Canuckleman45

Point taken and thank you! I appreciate the advice. I'm sorry if I got a little defensive, I'm just feeling quite helpless, end of the rope kind of thing. In a perfect world we would just bw able to say enough is enough. But that ain't happening

Dee74

with regards to drinking you can definitely say that. It means a lot of changes, sure, but isn't change the whole motivation anyway?

D

Canuckleman45

Definitely change is the whole motivation. When I was younger we'd talk about going and getting all piled up for a week straight. lol. now? I'd like to go and see the sights and adventures. booze isn't required and thats what I want.

DontRemember

Like I said earlier.. Do a year and see the sights/things around your area. When I start my diet or "cutting" as I like to call it(manly man!), the last place I'd go to is an all you can buffet for food. I eat at home 95% of the time for the 1st month(because I have **** willpower) and venture a bit further out each week after that.

Berrybean

When I first got sober I though my life was over and it might mean never doing anything meeting anyone. 3.5 years later and I do more now than I ever did when I was still drinking and have many and more varies friends than when I was drinking.

This place and AA made that possible - because they helped me tackle my denial and didnt just I've me easy answers and platitudes. You know, they say over on F&F that you can tell if an alcoholic is working on their recovery or not by saying 'no' or denying one of their requests. If they respond aggressively (verbally or physically ) chances are there's no recovery being worked.

You know, you don't need to decide anything about vacations just yet. You can wait and see how your recovery pans out. Out of interest, does your wife want you to be sober, or is she still partying / doesn't see the need for abstinence ?
AA might not be your thing, but there are other ways to work on your recovery. Do you have a plan? If not, perhaps focus on making one rather than over-thinking vacations for a while. http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...y-plans-2.html

Whatever you decide, wishing you all the best for your sobriety and recovery.
BB

JK130

"...because if we stayed home and wanted to drink I would."

You might want to give a little more attention to this part of your recovery plan, because you're right - a person who wants to can drink anywhere, on vacation or at home. It takes a while for an alcoholic to be able to live with "I want to drink, but I won't." Early recovery is the perfect time to explore, get active and connect with old or new interests. Have fun and stay safe!

JustTony

Hi Canuckleman,

I have been in a similar position but I backed out of booking an all inclusive holiday in the short term.

My mind is wired in a way that says "if it is all inclusive they are expecting me to drink $X amount and therefore I have paid for it! I'll be damned if I am not going to get my moneys worth then!" This coupled with the fact that I am an alcoholic is too dangerous for me.

So I have to avoid that situation for a very long time. But maybe I am weaker than you?

Regards,

JT