Gabe1980

Hi folks. I'm wondering if anyone else has had an experience like this. I relapsed last night and drank a bottle of wine and 2 bottles of ale. I was prescribed diazepam for the first time yesterday to treat some side effects of a hormone treatment I'm having, mainly anxiety/panic which I dont normally suffer from. I'd never taken it before and after the first two tablets I had the most intense alcohol craving Ive ever had. The part of my brain which is central to recovery, manages cravings and weighs up decision/consequences literally wasn't there. It had gone to sleep. I was at the shop buying wine before I even realised what I was doing. Is this a known thing with diazepam? It was like it just opened the door for my AV which completely took over and Im gutted as I was almost at 7 weeks sober.
Im taking it on the chin and starting over. Tablets are in the bin and renewed my committment to sobriey.
I can honestly say I WOULD NOT have drank it I hadn't taken them. In the last 7 weeks Ive moved house, been to my brothers 40th and started this treatment and I have not come close to picking up a drink, even when its been really stressful. I think when you all talk about the Beast you are right. I see it as a little gremlin that is waiting to get in and work his evil. Didn't expect diazepam to open the door for him. You live and learn. Thanks for reading. Gabe x

Cuckoo

Just climb back on the horse, Gabe. Strength to you
C

Gabe1980

Cheers Cuckoo, thats the plan. Luckily I find being pissed off really motivating!

Anna

I'm sorry that happened. Did your dr know that you were a recovering alcoholic?

Gabe1980

No, I didn't say to her. I knew very little about Benzos and honestly didn't think it would be something dangerous for me. I feeling that staying away from anything mind altering is the only way to stay safe.

DontRemember

**Not medical advice** diazepam is an 'off brand' of valium...A lot like xanex,and it takes away your 'panic/anxiety',but lower's your guard to other things..It's basically booze in a pill(in my opinion)..Be careful.

Gabe1980

Addition - Im calling myself on not being completely honest. My recovery plan had slipped the past two weeks. Not as much exercise, no internet access so I haven't made it on here much and very little recovery reading. Been having far more drinking dreams as a result and was aware of having some romantic thoughts about red wine. I think I'd stared to white knuckle somewhat so maybe the diazepam opened the door for a relapse in the making. I just need to be completely honest with myself. I dont think I would have drank last night but it may have come later. At least my focus is back where it needs to be. Complicated, tricky stuff this sometimes

Gabe1980

Agreed. I couldn't remember why I'd ever stopped drinking. It took away the reality of my addiction. Flushed them down the toilet!

DontRemember

I take xanex when needed,but trash the remainders.. Doctors over prescribe in my view of it. Legal 'drug dealers' if you will.

Dee74

Hi Gabe - I'd go back to your Dr - give them the whole story then see what they suggest from there.

D

Gabe1980

I think Im going to take it easy and go back to the natural ways I've managed anxiety before. Meditation and exercise usually though this level of panic is unusual for me. Too freaked out just now to consider anymore meds.

Thank you for your posts everyone 😊

Gatordadof3

Approximately 5 months ago I stopped drinking for 2 weeks. My anxiety began to get out of control so my wife set me up a doctor's appt, at which time the doctor prescribed me xanax. The very first time I took them I had the worse cravings for a drink and couldn't resist, I would drink much more than I would normally. I'm talking 30 beers and 1/2 of a 750ml of whiskey in one day. I began to get distant from my wife, and family, I even took it so far to tell my wife I wanted a separation and moved out. It all feels like a dream that it happened, for 2 months straight I was in a complete fog that I can barely remember. I honestly felt close to death, thank God for my wife she convinced me to get help and I've now been sober for almost 2 months. I will never even attempt at ever taking any anxiety meds again, it took complete control of my life!

Instead I take natural remedies now that have been working well. I've been taking Htp5 400 mg prior to bed, 400 mg of Sam-e in the morning along with drinking Natural Calm in the morning. I get it all from the health store and if you get the store brand names they have buy 1 get 1. It's helped my anxiety and overall mood, I still have rough patches but it's to be expected after 15 years of drinking then quitting.

biminiblue

I had the same experience.

