Seren

Hi Chilled!

I hope that you feel a bit better talking to everyone here. There are probably enough of us around 24 hours to keep talking. No one can stop time, Chilled. Hang in there...this, too, shall pass.

columbus

Again.

Speak about it.

You will be enlightening us

and helping your fellow sufferers.

You are not alone.

Chilledice

I don't know what else to say, I'm a psychological wreck. 31 years old and I feel like my life is over, I don't even see the POINT anymore! Why even keep TRYING? For what? This nightmare existence?

It's horrific, its unfair, its cruel and I don't see what I have done to deserve this!

Seren

You haven't done anything to deserve it, Chilled. What you do deserve is a chance, a chance to get real help and live the best life you can. I may not understand exactly how you are feeling, but I do feel the fear in your writing.

Please keep talking it out!

Dee74

You're in a far better place that you were a few months back Chilled - try not to lose heart - you are definitely getting somewhere

D

Chilledice

Maybe you can see something I cant? Its hard for me to tell where I am because im inside of me and you are outside if that makes sense?

Chilledice

I also on top of the OCD suffer with PTSD which I've had a long time, I somehow managed it with alcohol and the symptoms weren't that bad in comparison to now.....but then the booze stopped working and the anxiety just pushed through the booze so I knew I had to stop.


It's all just gotten soooooo much worse in such a short time and totally knocked me out!

Seren

What is something you enjoy doing, Chilled, that normally relaxes you the most? Is there something you can do to occupy your hands and mind for a bit? Didn't I see that you have started to draw?

I have no talent whatever, so I'm always a bit envious of people who have even the smallest amount of artistic talent. Have you been working on anything new before today?

Chilledice

I do like playing spanish guitar

Chilledice

I really wanna start planting some organic vegetables in my garden as well

Dee74

Its definitely harder to see when you're in panic mode and catastrophising.

Maybe even if you can't quite believe it right now you can trust us when we say we see a marked improvement in you, Chilledice?

D

D

Gilmer

I'm praying, Chilledice.

Chilledice

Well that's awesome man! I just need hope, that's all I need to beat this beast.

Chilledice

Thanks Gilmer I appreciate you big time!

Seren

Spanish guitar sounds fun...nylon string, right? (See, I do know some things )

Have you been able to spend some time practicing this past week? Old school, I know, but I loved Jose Feliciano. You may have never heard of him, but he was a great guitarist and played the spanish style guitar quite often. He was blind, too. Perhaps search YouTube if you are interested...

Chilledice

Always nylon I won't play spanish on anything else lol

I have heard Jose Feliciano he was indeed a great guitarist!

I've not really picked it up for a while, it's hard to motivate myself, I feel like the old me is lost so I don't actually do anything....maybe I should pick it up tomorrow.

Seren

Gonna have to get those fingers limbered up again! Music can be very healing and therapeutic

If you grow heirloom tomatoes, I will be very envious because I can manage to kill a cactus...and I so enjoy heirloom tomatoes!

Chilledice

Kill a cactus? As in drinking it? Is that even possible? Lol

Seren

Oh, no, I am just a poor plant parent.l simply do not have a green thumb. I wish I could grow my own heirloom tomatoes

Chilledice

Kale is my favourite, I love juicing it up and drinking it down. Very healthy for you