Letter to cop
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 1,869
Originally Posted by vulturine 
I'm just saying my problem isn't solvable, he needs to leave me alone. While we were separated, I was fine and I think he saw that I was doing well and came back to take everything away again cuz I'm stupid and he's charming and I fell for him. I never loved him as much as I loved myself and at this point I hate myself again, so I hate him and I want him to suffer....so yeah, he needs to leave me alone.
Why are you blaming your actions on your boyfriend?
I am not going to repeat what has been said over and over... I just want to say that we support you and that we will be here for you.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
I suppose what they want the letter to convey is that you are so sickened by your own unacceptable violence to someone who did nothing to deserve such treatment that you are determined to take responsibility for your actions and will ensure that you never behave in such a way again. They want to know that you're not going to hurt people if they don't incarcerate you. It doesn't sound from your draft letter or any of your posts like any of those things are the case.
My feeling was that the letter was just full of excuses and self-justification, and doesn't sound like you have an ounce of contrition or humility, or are accepting any real responsibility for what you did. But maybe that's just me. If someone had hurt you and sent it to you, what would you think? Whether he's suffering trauma or not is kind of beyond the point. It's not okay to punch someone in the face. Anyone. People don't exist for you to hurt. Do you actually WANT to get better? To be able to control these rages and change your behaviour so you can treat other people well? I ask because that just doesn't come across in your posts very much. It just sounds like you don't want to have to deal with the consequences of your behavior, but don't really want to change anything. Maybe I'm completely misunderstanding your posts. If so I apologise.
I hope you will get the help that you need.
BB
My feeling was that the letter was just full of excuses and self-justification, and doesn't sound like you have an ounce of contrition or humility, or are accepting any real responsibility for what you did. But maybe that's just me. If someone had hurt you and sent it to you, what would you think? Whether he's suffering trauma or not is kind of beyond the point. It's not okay to punch someone in the face. Anyone. People don't exist for you to hurt. Do you actually WANT to get better? To be able to control these rages and change your behaviour so you can treat other people well? I ask because that just doesn't come across in your posts very much. It just sounds like you don't want to have to deal with the consequences of your behavior, but don't really want to change anything. Maybe I'm completely misunderstanding your posts. If so I apologise.
I hope you will get the help that you need.
BB
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,355
Try not to make the letter sound like your putting the police on a pedal stool or sucking up to them. Keep it genuine and short and to the point. Apologize (and say why you are sorry), and inform them what you are doing to keep it from happening again.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 1,021
Originally Posted by vulturine
Can someone please help me out with the structure for an apology letter to a police officer I punched in the face? I haven't learned anything from any of this
To constable whatever,
I am writing to tell you that I'm sorry I punched you in the face. At the time I felt betrayed, hurt and afraid and unable to remove myself from the situation I had created for myself, so I reacted out of desperation. I am really sorry that you had to deal with what I hope is the last portion of the downward spiral I've been on over the past few years. Anonymous police force has always treated me with the utmost respect and compassion despite my constant mental health problems. I've always looked fondly on the police as people who basically hold society together. Police officers obviously possess a great deal of personal strength having to wake up every day with uncertainty and facing that with professionalism and grace.
Best wishes,
This person
To constable whatever,
I am writing to tell you that I'm sorry I punched you in the face. At the time I felt betrayed, hurt and afraid and unable to remove myself from the situation I had created for myself, so I reacted out of desperation. I am really sorry that you had to deal with what I hope is the last portion of the downward spiral I've been on over the past few years. Anonymous police force has always treated me with the utmost respect and compassion despite my constant mental health problems. I've always looked fondly on the police as people who basically hold society together. Police officers obviously possess a great deal of personal strength having to wake up every day with uncertainty and facing that with professionalism and grace.
Best wishes,
This person
Personally, I would be shocked had I hit a cop when I was drunk. Note, I'm not passing judgement on what happened, as I did some outrageous crap when I've been drinking, but the afterward I was really appalled and shocked by my own behavior. And I simply don't get a sense of that in your letter.
If you are appalled and genuinely sorry, just start writing and let all your emotions out. Put on paper what you're really feeling. You can then edit for length, style and readability.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 2,308
This is sober recovery, we are all here trying to find a way to live in sobriety and recovery. Why are you asking people struggling to live a life of truth and honesty, to help you write a letter to cop that is untruthful and an attempt to get you out of something you did?
I hope you decide to get sober. There's a better life, if you want it. Hugs.
I hope you decide to get sober. There's a better life, if you want it. Hugs.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 807
This was a tough read for me as my daughter is probably about your age and a cop. Your flippant comment that "it didn't scar him for life or anything" made my blood boil. Not all scars are visible. Police officers see the worst of humanity every single shift. All the negative interactions add up and it changes them as a person. My daughter is completely different after 5 years as a cop. She has many "frequent flyers" she deals with, many times on holidays when she is away from her own family. My advice is to get help, real help, medication if you need it. And, if I can be frank, I hope you don't get off scott free. I believe in consequences for our actions and assaulting a police officer is a serious offense. All that being said I hope you can find a way to get the boyfriend out of your life, get sober and realize that the sort of rage and self harm you describe are no way to live.
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Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Northwest
Posts: 4,215
This...
"I haven't learned anything from any of this"
is where you lost me.
So you haven't learned anything, you aren't really sorry except for the inconvenience factor, but you're asking for help in how to pretend otherwise, yes?
Wishing you clarity. At some point, we all have to look in the mirror and decide who and what we want to be.
"I haven't learned anything from any of this"
is where you lost me.
So you haven't learned anything, you aren't really sorry except for the inconvenience factor, but you're asking for help in how to pretend otherwise, yes?
Wishing you clarity. At some point, we all have to look in the mirror and decide who and what we want to be.
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