The only thing wrong with my relationship with alcohol...
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Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
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Originally Posted by whopper 
At one time it was illegal. Not sure why it changed to legal.
both governments ended up spending more money enforcing it, deaths and serious injury skyrocketed from bathtub gin, speakeasies sprung up all over the country( real numbers can never be determined but "official" estimates ranged from 20,000 to 100,000 in new york alone), crime rates skyrocketed( the purple gang and al copone were just 2 of many that caused a little bit of mayhem), and there was just a little bit of bribery,blackmail, and corruption occuring in law enforcement.
just to name a few
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Join Date: Jul 2015
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It's interesting to read everyone's responses. I've thought a lot about this too. It's a mystery.
I've never smoked, yet I know that people who do crave it, wish they could light up after a meal, feel deprived if they can't. It doesn't make sense to me: because we all know how bad it is for you. But it's really the same thing as drinking.
For me drinkingt started as a kind of connoisseur's interest in wine. Appreciating vintage and variety. But, boy, did it take off from there.
At first it was about the enjoyment of sitting down to relax with a glass of wine. I didn't want a "buzz". But the amounts kept growing. Have another glass. Don't just pick up one bottle, buy a whole case. Don't just drink on weekends, drink every night.
I never drank to get drunk. I didn't like that feeling. I never hung out in bars. Never got drunk in public. I wasn't a party girl. I'm a straightlaced, pretty conventional/boring mom, who just started drinking more and more. Maybe because I'm such a "good girl", I tried to hide it.
If I didn't crave the buzz, I did crave the relaxation, the way it would soothe worries and anxieties. I am fortunate enough to not have had any major trauma in my life, but I have struggled with anxiety and depression and obsessive worry for years. I think wine became a medication.
It's just interesting how different people's experiences can be, but we all are fighting the same battle in trying to release ourselves from the hold of this substance.
I've never smoked, yet I know that people who do crave it, wish they could light up after a meal, feel deprived if they can't. It doesn't make sense to me: because we all know how bad it is for you. But it's really the same thing as drinking.
For me drinkingt started as a kind of connoisseur's interest in wine. Appreciating vintage and variety. But, boy, did it take off from there.
At first it was about the enjoyment of sitting down to relax with a glass of wine. I didn't want a "buzz". But the amounts kept growing. Have another glass. Don't just pick up one bottle, buy a whole case. Don't just drink on weekends, drink every night.
I never drank to get drunk. I didn't like that feeling. I never hung out in bars. Never got drunk in public. I wasn't a party girl. I'm a straightlaced, pretty conventional/boring mom, who just started drinking more and more. Maybe because I'm such a "good girl", I tried to hide it.
If I didn't crave the buzz, I did crave the relaxation, the way it would soothe worries and anxieties. I am fortunate enough to not have had any major trauma in my life, but I have struggled with anxiety and depression and obsessive worry for years. I think wine became a medication.
It's just interesting how different people's experiences can be, but we all are fighting the same battle in trying to release ourselves from the hold of this substance.
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Join Date: May 2013
Location: New Hampshire
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I also wonder if "all" of the "normal drinkers" are perfectly happy with their consumption patterns, or some would like to drink less. Go to any sporting event, they're not all SR posters!
I get it - my wife has only 2 glasses of wine per week - but I suspect there are more that a few that wish they could cut back, as alcohol is an addictive drug that gets progressively more addictive at higher consumption rates (an unhappy fact for me as I tapered yesterday and today is Day #1).
I do think is dangerous to focus on other people's ability to "control" (or our perception of what their "control" actually is), as the question always comes back to 'why not me?' instead of the reality of our situation (we have been drinking large quantities of an addictive substance). If you focus on and feel "deprived" because you're not one of them, then it seems likely that more Day #1's await you. I would focus on acceptance of the cards we got dealt, and figure out a detailed path forward to get off the merry-go-round. One Day #1 is enough for me!
I get it - my wife has only 2 glasses of wine per week - but I suspect there are more that a few that wish they could cut back, as alcohol is an addictive drug that gets progressively more addictive at higher consumption rates (an unhappy fact for me as I tapered yesterday and today is Day #1).
