Lollipops

I cant believe i am here but i am truly hoping this is where i find my willpower to stop. I have always loved a drink and had a bit too much of a close relationship with it. Even at age 20 i told my mother i thought i had a problem and couldnt stop. Back then though it was probably only a tiny amount compared to 12 years on. Plus i would only drink a couple of times a.week where as now its been virtually every night. My drinking has got progressively worse since having a child. Easy to convince yourself youve worked hard all day looking after them so treat yourself to 2 bottles of wine. Those 2 bottles of wine were probably about 4 or 5 nights a week. That 2 bottles has recently creeped right up to 3 the last week. 3 bottles of white wine every night pretty much for6 days. I feel utterly ashamed, guilty, depressed and most of all that i have been neglectful of my son. I feel rotten to the core and disgusted with myself. It has to stop. It is taking a lot for me to type this and know people are going to read it and feel disgust at me but i need to tell people. I drink more when my partner works on an evening. He has often come home to find me comatosed on the settee and feels angry i do this. I hide empties then dispose of them in bottle bins the next day. I have posted on social media when drunk things i wouldnt normally say (nothing nasty). I drive a car probably while still over the limit. I have started drinking in the early afternoon sometimes. I willnot go to the doctor either as i am a qualified nurse and feel thoroughly ashamed. This is what i am pinning my hopes on. I hope to come back daily for support with this. I am going to beat this. Thank you for listening.

Lollipops

I will add that today has been day 1 of no alcohol and its nice to actualy remember coming to bed and that im going to be feeling fresh in the morning.

Grymt

Good you have talked to us. It helps. There is no judgement here. Many of us have been there done that. It is difficult but helps to share and confide. It's sometimes surprising to find how much it helps to talk to someone about what we are ashamed of to find that there is no need to hide.

Anna

Welcome and I'm glad you posted.

Do you have a plan for how you will stop drinking and stay sober? It might be helpful to come up with a plan that will work for you. Congratulations on Day 1.

Lollipops

Thank you. Any ideas people can offer on plans are most welcome. In january i managed 18 days sober with only a couple of sweats overnight so plan just to go cold turkey again. Im also a member of slimming world so im going to get stuck in and cook as i really love it but the wine makes me put weight on. When i dont drink i lose weight very well on the sw plan. Perhaps i can do some walks too as i want to get fitter. Thank u for not judging.

grayghost1965

No one here will judge you, and no one in the medical field will either. I work in our ER, and we have compassion for those honestly seeking help. Stick with it. You will be surprised at how awesome you really are !

Scrainblaugh

Welcome Lolli, support here from another mom of a young one. What types of things do you like to do to relax at the end of the day? Maybe start thinking about a plan by making a list of these things. This has helped me. I'm glad you're here sharing your story. It helps me to hear from others like me

mandosca

Oh Lollipop, our stories are so similar! I am a 34 year old mother of two boys and also seemed to have a bit more of a problem then most at 21 and it slowly got worst over the last 13 years. I too am in nursing, and as you know, that alone is stressful enough to cause someone to drink too much! I, like you (and most people here) know all too well exactaly how you feel. The depression, the guilt, the being ashamed. No one here will judge you. Ive been a member of this site for a long time and only wish that I had stayed close and listened to the advice from everybody here a long time ago, maybe then I would have quit sooner.
I am now on day 26 I think, so I am still a newbie to being sober, but would love to help in any way I can. Why dont you start by joining the March Support thread? The people on there are so kind and wonderful.. I just had a very hard time staying sober last Saturday and they helped me through it. Everytime you feel like you need a drink, post post and post! So many people will be here to talk you through it.
Anyways, like I said, if you need any help or anyone to talk to please let me know. I may only be sober for less then a month but Ive learned a few tricks. :-)

Delilah1

Welcome! I am glad you are here and posting. Absolutely no judgement from anyone on SR. I am also a mom, and can relate to drinking too much wine in the evenings. I thought it was a way to unwind, but truthfully, it just made the next day worse.

I have 15 months sober thanks to this site, and I am definitely a better mom, wife, and employee.

You can do this, getting a plan together is a good idea. Dee has a good link, I will find it and post it here.

You can do this!!!

least

Welcome to the family. I'm glad you decided to get sober. I got sober over 7 yrs ago and my life has never been better.

mandosca

Oh I misssed this post when I was reading before.. What is slimming world ? I too am trying really hard to get back in shape after putting on some wine pounds.. I'm going to google this slimming world thing right now. :-)

Mizzuno

Welcome! No judgement here. I am glad that you have found a place where you can get support. We are all working towards the same goal. Stay close and post.

Lollipops

Thanks so much for all the replies. I didnt expect some of the lovely words of encouragement. Feeling better already not having had a drink last night. Going to get ready and enjoy a nice afternoon with my boy after picking him up from nursery. I will check in later and report how day 2 has been

InASilentWay

Would it be possible to share what a plan looks like? Is it something you put on paper or just a rough idea of what you want to do and where you want to be a certain time from now? Looking for help. Thanks.

PhoenixJ

Support to you

InASilentWay

[QUOTE=Lollipops;6384746] I am going to beat this. /QUOTE]

Keep up the positive energy! All the best. Keep posting.

SoberNunn

Welcome . Your story is my story. 36 year old mum of 1. 2 bottles of wine a night and sometimes 3. I can relate to all the shame, guilt and disgust. I'm only on day 2 after many failed attempts. I hope we can offer each other support to turn our lives around.

Lollipops

Of course sobernunn! Im on day 2 after so many failed attempts but i have to do it. I worry about dying young because of this. My liver function is bound to be affected. We can do this together. Chin up!

Susiegirl

Hello there. I'm on slimming world too but wine has slowed my losses. I am on day 9 today. This past week has been great but I have eaten more chocolate and crisps than I normally would but rather them than the wine. I'm sure I can knock those on the head too.
Keep going Hun and you will feel a lot better soon. Xxx

Vinificent

Welcome Lollipops! You have taken the most powerful first step by finding SR and posting.. No judgement here and it's very flexible to get support whenever you need it - there is usually somewhere in the world that someone else is here, even if it's the middle of the night for you.
So much kudos to you for getting sober while your son is still very young. Alcohol has ruined many parent-child relationships, so the fact that you are bravely committing to recovery now means he won't ever know "drunk Mum" and that is priceless!
Keep posting 😎