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I feel so sad...

Old 08-07-2017, 10:50 AM
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Jon
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I feel so sad...

I feel everything in my life means nothing...My own life feels like a burden and I can't seem to find an escape. How do I stop these tears from flowing, how do I keep my mind from causing me great pain and sadness...I can't be bigger or faster or stronger, I'm just me, a **** up, I want to die seriously. I feel so completely and utterly worthless...No one wants me around, I don't have a purpose, what is the point of living with so much pain in my life....
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Old 08-07-2017, 11:16 AM
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You're not a **** up, hollow. Your life is not a burden!! I know you feel that way right now, but you're not, really. You do have a purpose, I'm sure of it. You might just be having a hard time seeing what that purpose is. If you truly feel suicidal, call 911 or go to the nearest ER, call a friend or family member, or something. I am glad you felt free to reach out here.
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Old 08-07-2017, 11:17 AM
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Are you drinking now?
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Old 08-07-2017, 11:18 AM
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Are you in recovery, hollowx? If you're not and still drinking or using, I'd urge you to seek some professional help, especially if you're having thoughts of self harm. Please reach out to someone who can really help you. Others will be along with more experience to post shortly I'm sure. Prayers for you.
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Old 08-07-2017, 11:20 AM
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I am drinking now..heh...I have meds and docs and AA but it doesn't seem to be enough, this emptyness I feel is too real...
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Old 08-07-2017, 11:24 AM
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the booze is making your depression so much worse. You're not worthless, alcohol is worthless. You deserve better than to poison your body.
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Old 08-07-2017, 11:28 AM
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Forgive me if I'm misunderstanding, but if you are drinking now that could be very much contributing to your sad state of mind. The Booze Blues feel very real and bleak, but it's like putting on enormous magnifying goggles that see only the worst.

Get rid of the booze, give it some time and then see what real feelings lie beneath?

Sending you a hug.
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Old 08-07-2017, 11:28 AM
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My dream to just jump off the roof and feel the breeze as the life escapes from my breath one last time...
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Old 08-07-2017, 11:32 AM
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As someone in recovery once said to a friend of mine who was actively drinking, "if you commited suicide now you'd be killing a stranger."

You don't know who you really are until you give yourself a chance to find out.

Pour out the booze, drink some water, and try to get some rest, yes?
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Old 08-07-2017, 11:58 AM
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Suicide is just release...Sometimes you just can't hold on to something so broken...it will turn to dust in your arms...it's inevitable...
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Old 08-07-2017, 12:11 PM
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Being drunk and depressed is temporary, being dead is permanent. Don't do anything permanent. Many of us have been where you are. Hope you maybe eat something a take a nap or something.
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Old 08-07-2017, 12:12 PM
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Suicide is not a release, hollowX. It's just NOT. Sounds like you are trying to convince yourself it is. It's not the answer. Things that are broken can be mended; healed. I firmly believe that! They don't just turn to dust. Where'd you get that idea? We're here to help however we can, but please check yourself into an ER or call 911.
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Old 08-07-2017, 12:49 PM
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hollowx, please call the Suicide Hotline number.

California Suicide Hotlines - Suicide.org! California Suicide Hotlines, California Suicide Hotlines, California Suicide Hotlines, California Suicide Hotlines!

Talk this out with a professional that can help you.
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Old 08-07-2017, 12:54 PM
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There is a release much less painful and more likely to yield relief than suicide.

It's recovery.

What you're feeling sounds tremendously burdensome, awful, despairing. I can understand that feeling a little bit. I can imagine that feeling it with the intensity you're feeling it would feel hopeless and overwhelming.

You're worth fighting for, though. You're worth saving. There's a YOU inside you who knows this is true.

Reach out, pour out the alcohol, put down the drugs, get every shred of support you can for recovery.

Life IS beautiful and you can have that.

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Old 08-07-2017, 02:24 PM
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Hi Hollow. I understand the feeling of emptiness you're talking about. Many here do. I experience this, plus anxiety, low self esteem, etc. Other comments are correct, this feeling is ultimately just made worse with alcohol. None of us are a burden. And it is entirely possible to come out the other side from this.
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Old 08-07-2017, 02:26 PM
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I hope you are right and today is not my final night heh...
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Old 08-07-2017, 02:37 PM
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The thing is, I think so many of us DO feel the way you do, deep down, and drinking does temporarily make it better. It causes a whole rotten cycle. However, I know that drinking alters my already wonky brain chemistry, and hangovers are when I REALLY start to feel seriously depressed and anxious, tenfold. Someone here recently described alcohol as a loan shark, and it takes much more than it gives.
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Old 08-07-2017, 02:40 PM
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I suggest you see a doctor. Sadness can be a symptom of depression. Depression and alcohol (as I know from my own past) are dangerous and professional support is a VERY good idea. Support and empathy to you.
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Old 08-07-2017, 02:41 PM
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You're definitely not worthless Hollow. I don't know you and I'm worried about you and praying you're ok. Please stop drinking. You don't need to feel like this again. Things can get better and they will get better. Alcohol is making everything seem worse than it is. Please don't deny yourself the chance of being happy.
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Old 08-07-2017, 03:06 PM
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Jon
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Happiness is just an illusion, nothing matters, the world will keep on spinning...
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