I do think is dangerous to focus on other people's ability to "control" (or our perception of what their "control" actually is), as the question always comes back to 'why not me?' instead of the reality of our situation (we have been drinking large quantities of an addictive substance). If you focus on and feel "deprived" because you're not one of them, then it seems likely that more Day #1's await you. I would focus on acceptance of the cards we got dealt, and figure out a detailed path forward to get off the merry-go-round. One Day #1 is enough for me!
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Join Date: May 2014
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Originally Posted by Arpeggioh
Phone conversation with neighbor friend last night:
"Yeah, I had a couple of shots last night, just enough for a nice little buzz."
"That makes absolutely no sense to me!"
Nice little buzz? Why would you stop?? Why wouldn't you finish the bottle and then drive impaired to the store for another one and drink it until you fell down vomiting?? Oh, that's right: you're not an alcoholic...weird...
"Yeah, I had a couple of shots last night, just enough for a nice little buzz."
"That makes absolutely no sense to me!"
Nice little buzz? Why would you stop?? Why wouldn't you finish the bottle and then drive impaired to the store for another one and drink it until you fell down vomiting?? Oh, that's right: you're not an alcoholic...weird...
My family baffled me last Thanksgiving because I don't overeat and they do. I got a little bit of everything, turkey, potatoes, stuffing, gravy, green beans, broccoli salad, and pie. I enjoyed everything and was full when I was done but not stuffed. My step father went back for third and fourth helpings of things. I don't understand. You don't NEED to eat that much to feel full. The first few bites taste the best. It can't possibly become more enjoyable as you become increasingly more stuffed. I don't get it. They all asked me why I "barely ate". I was full.
They have the nerve to ask me why I can't just have a glass of wine, why I have to do it to excess. Why did it take a diagnosis of emphysema and congestive heart failure to get you to quit smoking? Why did it take your doctor putting you on insulin for you to stop eating donuts for breakfast? You made simple lifestyle changes and you improved your health and prolonged your life, but why did you ever get so bad to begin with? Because you were addicted to nicotine and sugar. Cigarettes make me sick. I have one and want to vomit up a lung. How do you smoke a pack or more a day?
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Brenda, your comment on it's prevalent abuse in American culture I think is spot on. I've lived in Spain now for 6 years and there is a constantly a party atmosphere and everywhere and alcohol is cheap even when you go out. However, people in general refrain from overdoing it moreso than in the US or in the UK. It's an interesting phenomenon and I think it would be interesting if someone looked into the roots of this cultural difference.
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Join Date: Jul 2015
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I've come across several times a Boston Globe article about heightened glamorization of drinking, in particular among women, that I think is has some good points. Not sure if I can post a link, but it's called "Women, drinking and wine-as-reward culture". A few quotes:
“We’re in a period where drinking is considered glamorous,” says Danielle Barry, an Arlington-based clinical psychologist with a background in addiction research and treatment. “It’s a connoisseur activity: good food, good alcohol. But this social acceptability can create more danger. These days, a martini in a bar can be the equivalent of four standard drinks."
"Nowadays we have people over at the end of the week, the kids have pizza, and parents have wine,” says Jen, a Metrowest mother who’s currently dealing with a friend’s alcoholism concerns. Nobody’s looking to see if someone has one too many glasses. Nobody’s doing body shots off their granite countertops. But the domestic setting can create its own problems."
“When you’re at home, it’s easier to lose track of how much you’re drinking,” says Barry. There are also fewer warning signs or consequences, like a DUI."
"Which is why it’s easy for high-functioning drinkers to cling to outward appearances to deny deeper issues."
"That’s the conundrum: As bartenders sling birdbath-size martinis and mom sites promote alcohol as a treat, alcohol abuse is perceived as a rock-bottom implosion — not the quiet recklessness more common among middle-class women."
"That's alcohol’s ultimate paradox: Use is glorified; abuse is stigmatized."
One of my pet peeves now are all the gift bags, napkins, posters and cards that say things like: "It's Wine Time!" or "Book Club? You mean Wine Club?" "Mommy's Time Out: Wine" .. that kind of thing. Hate them.
