Coping On A Ski Holiday
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Originally Posted by Kristoff 
Thx Bexxed........my true self knows that 'don't go' is really what I should do......I have told my friends that I won't be drinking but I know they probably don't truly believe me.....it would serve me well to pull out at this late stage, in the knowledge and hope that that sacrifice will demonstrate to them the extent of my commitment , which, in turn, may well help for future ski trips together.....I suspect they then would be more understanding of the predicament I am in.....one of the group (who is an influencer) is a doctor so I am hoping to have a quiet word in that ear too
Things don't change if we don't change them, and addiction makes us surprisingly resistant to making changes. We say we'll change, and then we do it half-assed. Stopping the booze is a really important change, obviously, lol, but the big changes come differently. It's like, taking a stand for your sobriety. Making it first. That is, telling your friends, you know what, I'm getting sober. The reality is that this holiday is a drink fest, and I'm not judging you guys for what you do, I'm saying that I can't, because I have to get sober.
If you had a broken leg, you could substitute that, right? "I can't go, I have to heal my broken leg and I can't go skiing." Because the reality is your holiday is skiing and drinking. If you can't do one or the other, you're not really "in" the trip, right?
I've found that it doesn't have to be complicated. My drunk made everything so complicated and I am only beginning to see that now. When I say to people, "Meh, I'm not drinking so I'm gonna skip on (x)", it's so simple. I literally don't even have to think about it anymore.
There are situations we can't get out of, and they will and do happen. Spontaneous drink fests that we didn't see coming. Work events. As you flex your sober muscles, you'll see them get easier. This one is totally in your court - you have complete control here. Once you are there, if you don't take that control now and bow out, it gets more murky
You always see people on here (and I have been one of them) who are newly sober and posting about a concert, vacation, wedding, party, etc. that they have to get through. The thing is they never HAVE to get through it. I think, personally, the real test is saying NO to the thing. It's part of admitting we have a problem. We can trick ourselves into thinking we don't really have a problem if we power through these situations "white knuckled" staying sober. They come back and post about how they made it through "sober" and believe me, I'm not knocking it, that's an accomplishment, but it feeds this insidious voice we all have, and ends up giving us "permission" later to go off. You see it over and over.
Bow out. Make the change. You can do it. It will be worth it.
B
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
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so for three years you chose NOT to go, but now this year with your brand new sobriety you ARE going?
why?
do yourself a favor, start NOW learning to put your SOBRIETY before anything else. set yourself up for success, don't TEST yourself, just to see IF you can.
why?
do yourself a favor, start NOW learning to put your SOBRIETY before anything else. set yourself up for success, don't TEST yourself, just to see IF you can.
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Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 1,476
[QUOTE=bexxed;6356822]I love skiing, so I know what this is going to sound like.
Don't go.
Sobriety is the thing that the rest of your life hinges on, right?
While I'm new here myself, I feel the need to jump into this thread. I agree with Bexxed. In fact, as I was reading your post, I was thinking exactly what Bexxed wrote..."Is a weekend of skiing worth your sobriety?"
Personal Story: Years ago, I was living in VT and my ex husband and I invited a group of friends to ski with us over the holiday weekend. One of my friends brought a friend who was newly sober and trying to abstain from drinking. The majority of the people in the group were heavy drinkers and as you stated, we partied at the lodge after the lifts closed, we partied and played pool (including drinking games) when we got back to the house, we partied over dinner and we partied by the campfire until very early in the morning. Then we got up early, hit the slopes and did it again. The woman who wasn't drinking ended leaving early because she was so afraid that she would start drinking again. I felt terrible about her leaving but she reassured me that her leaving had nothing to do with our company, but it was about her sobriety.
While I'm sure that you don't want to miss out on the ski trip, I'm not so sure it will be as enjoyable for you if you are surrounded by "party ski team". If I were to put myself into such a situation at this stage in my sobriety, I know it would be a trigger for me and I would most likely join in the fun. That's just my humble opinion.
