Silver11

Hi friends.
Day 2 of my journey. I need to get better at recognising the different forms cravings can take. I always assumed I made the decision to quit in a Monday but that my own mind changes on Friday. I don't think that's accurate.

I really never want another sip again. My own personal AV is a clever one. I've noticed frequently on Wednesday or Thursday that I imagine scenarios/ remember times from the past when I've fought with my wife or parents. I start thinking about how life's been unfair. Why do these thoughts suddenly occur on a Thursday?

I'm giving myself reasons to drink. I can't fall for that bs again.

I'm going to post everyday and just share my thoughts here. Going to another meeting tomorrow.

Slow and steady.

Thanks

Anna

Ah yes, alcoholism has a very sneaky and dangerous way of messing with our minds. It really helped me to know that those thoughts had no control over me and that I could could just let them go. Good for you for recognizing the tricky AV so early on!

D122y

Clark,

Totally relate. I drank to...get even with all the people at work I hated. I was having a party, they weren't. It was crazy.

I still obsess about the past and worry about the future. But, now I take responsibility for all the trouble I have had. I blame nobody but myself.

That puts the power to fix the problem squarely under my control.

As soon as I blame someone else, the problem is drawn out.

I know that I need to live in the now.

I was under hellish physical and mental duress for many months. I am blessedthat I didn't lose my wife or my easy cool job. My boss is distant and that was a good thing for getting cleaned up.

Now that I am cleaned up I can't expect anything to change for the better at work, I don't really deserve it.

Regardless of the issues i face, getting clean is the best thing I have ever done. Staying a drunk was just leading me to physco ward and an early grave.

Thanks