“We’re in a period where drinking is considered glamorous,” says Danielle Barry, an Arlington-based clinical psychologist with a background in addiction research and treatment. “It’s a connoisseur activity: good food, good alcohol. But this social acceptability can create more danger. These days, a martini in a bar can be the equivalent of four standard drinks."
"Nowadays we have people over at the end of the week, the kids have pizza, and parents have wine,” says Jen, a Metrowest mother who’s currently dealing with a friend’s alcoholism concerns. Nobody’s looking to see if someone has one too many glasses. Nobody’s doing body shots off their granite countertops. But the domestic setting can create its own problems."
“When you’re at home, it’s easier to lose track of how much you’re drinking,” says Barry. There are also fewer warning signs or consequences, like a DUI."
"Which is why it’s easy for high-functioning drinkers to cling to outward appearances to deny deeper issues."
"That’s the conundrum: As bartenders sling birdbath-size martinis and mom sites promote alcohol as a treat, alcohol abuse is perceived as a rock-bottom implosion — not the quiet recklessness more common among middle-class women."
"That's alcohol’s ultimate paradox: Use is glorified; abuse is stigmatized."
One of my pet peeves now are all the gift bags, napkins, posters and cards that say things like: "It's Wine Time!" or "Book Club? You mean Wine Club?" "Mommy's Time Out: Wine" .. that kind of thing. Hate them.
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Originally Posted by tranquilseeker
Brenda, your comment on it's prevalent abuse in American culture I think is spot on. I've lived in Spain now for 6 years and there is a constantly a party atmosphere and everywhere and alcohol is cheap even when you go out. However, people in general refrain from overdoing it moreso than in the US or in the UK. It's an interesting phenomenon and I think it would be interesting if someone looked into the roots of this cultural difference.
In Italy, you can have wine at the dinner table if your parents let you, but you probably didn't like the stuff anyway. It's just not as sexy if you're allowed to have it.
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Join Date: May 2014
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Originally Posted by tealily
I've come across several times a Boston Globe article about heightened glamorization of drinking, in particular among women, that I think is has some good points. Not sure if I can post a link, but it's called "Women, drinking and wine-as-reward culture". A few quotes:
“We’re in a period where drinking is considered glamorous,” says Danielle Barry, an Arlington-based clinical psychologist with a background in addiction research and treatment. “It’s a connoisseur activity: good food, good alcohol. But this social acceptability can create more danger. These days, a martini in a bar can be the equivalent of four standard drinks."
"Nowadays we have people over at the end of the week, the kids have pizza, and parents have wine,” says Jen, a Metrowest mother who’s currently dealing with a friend’s alcoholism concerns. Nobody’s looking to see if someone has one too many glasses. Nobody’s doing body shots off their granite countertops. But the domestic setting can create its own problems."
“When you’re at home, it’s easier to lose track of how much you’re drinking,” says Barry. There are also fewer warning signs or consequences, like a DUI."
"Which is why it’s easy for high-functioning drinkers to cling to outward appearances to deny deeper issues."
"That’s the conundrum: As bartenders sling birdbath-size martinis and mom sites promote alcohol as a treat, alcohol abuse is perceived as a rock-bottom implosion — not the quiet recklessness more common among middle-class women."
"That's alcohol’s ultimate paradox: Use is glorified; abuse is stigmatized."
One of my pet peeves now are all the gift bags, napkins, posters and cards that say things like: "It's Wine Time!" or "Book Club? You mean Wine Club?" "Mommy's Time Out: Wine" .. that kind of thing. Hate them.
“We’re in a period where drinking is considered glamorous,” says Danielle Barry, an Arlington-based clinical psychologist with a background in addiction research and treatment. “It’s a connoisseur activity: good food, good alcohol. But this social acceptability can create more danger. These days, a martini in a bar can be the equivalent of four standard drinks."
