30th Birthday
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: Michigan
Posts: 33
30th Birthday
I'm a newcomer here. Gosh do I feel silly posting every day, but it helps me keep in check to why I'm doing this- and helps me not feel so alone. So thank you.
Today is my 30th birthday. I have been sober for 5 days. I didn't even really plan on quitting drinking, but told myself I was "going to take a day off". Surprise, I started having heart problems after about 24 hours after my last drink. So here I am, determined to be sober for life.
I'm a stay-at-home mom. Always suffered from crippling anxiety and depression. What started as an innocent glass of wine during my son's afternoon nap (at about 1:00) turned into drinking two bottles of wine before my husband got home, and then sometimes sneaking shots of vodka after. I was having awful stomach pains every morning.
Often, I would have one bottle of wine and then decide I needed another. I would pack up my baby in the car and drive to the 711 and get another one...Shame, shame shame... to have put my son in that danger. The guilt is hanging on me with weight I can't even describe. Thank GOD I never got pulled over.
Starting to feel good again coming out of the WD period. And today is a huge trigger. It's beautiful outside, I have the week off, and it's my birthday. One moment at a time... I WILL NOT DRINK. I WILL NOT DRINK. Thanks for listening.
Today is my 30th birthday. I have been sober for 5 days. I didn't even really plan on quitting drinking, but told myself I was "going to take a day off". Surprise, I started having heart problems after about 24 hours after my last drink. So here I am, determined to be sober for life.
I'm a stay-at-home mom. Always suffered from crippling anxiety and depression. What started as an innocent glass of wine during my son's afternoon nap (at about 1:00) turned into drinking two bottles of wine before my husband got home, and then sometimes sneaking shots of vodka after. I was having awful stomach pains every morning.
Often, I would have one bottle of wine and then decide I needed another. I would pack up my baby in the car and drive to the 711 and get another one...Shame, shame shame... to have put my son in that danger. The guilt is hanging on me with weight I can't even describe. Thank GOD I never got pulled over.
Starting to feel good again coming out of the WD period. And today is a huge trigger. It's beautiful outside, I have the week off, and it's my birthday. One moment at a time... I WILL NOT DRINK. I WILL NOT DRINK. Thanks for listening.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,672
A good age to have new beginnings. Posting every day? Look at how many I have done in under a year. It keeps me sober and sane. I learn and grow. Instead of turning into a tv vegetable- I read, learn , grow and share. Better than what I became. Welcome- I hope your day is peaceful and happy. Keep posting. PJ
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 514
Happy birthday!! Keep posting and reading. It keeps me reminded of why I have to stay on top of myself or I'll slip yet again. If you had issues with withdrawal, you're more likely to have them.again even if you drink just a little. I don't get hangovers, even if I just have a beer or a drink - I get WDs. You obviously love your son and want the best for him - find another way to celebrate that doesn't involve alcohol 
Member
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Northwest U.S.
Posts: 778
Happy 30th Birthday Homesteadforage! It might not feel like it right now, but at the end of the day you will have given YOURSELF (not your son or your husband or anyone else) the greatest birthday gift that you can ever give to yourself by staying sober! Five days is a great, great start. Again, it might not feel like it, but you have made it through the most difficult part. So keep going! If you do, the only mom that your beautiful child will ever know is a sober mom. How awesome will that be? Also, trust me and others on this, at 5 days you might feel like crap, but at 50 or 500 days you will feel amazing and grateful and energetic and humble.
Anyway, this is a bit rambling, but I wish you a very happy birthday. Stop for a moment and consider the amazing gift you are giving yourself. And smile. You will look back on this day in a few months and realize that, on your 30th birthday, you gave yourself a gift that can never be taken away and it is the greatest gift that you have ever given yourself.
Anyway, this is a bit rambling, but I wish you a very happy birthday. Stop for a moment and consider the amazing gift you are giving yourself. And smile. You will look back on this day in a few months and realize that, on your 30th birthday, you gave yourself a gift that can never be taken away and it is the greatest gift that you have ever given yourself.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 131
Happy Birthday homestead. I clearly recall my drunken 30th birthday, 26 years ago. Wish I had kicked the habit then, would have saved so much.....wasted and lost time, hurt, shame, guilt, remorse, cash. The list is endless. Go for it now, dont waste another day x
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
Happy Birthday, Homestead. Life is so much easier without the crippling weight of guilt and shame associated with the drinking, and having the kids.
I had my first at 40. They're 11 and 8 now. For their early years I'd either take them with me when I went to buy alcohol, or I'd leave them unattended for 15 minutes or so while I quickly ran out to the store. It didn't dawn on me until later but what if I had gotten pulled over or something happened while I was out, that I couldn't get back to them? I try not to think about it but it sneaks in sometimes.
