You're not a **** up, hollow. Your life is not a burden!! I know you feel that way right now, but you're not, really. You do have a purpose, I'm sure of it. You might just be having a hard time seeing what that purpose is. If you truly feel suicidal, call 911 or go to the nearest ER, call a friend or family member, or something. I am glad you felt free to reach out here.