I am freaking out
I am freaking out
As the title goes I am seriously freaking out right now. I think I made a mistake at work and now I'm afraid I am going to lose my job. I can't lose my job. I just can't.
It's going to be a sleepless night for me. That's the thing about anxiety - the thoughts just never go away.
It's going to be a sleepless night for me. That's the thing about anxiety - the thoughts just never go away.
I am sorry you are going through this, Tetra
I have had some epic screw ups at work, over the years. If it is even a tiny bit helpful, imagine 1 year or 5 years from now and what a tiny blip this might be from that vantage point.
I don't know your details and I am not suggesting it isn't a big thing (some of my things were BIG and some not so much) but I know the anxiety when you don't know the outcome yet can be debilitating.
My thoughts are with you, Tetra
I have had some epic screw ups at work, over the years. If it is even a tiny bit helpful, imagine 1 year or 5 years from now and what a tiny blip this might be from that vantage point.
I don't know your details and I am not suggesting it isn't a big thing (some of my things were BIG and some not so much) but I know the anxiety when you don't know the outcome yet can be debilitating.
My thoughts are with you, Tetra
(((Tetra)))...don't freak out and keep yourself from getting a good nights rest. You can't do anything about it tonight, don't waste the energy. Take a hot bath, have some tea and try your best to relax. BREATH!
Hang in there and things will work themselves out tomorrow.
Hang in there and things will work themselves out tomorrow.
I just wanted to update this as a lot of you took the time to reply when I was very close to the edge so to speak, and I am very thankful.
Well as some of you know I work as a PA/medical secretary to a consultant. Pretty much anything that needs doing, he says "let Tetra know". So he handed me a biopsy report 6 weeks ago with a note written "urgent - notes please". That means he wanted the patients hospital chart. I checked the system and saw the patient was an inpatient at that time under a different consultant and I knew I could not get the chart. I put it in my tray and I meant to keep an eye on the situation but it slipped my mind.
So I came across the report this week when I was tidying up a bit and I immediately started to panic. I note the patient has cancer - in two different places I think. What I gathered from the system is that he/she is already having chemo under someone else. But I am not a doctor. What if they had cancer in both places? Would they need two types of chemo? I felt sick at the thought of someone's treatment being delayed 6 weeks because of my sloppiness.
I did speak to my dad (who is not a doctor either) but he did say "you worry too much. There is no way they would give him/her two types of chemo at once time. It is very hard on the system". I spoke to my colleague who just said "if the chart is available just leave it out for him. If anything he will dictate a letter saying something about the delay. To be truthful its not a big deal as everyone who works here has access to lab reports and someone would have picked up on it and been in touch".
So I did fetch the chart and left it on his desk. I had to leave early last Thursday and I did not see him but I saw he came in late in the evening to do paperwork as the file was back on my own desk yesterday morning with a post it saying "Ok, dealt with. Chart back to sort and file".
So you were all perfectly right. I do overthink and jump to the worst possible conclusions, This anxiety is very very hard to deal with. I thought I was coming to grips with it but I still have my ok days and my very bad days.
Anyway thanks again to all of you.
Well as some of you know I work as a PA/medical secretary to a consultant. Pretty much anything that needs doing, he says "let Tetra know". So he handed me a biopsy report 6 weeks ago with a note written "urgent - notes please". That means he wanted the patients hospital chart. I checked the system and saw the patient was an inpatient at that time under a different consultant and I knew I could not get the chart. I put it in my tray and I meant to keep an eye on the situation but it slipped my mind.
So I came across the report this week when I was tidying up a bit and I immediately started to panic. I note the patient has cancer - in two different places I think. What I gathered from the system is that he/she is already having chemo under someone else. But I am not a doctor. What if they had cancer in both places? Would they need two types of chemo? I felt sick at the thought of someone's treatment being delayed 6 weeks because of my sloppiness.
I did speak to my dad (who is not a doctor either) but he did say "you worry too much. There is no way they would give him/her two types of chemo at once time. It is very hard on the system". I spoke to my colleague who just said "if the chart is available just leave it out for him. If anything he will dictate a letter saying something about the delay. To be truthful its not a big deal as everyone who works here has access to lab reports and someone would have picked up on it and been in touch".
So I did fetch the chart and left it on his desk. I had to leave early last Thursday and I did not see him but I saw he came in late in the evening to do paperwork as the file was back on my own desk yesterday morning with a post it saying "Ok, dealt with. Chart back to sort and file".
So you were all perfectly right. I do overthink and jump to the worst possible conclusions, This anxiety is very very hard to deal with. I thought I was coming to grips with it but I still have my ok days and my very bad days.
Anyway thanks again to all of you.
Thank you all.
Now it is 28/05/17 and I started my job on 28/05/16 so I have been there for a year. Sometimes it is very stressful but I do not hate it and I do not dread going in every day so that's good.
I probably do have a habit of thinking too much. My consultant has surgery twice a week. Every night before the surgeries I have started lighting candles that the patients will get beds and everything will be ok. (Like my Granny did for me the morning I had a big exam.) The ED gets so crowded that we usually get e-mails saying 'all non essential surgery is cancelled". I speak to the people on the phone every day. I offer them a surgery date and they are so grateful and they tell me "thank you so much. You made my day. I am so happy". I feel for them. I really do.
I told a colleague one time about the candle thing. She said "I know you feel for them but that is bad for you as it means you are taking work home with you". I have also woken in a panic in the middle of the night thinking did I send the theatre list and booking forms upstairs?
How can we not feel for people though? The world is such a crazy place at the moment that we should all try to be a little kinder to each other.
Anyway thanks all of you
Now it is 28/05/17 and I started my job on 28/05/16 so I have been there for a year. Sometimes it is very stressful but I do not hate it and I do not dread going in every day so that's good.
I probably do have a habit of thinking too much. My consultant has surgery twice a week. Every night before the surgeries I have started lighting candles that the patients will get beds and everything will be ok. (Like my Granny did for me the morning I had a big exam.) The ED gets so crowded that we usually get e-mails saying 'all non essential surgery is cancelled". I speak to the people on the phone every day. I offer them a surgery date and they are so grateful and they tell me "thank you so much. You made my day. I am so happy". I feel for them. I really do.
I told a colleague one time about the candle thing. She said "I know you feel for them but that is bad for you as it means you are taking work home with you". I have also woken in a panic in the middle of the night thinking did I send the theatre list and booking forms upstairs?
How can we not feel for people though? The world is such a crazy place at the moment that we should all try to be a little kinder to each other.
Anyway thanks all of you
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