Delilah1

How are you doing today?

ReadyAtLast

Thank you I try and keep this in mind -it's difficult when feeling down though but you are so right

ReadyAtLast

hi Delilah, thanks for your response. I feel pretty good today. I'm 1 week sober today. I know it's not loads but it's significant to me.

I don't know how or why but it FEELS different this time. I feel different. I've had a week or so over the last few months before but always picked up again. Not this time.

Hope you are doing ok and having a good weekend.

MidnightBlue

Hi, ReadyAtLast.

Sorry, I am quite late to the party, but better late than never.

I am sorry to hear you are struggling, but glad to see you posting.

Please, don’t feel embarrassed about posting! Mastering sobriety is a lifetime journey, not a competition in perfection. And everyone’s way is different, like fingerprints.

You had 3.5 years of sobriety. You know it’s possible. Though, IMO, having some considerable sober time under the belt can be a double sword. On one side, you’ve been there, you know the drill. It’s not that scary. It doesn’t completely belong to uncertainty.

On the other hand, it can give some false sense that you can get your body and brain under control faster than a total newbie. Partially, it may be so. But, newbie or not, your body still needs time to adjust to changes.

I can compare it to an athlete who was out of the gym for a while. Than she gets back (speaking about myself here) and tries to lift the same weight. Ouch. Not happening.

Don’t beat yourself up. Yes, you are irritated, tired, moody, etc. It’s understandable. It’s physiology. Don’t force it. It’s a new start. Give your body a break. It’s healing. Again. Take as much rest as you need and focus on NOW.

Make a thorough analysis of what caused a slip. We are living in environment with huge amount of ever-rising stress and tons of pressure to be “normal”. “Come on, relax, take a drink. You deserve it. Blah, blah”.

Again, I am so glad you are writing this. Because you are sharing your struggles with people who understand. Who were and are in your shoes. Who know how painful and sometimes next to impossible to walk this road.

So, back to basics, my friend. One step at a time. Your goal is not to “catch up” with your 3,5 years sober state, but to make every day without a drink. Then, when it gets easier ( and you know that it does), you will take on another challenge.

I am now working flexible hours and most Fridays I work from home. So, write to me if you feel like chatting with someone. We are Octsobermates, after all!

Sending you big positive vibes and warm hugs.

Everything will be all right.

Best wishes to you.

ReadyAtLast

thank you so much MB It touched my heart to just read your message, thank you. I've had a pretty horrendous day at work and if ever I would have picked up it would be now. but I'm home and drinking milkshakes and watching TV! I will wake up clear headed and sober in the morning ready to face whatever work throws at me.

I know we have bad days and it's just a case of dealing with them. Life on life's terms as many say.

I love the way you put a different perspective on having reasonable sober time then picking up again, how it feels, how we compare ourselves=now vs then etc.

Thank you for taking the time to write this and for thinking of me. I don't work Fridays so am usually pottering around at home so I will message you

Hope you are doing ok and life is treating you well