"Nowadays we have people over at the end of the week, the kids have pizza, and parents have wine,” says Jen, a Metrowest mother who’s currently dealing with a friend’s alcoholism concerns. Nobody’s looking to see if someone has one too many glasses. Nobody’s doing body shots off their granite countertops. But the domestic setting can create its own problems."
“When you’re at home, it’s easier to lose track of how much you’re drinking,” says Barry. There are also fewer warning signs or consequences, like a DUI."
"Which is why it’s easy for high-functioning drinkers to cling to outward appearances to deny deeper issues."
"That’s the conundrum: As bartenders sling birdbath-size martinis and mom sites promote alcohol as a treat, alcohol abuse is perceived as a rock-bottom implosion — not the quiet recklessness more common among middle-class women."
"That's alcohol’s ultimate paradox: Use is glorified; abuse is stigmatized."
One of my pet peeves now are all the gift bags, napkins, posters and cards that say things like: "It's Wine Time!" or "Book Club? You mean Wine Club?" "Mommy's Time Out: Wine" .. that kind of thing. Hate them.
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 4,860
My two cents:
The best way to handle questions about our relationships with alcohol doesn't come from searching for answers among others, society or culture. We're best off determining why we had an unhealthy relationship with alcohol, why we cannot ever have a healthy relationship with alcohol and not worry about the rest of it.
In the finest hospitals and universities, very smart people research addiction, even on a cellular level. I hope they gain helpful, science-based knowledge. But that won't change us. There's no such thing as a "cure" in pill form or other method of delivery because it doesn't get at the key question: "Why do we want to escape through alcohol?" The answer to that question won't be found in a lab. It is found with soul-searching.
The history books contain and -- I fear, will continue to include -- many chapters about culture's failures to adequately handle substances that intoxicate us. Or kill us. The opium wars. Prohibition. Cartels. Today's scourge of heroin, in addition to alcohol. These topics make for interesting and perhaps helpful background. But they don't address the changes we need to make individually.
Some people can eat calorie-laden diets and still be slender. Yep, it would have been nice to be one of them. I have to be careful about what I consume and commit to frequent aerobic exercise. Nothing I can do to change that.
Why do some people push a person to have a drink of alcohol? Because they're ill-mannered. Ignore them.
There are all kinds of challenges inherent in getting sober. Very few of them occur outside of our heads. What we can do -- and that means all of us -- is focus on ourselves and creating lives without alcohol or drugs. Lives in which we "escape" with healthy diversions, not toxic ones.
The best way to handle questions about our relationships with alcohol doesn't come from searching for answers among others, society or culture. We're best off determining why we had an unhealthy relationship with alcohol, why we cannot ever have a healthy relationship with alcohol and not worry about the rest of it.
In the finest hospitals and universities, very smart people research addiction, even on a cellular level. I hope they gain helpful, science-based knowledge. But that won't change us. There's no such thing as a "cure" in pill form or other method of delivery because it doesn't get at the key question: "Why do we want to escape through alcohol?" The answer to that question won't be found in a lab. It is found with soul-searching.
The history books contain and -- I fear, will continue to include -- many chapters about culture's failures to adequately handle substances that intoxicate us. Or kill us. The opium wars. Prohibition. Cartels. Today's scourge of heroin, in addition to alcohol. These topics make for interesting and perhaps helpful background. But they don't address the changes we need to make individually.
Some people can eat calorie-laden diets and still be slender. Yep, it would have been nice to be one of them. I have to be careful about what I consume and commit to frequent aerobic exercise. Nothing I can do to change that.
Why do some people push a person to have a drink of alcohol? Because they're ill-mannered. Ignore them.
There are all kinds of challenges inherent in getting sober. Very few of them occur outside of our heads. What we can do -- and that means all of us -- is focus on ourselves and creating lives without alcohol or drugs. Lives in which we "escape" with healthy diversions, not toxic ones.
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Join Date: May 2014
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Originally Posted by Venecia
My two cents:
The best way to handle questions about our relationships with alcohol doesn't come from searching for answers among others, society or culture. We're best off determining why we had an unhealthy relationship with alcohol, why we cannot ever have a healthy relationship with alcohol and not worry about the rest of it.