Don't go.
Sobriety is the thing that the rest of your life hinges on, right?
While I'm new here myself, I feel the need to jump into this thread. I agree with Bexxed. In fact, as I was reading your post, I was thinking exactly what Bexxed wrote..."Is a weekend of skiing worth your sobriety?"
Personal Story: Years ago, I was living in VT and my ex husband and I invited a group of friends to ski with us over the holiday weekend. One of my friends brought a friend who was newly sober and trying to abstain from drinking. The majority of the people in the group were heavy drinkers and as you stated, we partied at the lodge after the lifts closed, we partied and played pool (including drinking games) when we got back to the house, we partied over dinner and we partied by the campfire until very early in the morning. Then we got up early, hit the slopes and did it again. The woman who wasn't drinking ended leaving early because she was so afraid that she would start drinking again. I felt terrible about her leaving but she reassured me that her leaving had nothing to do with our company, but it was about her sobriety.
While I'm sure that you don't want to miss out on the ski trip, I'm not so sure it will be as enjoyable for you if you are surrounded by "party ski team". If I were to put myself into such a situation at this stage in my sobriety, I know it would be a trigger for me and I would most likely join in the fun. That's just my humble opinion.
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Join Date: Mar 2017
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Originally Posted by hopeful4
I am just going to throw out that if these are your long term friend, why not just tell them the truth? That you are working on sobriety and that you may struggle, and that it would be helpful to have other events away from drinking.
If a friend of mine told me that, even if I were a big drinker, I would happily put down just to help my friend.
Just a thought. Good luck!
If a friend of mine told me that, even if I were a big drinker, I would happily put down just to help my friend.
Just a thought. Good luck!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 41
Originally Posted by AnvilheadII
so for three years you chose NOT to go, but now this year with your brand new sobriety you ARE going?
why?
do yourself a favor, start NOW learning to put your SOBRIETY before anything else. set yourself up for success, don't TEST yourself, just to see IF you can.
why?
do yourself a favor, start NOW learning to put your SOBRIETY before anything else. set yourself up for success, don't TEST yourself, just to see IF you can.
That being said, I have just played these scenarios through this morning and if I was being asked by the same group this morning "Do I want to go skiing next week for a week" ..... I wouldn't be answering in the positive.
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
and what would you do if you had recently suffered a broken leg?
or had pneumonia? or some other "illness"?
the mountains ain't going nowhere. they were there for the past three years, and will be there for at least another three. lol
i just want you to really REALLY think this thru. be well!
or had pneumonia? or some other "illness"?
the mountains ain't going nowhere. they were there for the past three years, and will be there for at least another three. lol
i just want you to really REALLY think this thru. be well!
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Hey, I'm down for an SR sober skiing holiday!
I love skiing, and I can't remember if I posted about it, maybe in my class group, but I went twice this year - most recently about 10 days ago. And skiing sober is SO MUCH BETTER. No hangover on the trail. No missing half a day. Believe it or not, not everyone is actually getting plastered. I mean, it depends where you go I guess. I was at Tahoe in December (CA, USA) and there's one section there where it's a real madhouse. I didn't stay or hang out there. Outside that scene was much nicer. And I met really cool people who have deeper appreciation for more aspects of the outdoors. The people who owned the lodge I stayed in had lived there since the olympics were there way back in the day, and they were amazing to talk with. Over tea!
I love skiing, and I can't remember if I posted about it, maybe in my class group, but I went twice this year - most recently about 10 days ago. And skiing sober is SO MUCH BETTER. No hangover on the trail. No missing half a day. Believe it or not, not everyone is actually getting plastered. I mean, it depends where you go I guess. I was at Tahoe in December (CA, USA) and there's one section there where it's a real madhouse. I didn't stay or hang out there. Outside that scene was much nicer. And I met really cool people who have deeper appreciation for more aspects of the outdoors. The people who owned the lodge I stayed in had lived there since the olympics were there way back in the day, and they were amazing to talk with. Over tea!
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