I hadn't drank for many years. In a short period of time I had several substantial traumas and losses happen and I wasn't coping. My doctor put me on xanax. That stuff is dangerous for people like me. I didn't abuse it, but my doctor just kept upping my dosage and I was prescribed 3 X 10mg per day.

It felt exactly like having a drink to me. Shut down the spinny brain - relaxed me and let me cope with problems. Just wonderful. Pretty soon every little problem needed a pill. Then I thought, well a drink will just enhance the relaxation. The xanax definitely highjacked my executive decision making. It says not to drive or operate heavy machinery, here I was taking them all day every day. . .

Seven years of drinking later and here I am on Sober Recovery.

I quit the xanax and all other prescription meds first, then tackled the alcohol.

Never again on benzos. I've heard this story way too many times, and I learned my lesson. I'm glad you made it back, Gabe.

Gabe1980

Thank you for posting that. I'm still reeling from what happened. I felt like I had completely lost control of myself and the craving were incredible. I've been trying to figure out whether I'm just full of BS and it was great unconcious plan to drink but I really dont think it was. I was left totally defensless after taking those pills. Horrible. I'm sorry it lasted so long for you and was so destructive but I'm glad you've found a way back. I use valerian (kalms) and Htp5. I've never had any cravings on either.

Gabe1980

Yeah me too. Really glad to be back and thanks for sharing Binimiblue. Its really good to know that this experience is understandable in relation to the drug. It's scared me but I can choose not to take it so at least I have that knowledge now. It obviously hijacks the bit of my brain I need to stay sober. I bet there are loads of us who shouldn't touch the stuff. Im glad you are OK now. Well done on kicking the lot and being sober 😊

rmeatgt350

As others have mentioned, benzo's have a well known side effect of lowering inhibitions. Imo, the should not be used by addicts, but I am not a dr. I would return to the dr and explain what happened. There are drugs that can treat anxiety and panic that are not conducive to lowering inhibition.

decchemist

Drinking alcohol whilst taking benzodiazepines is potentially lethal.

I used to work in pharma so have an interest in this sort of stuff. Looking on the internet, I cannot find any info on benzos being contraindicated where the patient are susceptible to alcohol cravings though I add in haste that I have no reason to doubt the reports in this thread. I think at the least this intense craving should be made clear to your doctors as they might not even be aware this can happen. They should then, in turn, report what you have to say to the regulatory authorities.

Most reports I have seen say benzos decrease craving for alcohol. If the contrary is also possible (we are all slightly different after all) then the medical profession needs to know.

Again, mixing these CNS actives is potentially fatal.

Andante

Just to offer a contrasting experience: I've taken Ativan (a benzo drug) occasionally for years without any of the dire effects reported here. Far from being anything like "liquid alcohol," it serves merely to take the edge off the physical manifestations of extreme anxiety when "natural" measures are ineffective. I experience no alcohol cravings, no lowering of inhibition, no euphoria, and no "high" from taking it. It's just one of many tools in my arsenal for coping with a chronically out-of-whack neurochemistry.

It's easy to jump on the bandwagon and demonize a particular drug or class of drugs based on a few people's bad experiences, but I think a more nuanced and thoughtful approach would serve the recovery community better.

Gabe1980

Thats interesting Andante. Im sure there are lots of legitimate uses for the drug and it's good it have been helpful for you. My mum has taken it for anxiety and found it a massive help though she doesn't have addiction issues. I think you are right, no drug should be demonised if it can be useful but there seem to be people like me where it overstimulates craving and reduces positive decision making and balanced judgement.
I have to take responsibilty too as I didn't properly look into what I was taking. As you say Decchemist, its really dangerous to mix with drink so Im lucky my respitory system held up as I have asthma. I'll tell my GP, both that I'm an alcoholic and that I had this issue with Diazepam.
Got to chalk it up to experience and not be so naieve in future. Good thing is it's refocused my committment to stay sober, so I guess every cloud and all that....

rmeatgt350

I'm definitely not trying to demonize any drug, I guess what I'd leave you with is you should be fully up front with your dr in the future, which is seems you know now. Having the whole picture may have changed what was prescribed to you. I'm glad you've refocused and wish you the best of luck.