In the finest hospitals and universities, very smart people research addiction, even on a cellular level. I hope they gain helpful, science-based knowledge. But that won't change us. There's no such thing as a "cure" in pill form or other method of delivery because it doesn't get at the key question: "Why do we want to escape through alcohol?" The answer to that question won't be found in a lab. It is found with soul-searching.
The history books contain and -- I fear, will continue to include -- many chapters about culture's failures to adequately handle substances that intoxicate us. Or kill us. The opium wars. Prohibition. Cartels. Today's scourge of heroin, in addition to alcohol. These topics make for interesting and perhaps helpful background. But they don't address the changes we need to make individually.
Some people can eat calorie-laden diets and still be slender. Yep, it would have been nice to be one of them. I have to be careful about what I consume and commit to frequent aerobic exercise. Nothing I can do to change that.
Why do some people push a person to have a drink of alcohol? Because they're ill-mannered. Ignore them.
There are all kinds of challenges inherent in getting sober. Very few of them occur outside of our heads. What we can do -- and that means all of us -- is focus on ourselves and creating lives without alcohol or drugs. Lives in which we "escape" with healthy diversions, not toxic ones.
The best way to handle questions about our relationships with alcohol doesn't come from searching for answers among others, society or culture. We're best off determining why we had an unhealthy relationship with alcohol, why we cannot ever have a healthy relationship with alcohol and not worry about the rest of it.
In the finest hospitals and universities, very smart people research addiction, even on a cellular level. I hope they gain helpful, science-based knowledge. But that won't change us. There's no such thing as a "cure" in pill form or other method of delivery because it doesn't get at the key question: "Why do we want to escape through alcohol?" The answer to that question won't be found in a lab. It is found with soul-searching.
The history books contain and -- I fear, will continue to include -- many chapters about culture's failures to adequately handle substances that intoxicate us. Or kill us. The opium wars. Prohibition. Cartels. Today's scourge of heroin, in addition to alcohol. These topics make for interesting and perhaps helpful background. But they don't address the changes we need to make individually.
Some people can eat calorie-laden diets and still be slender. Yep, it would have been nice to be one of them. I have to be careful about what I consume and commit to frequent aerobic exercise. Nothing I can do to change that.
Why do some people push a person to have a drink of alcohol? Because they're ill-mannered. Ignore them.
There are all kinds of challenges inherent in getting sober. Very few of them occur outside of our heads. What we can do -- and that means all of us -- is focus on ourselves and creating lives without alcohol or drugs. Lives in which we "escape" with healthy diversions, not toxic ones.
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Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Toronto, Canada,
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When I saw the show My 600 lb Life, it makes me wonder how someone can weigh so much? And why they keep on over eating everyday? So alcoholism is comparable to the people who have an eating disorder. Why can't they just stop eating? Why some cannot stop drinking? They are both addictions.
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Posts: 292
Originally Posted by BrendaChenowyth
A big part of the problem is it's withheld until we're of a certain age, but if you're cool you were already doing it secretly anyway. Then there's a big blowout celebration just because you're finally able to buy alcohol legally.
Alcohol being prohibited when you're young, while you see adults drinking all the time, creates an "energy" around it that otherwise may not exist if it not prohibited. I'm not saying kids should be allowed to drink...but I know that as a kid, when I was given the occasional sip of beer on the sly by my Dad or grandfather, my reaction was like "Blech! How could anybody drink this?" Heck, they probably knew that's what my reaction would be. Same with wine, and just the smell of hard liquor turned my stomach. And that was that. Absolutely no interest in alcohol until I was a around 18-19 and friends were drinking.
But even then, between ages 20 and roughly 36, I was able to enjoy an occasional drink or two with friends or at a ballgame with no issues. Drank very rarely in college, even. I wonder what changed and why...and why *then* and not ten years earlier? There were some personal issues at that time that made me want to escape, or at least dull, reality...but they weren't insurmountable things, and I had personal challenges prior to that and didn't drink over them. At this point, I've stopped worrying about the "why" and just accepted, as an article of faith, that I cannot drink anymore, at all. It's served me well for over 15 months.
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