You can do this. I was glued to SR when I first quit. Absolutely had to have an outlet. I also incorporated other supportive activities into living sober. Making a plan. How do I deal with "Mom's night out" invitations? Fundraisers for school that involve parties where alcohol is served? That sort of stuff.
In the end, what matters is that I can hold my head up at the end of the day and know I did my best, without drinking. I can wake up and attend to my childrens' needs and not resent them because they are interrupting my drinking time. I can read to them at night when they go to bed without rushing through to hit the bottle.
Keep posting. Celebrate 30 like it's a whole new life. And it is a whole new life when you embrace a sober you.
I had my first at 40. They're 11 and 8 now. For their early years I'd either take them with me when I went to buy alcohol, or I'd leave them unattended for 15 minutes or so while I quickly ran out to the store. It didn't dawn on me until later but what if I had gotten pulled over or something happened while I was out, that I couldn't get back to them? I try not to think about it but it sneaks in sometimes.
You can do this. I was glued to SR when I first quit. Absolutely had to have an outlet. I also incorporated other supportive activities into living sober. Making a plan. How do I deal with "Mom's night out" invitations? Fundraisers for school that involve parties where alcohol is served? That sort of stuff.
In the end, what matters is that I can hold my head up at the end of the day and know I did my best, without drinking. I can wake up and attend to my childrens' needs and not resent them because they are interrupting my drinking time. I can read to them at night when they go to bed without rushing through to hit the bottle.
Keep posting. Celebrate 30 like it's a whole new life. And it is a whole new life when you embrace a sober you.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Northwest U.S.
Posts: 778
Originally Posted by Homesteadforage 
Soberandhonest- your post made me cry. LOL Thanks so much everyone.
Your post, and specifically your trips to the store, reminded me of my last few weeks of drinking. I would make breakfast for my kids while drinking an IPA, usually finishing a couple before taking them to school, and then would sip on wine during my commute to work. Those were dark, dark days. I am so incredibly thankful to have put them behind me. By giving up booze, I have a chance to be an awesome father. I don't always succeed, but at least I have that opportunity without the 10-ton anchor of addiction tied to my back.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 514
And another thing to keep in mind - it is a progressive illness. You may be able to manage your way to the store a little tipsy now, but what would happen in a few weeks or months? You'd need more to get the same feeling, and next thing you know you wake up to a tragedy. I had heard the whole progressive illness thing and didn't believe it... Until all I could remember about some days was opening a bottle. Did not think that would ever be me! Stay strong
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 2,950
Ohhh 30 was NOT a happy birthday for me. Some people say it doesn't bother them and many women say they welcome turning 40 and 50, and maybe I will, but 30 was most definitely NOT welcome. lol
I'm rooting for you, and I also tend to be on here daily, so please feel free to reach out. I am on day 7. We got this.
I'm rooting for you, and I also tend to be on here daily, so please feel free to reach out. I am on day 7. We got this.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Georgia
Posts: 188
I realized I had a problem at 30. Life is so hard. I didnt connect the dots and quit until I sae a counselor. Getting to the root of why I was drinking was what helped me finally.
2 years ago on this very date I couldnt go 3 days without binge drinking. Your drinking sounds like binge drinking also.
Read my post. It wont be easy but you can do this!
2 years ago on this very date I couldnt go 3 days without binge drinking. Your drinking sounds like binge drinking also.
Read my post. It wont be easy but you can do this!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,874
Originally Posted by PhoenixJ
A good age to have new beginnings. Posting every day? Look at how many I have done in under a year. It keeps me sober and sane. I learn and grow. Instead of turning into a tv vegetable- I read, learn , grow and share. Better than what I became. Welcome- I hope your day is peaceful and happy. Keep posting. PJ
Member
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: Omaha, Nebraska
Posts: 34
Happy birthday!!!
This is the best gift you could ever give yourself!!
I am also a SAHM and have found myself in similar situations as you with my sons. Please don't beat yourself up over it as it is now in the past! That's what I have been trying to do. I'm only 8 days sober, but it has been an awesome 8 days with my kiddos.
Stay strong, especially today since it's a day to celebrate. Just keep in mind how wonderful it will be to wake up sober and no WD.
This is the best gift you could ever give yourself!!I am also a SAHM and have found myself in similar situations as you with my sons. Please don't beat yourself up over it as it is now in the past! That's what I have been trying to do. I'm only 8 days sober, but it has been an awesome 8 days with my kiddos.
Stay strong, especially today since it's a day to celebrate. Just keep in mind how wonderful it will be to wake up sober and no WD.
under new management
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Calgary, Alberta
Posts: 2,339
Happy Birthday, Homesteadforage!!!!!
What a fantastic gift to give to yourself! This will be a birthday to remember
5 days, woot!!! Sobriety rocks!
Post away, no such thing as too much posting!
What a fantastic gift to give to yourself! This will be a birthday to remember
5 days, woot!!! Sobriety rocks!
Post away, no such thing as too much posting!
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