowledge on them.
I will post links to a few ''not to miss" threads on a minute.
We do care about you and your sobriety - very much so.
Many of us have been where you now find yourself and have turned ourselves and our lives around.
You can absolutely do it, too - there is no doubt.
I hope that you take the time to look around this site, giving special,attention to,the Stickies at the top of each forum. There,is a wealth of experience and knowledge on them.
I will post links to a few ''not to miss" threads on a minute.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,877
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,877
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Welcome Michael - you'll find a lot of support and understanding here. The link above that SoberLeigh provided is a great one to find out some resources on different ways/plans to get sober. Rehab is not always necessary, but don't rule it out. There are outpatient programs too, check your local drug/alcohol rehab resource.
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
Originally Posted by michael19891 
I just don't know what to do.
That's pretty common. You said you didn't think you could go away for rehab. What CAN you do?
Best of Luck on Your Journey.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
We do care. And many of us (me included) have been there.
First things first - you have to make the choice, fully and completely, to embrace life clean and sober. Then immediately follow that choIce with action.
AA, NA are good places to act. Get some recovery literature. Get information on rehabs your may qualify for. Get on it.
Your life can be a thousand times better.
First things first - you have to make the choice, fully and completely, to embrace life clean and sober. Then immediately follow that choIce with action.
AA, NA are good places to act. Get some recovery literature. Get information on rehabs your may qualify for. Get on it.
Your life can be a thousand times better.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,432
Glad you are here
There is hope, and you can recover.
Are you ready to quit? That's the first and most necessary thing.
You have to want it--to do it for you, and to save your life and dreams.
Being all in means everything.
There is hope, and you can recover.
Are you ready to quit? That's the first and most necessary thing.
You have to want it--to do it for you, and to save your life and dreams.
Being all in means everything.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Hi and welcome Michael 
Sounds like things are pretty dire.
Read around and post as much as you like - I hope you'll find some ideas on what you can do.
You deserve better and so does the child in your care, however many days a week, yeah?
D
D
Sounds like things are pretty dire.
Read around and post as much as you like - I hope you'll find some ideas on what you can do.
You deserve better and so does the child in your care, however many days a week, yeah?
D
D
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Australia
Posts: 11,351
Michael, hi 
You sound like you are sick and tired of being sick and tired.
All of us here have been where you are at some point, when enough is enough.
You are only 28 and have your whole life ahead of you. You really can do this you know. Imagine going through another 10 years of this shittt! Your body can only take the abuse for so long right !
Til it starts disintegrating around you.
You know you are at that point as you are reaching out for help.
I'm so proud of you for doing so. You sound like a really nice guy.
What we need to do here is fix you so you can be right for your child.
As a mother , let me be very clear. Your child's mother is NOT going to get angry if you go to rehab. I promise you that much.
You need this. You want to be around to watch your child grow up, don't you.
Do this for you , do this for the beautiful child who calls you Daddy.
I'm so, so proud of you for reaching out. Please stay close and keep posting, you are not alone here and will get so much good advice here from people who have been where you are and truly do care what happens to you.
Much love and you've got this xoxo
You sound like you are sick and tired of being sick and tired.
All of us here have been where you are at some point, when enough is enough.
You are only 28 and have your whole life ahead of you. You really can do this you know. Imagine going through another 10 years of this shittt! Your body can only take the abuse for so long right !
Til it starts disintegrating around you.
You know you are at that point as you are reaching out for help.
I'm so proud of you for doing so. You sound like a really nice guy.
What we need to do here is fix you so you can be right for your child.
As a mother , let me be very clear. Your child's mother is NOT going to get angry if you go to rehab. I promise you that much.
You need this. You want to be around to watch your child grow up, don't you.
Do this for you , do this for the beautiful child who calls you Daddy.
I'm so, so proud of you for reaching out. Please stay close and keep posting, you are not alone here and will get so much good advice here from people who have been where you are and truly do care what happens to you.
Much love and you've got this xoxo
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
Hi Michael. I had the privilage of sponsoring a man exactly like you, partial care of two sons, exactly the same DONCs, even the same name would you believe.
Because he worked full time and had the childcare commitments he was only able to attend two meetings a week. I thought that was a bit light based on popular AA lore, but we worked the steps over the course of a few weeks and he made an amazing recovery.
One highlight for me was when we had a party in the street for the kids. By that time Michael had a flat in the same street. To watch, from a distance, how he and his sons had become much loved members of the community was absolutely fantastic. He has been sober quite a few years now, is in a wonderful relatioship, and is as nicer man as you could ever hope to meet.
There is hope for you too, if you are willing to do what it takes.
Because he worked full time and had the childcare commitments he was only able to attend two meetings a week. I thought that was a bit light based on popular AA lore, but we worked the steps over the course of a few weeks and he made an amazing recovery.
One highlight for me was when we had a party in the street for the kids. By that time Michael had a flat in the same street. To watch, from a distance, how he and his sons had become much loved members of the community was absolutely fantastic. He has been sober quite a few years now, is in a wonderful relatioship, and is as nicer man as you could ever hope to meet.
There is hope for you too, if you are willing to do what it takes.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 192
Michael,
I named my son Michael after Saint Michael (not really, it was Michael Corleone from the Godfather)...I got a lot of inspiration from listening to Aerosmith's song "Amazing" and reading the lyrics. You remember Aerosmith? Try it on Youtube. And of course stay with us. Besides my not so serious reply this time. I just want you to be inspired. You know?
I named my son Michael after Saint Michael (not really, it was Michael Corleone from the Godfather)...I got a lot of inspiration from listening to Aerosmith's song "Amazing" and reading the lyrics. You remember Aerosmith? Try it on Youtube. And of course stay with us. Besides my not so serious reply this time. I just want you to be inspired. You know?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 50
Don't have much to add, other than my support. I am 26, about to be 27 and alcohol has done me a lot of damage as well. Now being 40 something days sober, it is not 100% yet, but it is a million times better then my boozing cycles. You know what to do, and you can get sober my friend.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,550
Michael: The most welcome words I heard in rehab nearly 30 years ago was "Let's do it together". Climbing the mountain of recovery with comrades is a lot easier and less risky than trying to do it alone. By posting here you already have comrades on your rope. They will catch you if you stumble and fall. Save your life. But always do it for yourself. If you do that you will be able to be there for your kids. It's tough at first but the climb gets easier as it goes. I went to rehab in 1988 and have been sober for nearly 30 years. It changed my life, brought back my very soul. Never give up! Never! Good luck!
Bill
Bill
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